Doctor Who 4x01 - Partners in Crime
Includes spoilers for the episode and for the trailer following it. Sort of stream-of-consciousness and crazy-sounding, although I'm sure you expected the crazy, as it's me. If you read my journal, there are some new bits in here, mostly at the intersection of posts and at the end. Enjoy. :)
Okay, I'm ten minutes into (new ;) ) New Who, and I just have to ask: What the fuck is WITH this guy?! What is WITH him? Russell is so fucking goddamn WEIRD. "Why don't I make the pilot about what would happen if people's unwanted fat turned into cute globule-creatures and walked away?! HOW EXCITING!" Really, THAT?! Out of ALL the things that could be the pilot?! (I guess out of that and the filming budget. But seriously, what with the stuff Top Gear does, I pretty much think the BBC has about unlimited money. Just steal a car from Jeremy, James, and Richard, Russell, and then set a freaking episode in space. AND NOT BY A FAKE BLACK HOLE. GOD.)
What in the Jesus is WRONG with him?! I'm not sure if he's a genius or a total mediocre crackpot. All I know is, his limited and wide-eyed "knowledge" of science frustrates me, and ... I want whatever he's taking.
Maybe it's good to have someone so goddamn weird running Who. Writing: the only job where your performance is enhanced by being certifiably insane.
And was it entirely necessary for them to show up at the beginning of the workday and then sit in the bathroom/closet until 5/6 p.m.? Seriously? Did either of them bring a book? I didn't see one. And in Donna's case, that is certainly bad for your back. I would have gotten bored and ... of course, HUNGRY. It's kind of gross to eat in a bathroom, even if we all had to do it in middle school when the pretty girls made fun of us for being nerds who liked to watch Doctor Who.
But that is neither here nor there. More stream-of-consciousness thoughts:
1. "I had this one day with you, and I was gonna change, I was gonna do so much ... and then I woke up the next morning. Same old life."
See, there are so many better ways to say that. What if this was the line?
"... and then I woke up the next morning. Laundry still needed done. Hundreds of messages on my answerphone from angry wedding guests. [Did they die? Must check "The Runaway Bride." Yeah, not married to the idea of watching that one again, I can tell you. I suppose I should find it heartening that even after "The Runaway Bride" we could have "Human Nature" and "Blink."]"
I mean, we already know what she's going to say, since Who beats us with its cariacature diatribes. Why not at least make it pretty? Inspire some thought?
2. Since when do restaurants have cat flaps?
3. Look, Beeb, everybody else [read: America] has been doing CGI for years. You've got to stop expecting us to be impressed that you can show us things that aren't there. We get the idea; we don't need a ten-minute montage of your effect! (Joss Whedon would understand that. Graphics people are creative minds and like all creative minds they must be shut down!) I can just see the CGI team at the BBC: "Oooooh, lookie! I can make the world look like it's being taken over by these cute little fat creatures I drew in SketchUp yesterday! How cooooooool!"
When are people going to prioritize, at least in season premieres, the fact that it's not special effects or sheer weirdness that mesmerizes viewers, it's ideas? Ideas. Like when the Doctor and Rose stood in a whirling circle of London citizens with mind-controlling totalitarian headpieces. Like the incredible raw fear of what it would be like to have your loved ones suddenly walk out of your house and to the highest point around, to stand on the edge ... and the unfortunate irony that in fact you had nothing to be afraid of because it was impossible to induce suicide via blood control. Like the horror that the Doctor could not even recognize Martha or use his own immense power to save them from any situation or -- or worse, the fact that he wouldn't remember that he could never use a gun?
(Okay, that one, I might honestly have to check on, because Tom Baker totally beat up some people. I was like, "!!!! TOM!!!!" I think Leela made him violent. And I don't mean that in a "every time a man has a flaw it's because there's some evil woman behind it" kind of way (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA as if), but in a "Leela's violence kept achieving really, really useful ends and he kind of felt impotent for always trying to wriggle out of things with pure silliness, so he desperately wanted to impress her" way. Anyway. Point is. Ideas are the scary bit, and convincing acting, not your second-rate special effects, because if we wanted special effects we'd watch Armageddon, and yours just pain us, but obviously we DON'T want to be watching Armageddon because we're watching Doctor Who. I do go on.)
