Discipline and parental relationship
This is aimed at two-parent households, really. Do you have a disciplinary parent and a non-disciplinary parent? What do you do? How does it work?
Today, L asked me for something, I refused, and she turned to Daddy and said "Maybe Daddy will let me." I gave him the evil eye and he refused too, but I know that this sort of thing happens all the time. We discuss and agree on rules - eating in the kitchen or dining room only, no television before x o'clock, no drawing on the walls, no hitting people, no stabbing people in the legs with forks - and he just forgets, entirely, to impose them. Or he imposes them half-heartedly, saying "No, no, no," while allowing the child to hit him on the head with a brick.
Is there a simple way to eliminate the need for the non-primary-carer parent to ever impose discipline? Is there an easy way to help him remember to do it? It makes him feel like a big meanie, especially when (as L has learned) L screams. Screaming now officially sometimes works, as a getyourownway mechanism. I really enjoy this when out performing essential household errands with the two children.
I sympathise with his desire not to be a big meanie, but I don't know how to work around it. As things stand, I spend Monday re-enforcing the weekly discipline, and then, usually, on Tue-Fri I have two well-behaved children I can take almost anywhere. A train trip is useful to start the week as L understands that good behaviour on a small platform or in a crowded station is a matter of safety rather than just adult whim, so it starts a good habit and gets us both into a good mood.
Suggestions, anecdata, advice?
Today, L asked me for something, I refused, and she turned to Daddy and said "Maybe Daddy will let me." I gave him the evil eye and he refused too, but I know that this sort of thing happens all the time. We discuss and agree on rules - eating in the kitchen or dining room only, no television before x o'clock, no drawing on the walls, no hitting people, no stabbing people in the legs with forks - and he just forgets, entirely, to impose them. Or he imposes them half-heartedly, saying "No, no, no," while allowing the child to hit him on the head with a brick.
Is there a simple way to eliminate the need for the non-primary-carer parent to ever impose discipline? Is there an easy way to help him remember to do it? It makes him feel like a big meanie, especially when (as L has learned) L screams. Screaming now officially sometimes works, as a getyourownway mechanism. I really enjoy this when out performing essential household errands with the two children.
I sympathise with his desire not to be a big meanie, but I don't know how to work around it. As things stand, I spend Monday re-enforcing the weekly discipline, and then, usually, on Tue-Fri I have two well-behaved children I can take almost anywhere. A train trip is useful to start the week as L understands that good behaviour on a small platform or in a crowded station is a matter of safety rather than just adult whim, so it starts a good habit and gets us both into a good mood.
Suggestions, anecdata, advice?