4. "Doctor. WHAT. DO. YOU. NEED?!" That is the best "stop gibbering about human inferiority and give me a fucking chance to prove myself, you sod" from any New Who companion yet. Donna, we can be friends.
(Well, actually, I decided we could be friends after: "Donna, hold on!" "I AM!" That was fucking amazing. She is truly the antithesis of romance. Clearly that's why she was a perfect casting choice in "The Runaway Bride." Which is weird considering when I first watched "The Runaway Bride" -- before I knew how funny she could be on her own show -- I hated her.)
5. This is supposed to be a kids' show. Right. Right. Okay, I take back some of number 3 because Rusty is probably right that all every British five-year-old wanted yesterday was a big shot of a spaceship. But still.
6. HAHAHAHA. I fucking love that. Where did that even come from. "Before we go back to the mothership, kids, let's have a National Socialist rally on the street!"
7. Was that a shout-out to Mad Martha? Do they know? THANK YOU FOR ALL THE TORRENTS!
8. "Actually, as a diet plan it sorta works." <-- That's just what I was thinking.
9. Dude, David Tennant looked so TRAGIC, and then it turned out he was just worried about someone asking him out again. I thought he was going to do the "Losing Rose Has Made Me Uncontrollably Paranoid About Losing People I Love So I Have Decided Not To Love Anybody" speech. But instead he ... said she couldn't come if she was going to flirt with him all the time. Which is assy, but now that I think of it, thank Jesus Russell finally made a female character honestly not attracted to the Doctor. I think I'm going to like who Donna's going to become. I see her sipping hot chocolate, deep in the TARDIS kitchens, while the Doctor gulps champagne and sobs about how Rose's sweater doesn't smell like her anymore.
goldy-dollar and mrv3000, you have totally ruined me. ;) Thank you.
10. This is just like in real life, where men just carry your bags because they feel like they have to. On the one hand, it makes you feel guilty, but on the other hand, HAHAHAHAHA I WAS REALLY HOPING YOU'D DO THAT BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO CARRY THAT BAG LOLOLO.
11. "But you asked me." Aww. Donna. For the first time I relate to her.
12. She didn't make the snide comment that things had to be kind of complicated if you couldn't say someone's name without crying, eh?
HAHAHA I JUST THOUGHT OF THE DOCTOR AND MARTHA HAVING "IT'S COMPLICATED" ON FACEBOOK AND THEN I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
Oh. My. God.
(okay, i'm really excited for pompeii. LOLO volcano day!!!)
I mean, seriously, OH MY GOD. Why does Rose look so sad? Why isn't she telling anybody she's there? And how is Sylvia ever going to find her car?
Thank God I stopped clicking spoiler cuts two weeks ago. I've never had an experience like this with TV before. I literally burst into tears just to see her. THEY ARE SO CLEVER. THEY ARE SUCH CLEVER BASTARDS.
I'M GOING BACK TO WATCH IT AGAIN.
Oh my God, it's really season four and I saw Rose. I SAW HER. Now to make sure it was real I'm going to go read all your posts. OH MY GOD IT WAS ROSE, I WANT TO HOLD HER SO MUCH. WHY DID THEY PLAY THE DOOMSDAY MUSIC THEY ARE EVIL. ARE THEY SERIOUSLY GOING TO MAKE US WAIT UNTIL EPISODE 11 TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT WAS. PAST EUROVISION AND EVERYTHING. I THINK I MIGHT KILL MYSELF.
Rose has to know the Doctor's there. It was in her eyes. OH MY GOD, HOW DID SHE GET BACK. WHERE IS PETE.
I think I might die. I think I might honestly die. That was unbelievable.
I saw Rose. I'm not going to be able to think about anything else today. Oh my God. FINE, RUSTY. YOU WIN THIS ONE.
ETA: So now I went back a couple more times, and now that my brain is functioning I could hear the Doctor and Donna's brief conversation in the TARDIS afterwards.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAW ROSE. OH MY GOD.
Anyway, Doctor, Donna, please start arguing about the thermostat. PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE. Oscar and Angela. "Maybe some people like it a little warmer ... I don't care." AAAH.
I saw Rose. I saw her. God, I want to know what's happened to her. They are much cleverer than I gave them credit for, much cleverer.
And I can't help but point out the whole "Billie Piper will appear in 3 episodes!" thing ... um, so does this count as one of them? Because if it does THAT IS THE CHEAPEST SHIT EVER. And I don't think I will be able to stand it for the next few weeks without her. And. And. Andandand.
Okay, I'm ten minutes into (new ;) ) New Who, and I just have to ask: What the fuck is WITH this guy?! What is WITH him? Russell is so fucking goddamn WEIRD. "Why don't I make the pilot about what would happen if people's unwanted fat turned into cute globule-creatures and walked away?! HOW EXCITING!" Really, THAT?! Out of ALL the things that could be the pilot?! (I guess out of that and the filming budget. But seriously, what with the stuff Top Gear does, I pretty much think the BBC has about unlimited money. Just steal a car from Jeremy, James, and Richard, Russell, and then set a freaking episode in space. AND NOT BY A FAKE BLACK HOLE. GOD.)
What in the Jesus is WRONG with him?! I'm not sure if he's a genius or a total mediocre crackpot. All I know is, his limited and wide-eyed "knowledge" of science frustrates me, and ... I want whatever he's taking.
Maybe it's good to have someone so goddamn weird running Who. Writing: the only job where your performance is enhanced by being certifiably insane.
And was it entirely necessary for them to show up at the beginning of the workday and then sit in the bathroom/closet until 5/6 p.m.? Seriously? Did either of them bring a book? I didn't see one. And in Donna's case, that is certainly bad for your back. I would have gotten bored and ... of course, HUNGRY. It's kind of gross to eat in a bathroom, even if we all had to do it in middle school when the pretty girls made fun of us for being nerds who liked to watch Doctor Who.
But that is neither here nor there. More stream-of-consciousness thoughts:
1. "I had this one day with you, and I was gonna change, I was gonna do so much ... and then I woke up the next morning. Same old life."
See, there are so many better ways to say that. What if this was the line?
"... and then I woke up the next morning. Laundry still needed done. Hundreds of messages on my answerphone from angry wedding guests. [Did they die? Must check "The Runaway Bride." Yeah, not married to the idea of watching that one again, I can tell you. I suppose I should find it heartening that even after "The Runaway Bride" we could have "Human Nature" and "Blink."]"
I mean, we already know what she's going to say, since Who beats us with its cariacature diatribes. Why not at least make it pretty? Inspire some thought?
2. Since when do restaurants have cat flaps?
3. Look, Beeb, everybody else [read: America] has been doing CGI for years. You've got to stop expecting us to be impressed that you can show us things that aren't there. We get the idea; we don't need a ten-minute montage of your effect! (Joss Whedon would understand that. Graphics people are creative minds and like all creative minds they must be shut down!) I can just see the CGI team at the BBC: "Oooooh, lookie! I can make the world look like it's being taken over by these cute little fat creatures I drew in SketchUp yesterday! How cooooooool!"
When are people going to prioritize, at least in season premieres, the fact that it's not special effects or sheer weirdness that mesmerizes viewers, it's ideas? Ideas. Like when the Doctor and Rose stood in a whirling circle of London citizens with mind-controlling totalitarian headpieces. Like the incredible raw fear of what it would be like to have your loved ones suddenly walk out of your house and to the highest point around, to stand on the edge ... and the unfortunate irony that in fact you had nothing to be afraid of because it was impossible to induce suicide via blood control. Like the horror that the Doctor could not even recognize Martha or use his own immense power to save them from any situation or -- or worse, the fact that he wouldn't remember that he could never use a gun?
(Okay, that one, I might honestly have to check on, because Tom Baker totally beat up some people. I was like, "!!!! TOM!!!!" I think Leela made him violent. And I don't mean that in a "every time a man has a flaw it's because there's some evil woman behind it" kind of way (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA as if), but in a "Leela's violence kept achieving really, really useful ends and he kind of felt impotent for always trying to wriggle out of things with pure silliness, so he desperately wanted to impress her" way. Anyway. Point is. Ideas are the scary bit, and convincing acting, not your second-rate special effects, because if we wanted special effects we'd watch Armageddon, and yours just pain us, but obviously we DON'T want to be watching Armageddon because we're watching Doctor Who. I do go on.)
4. "Doctor. WHAT. DO. YOU. NEED?!" That is the best "stop gibbering about human inferiority and give me a fucking chance to prove myself, you sod" from any New Who companion yet. Donna, we can be friends.
(Well, actually, I decided we could be friends after: "Donna, hold on!" "I AM!" That was fucking amazing. She is truly the antithesis of romance. Clearly that's why she was a perfect casting choice in "The Runaway Bride." Which is weird considering when I first watched "The Runaway Bride" -- before I knew how funny she could be on her own show -- I hated her.)
5. This is supposed to be a kids' show. Right. Right. Okay, I take back some of number 3 because Rusty is probably right that all every British five-year-old wanted yesterday was a big shot of a spaceship. But still.
6. HAHAHAHA. I fucking love that. Where did that even come from. "Before we go back to the mothership, kids, let's have a National Socialist rally on the street!"
7. Was that a shout-out to Mad Martha? Do they know? THANK YOU FOR ALL THE TORRENTS!
8. "Actually, as a diet plan it sorta works." <-- That's just what I was thinking.
9. Dude, David Tennant looked so TRAGIC, and then it turned out he was just worried about someone asking him out again. I thought he was going to do the "Losing Rose Has Made Me Uncontrollably Paranoid About Losing People I Love So I Have Decided Not To Love Anybody" speech. But instead he ... said she couldn't come if she was going to flirt with him all the time. Which is assy, but now that I think of it, thank Jesus Russell finally made a female character honestly not attracted to the Doctor. I think I'm going to like who Donna's going to become. I see her sipping hot chocolate, deep in the TARDIS kitchens, while the Doctor gulps champagne and sobs about how Rose's sweater doesn't smell like her anymore.
goldy-dollar and mrv3000, you have totally ruined me. ;) Thank you.
10. This is just like in real life, where men just carry your bags because they feel like they have to. On the one hand, it makes you feel guilty, but on the other hand, HAHAHAHAHA I WAS REALLY HOPING YOU'D DO THAT BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO CARRY THAT BAG LOLOLO.
11. "But you asked me." Aww. Donna. For the first time I relate to her.
12. She didn't make the snide comment that things had to be kind of complicated if you couldn't say someone's name without crying, eh?
HAHAHA I JUST THOUGHT OF THE DOCTOR AND MARTHA HAVING "IT'S COMPLICATED" ON FACEBOOK AND THEN I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
Oh. My. God.
(okay, i'm really excited for pompeii. LOLO volcano day!!!)
I mean, seriously, OH MY GOD. Why does Rose look so sad? Why isn't she telling anybody she's there? And how is Sylvia ever going to find her car?
Thank God I stopped clicking spoiler cuts two weeks ago. I've never had an experience like this with TV before. I literally burst into tears just to see her. THEY ARE SO CLEVER. THEY ARE SUCH CLEVER BASTARDS.
I'M GOING BACK TO WATCH IT AGAIN.
Oh my God, it's really season four and I saw Rose. I SAW HER. Now to make sure it was real I'm going to go read all your posts. OH MY GOD IT WAS ROSE, I WANT TO HOLD HER SO MUCH. WHY DID THEY PLAY THE DOOMSDAY MUSIC THEY ARE EVIL. ARE THEY SERIOUSLY GOING TO MAKE US WAIT UNTIL EPISODE 11 TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT WAS. PAST EUROVISION AND EVERYTHING. I THINK I MIGHT KILL MYSELF.
Rose has to know the Doctor's there. It was in her eyes. OH MY GOD, HOW DID SHE GET BACK. WHERE IS PETE.
I think I might die. I think I might honestly die. That was unbelievable.
I saw Rose. I'm not going to be able to think about anything else today. Oh my God. FINE, RUSTY. YOU WIN THIS ONE.
ETA: So now I went back a couple more times, and now that my brain is functioning I could hear the Doctor and Donna's brief conversation in the TARDIS afterwards.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAW ROSE. OH MY GOD.
Anyway, Doctor, Donna, please start arguing about the thermostat. PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE. Oscar and Angela. "Maybe some people like it a little warmer ... I don't care." AAAH.
I saw Rose. I saw her. God, I want to know what's happened to her. They are much cleverer than I gave them credit for, much cleverer.
And I can't help but point out the whole "Billie Piper will appear in 3 episodes!" thing ... um, so does this count as one of them? Because if it does THAT IS THE CHEAPEST SHIT EVER. And I don't think I will be able to stand it for the next few weeks without her. And. And. Andandand.