finding that little girl again
Today, I spent some time going through my room and I uncovered a treasure trove of memories, moments, and secrets. Quietly tucked in the corner, hidden amongst textbooks, I found a dusty old tin box, filled with the pieces of 'jewellry' I had when I was a little girl. I remember buying this glittery butterfly necklace in M&S, London that I adored and would wear every single day, and those 'plastic-y' necklaces daddy used to buy me from his trips back, I think one of them was a MaryKate&AshleyOlsen item. Oooo, and how could I forget those beaded bracelets that you could layer on your arm, or those intricately woven friendship bracelets? Or the shell earrings that Mommy got for me in Bali?
But the most precious one would be the trinklet that my parents bought for me from Perlini's silver (I think I was Pri 3 that time). It's the most delicate little bracelet with 5 little hearts dangling from it, each charm a different color, painted with a tiny flower on it. I loved it, and I remember proudly wearing it out and I guess it was the first time that mommy/daddy actually told me that I'm going to be a big girl now. I used to feel like such a 'grown up' when I wore it. Heh. I want to be able to pass all these little things to my very own little girl one day, and watch her smile and gaze around with the same wonder I had when I was young.
I guess unexpectedly finding those little tokens of love, from my parents and my childhood makes me realise how vastly different things are now. I miss having a good relationship with my parents, being their little girl, being daddy's little girl. I miss the days where we'd spend QT as a family, being able to tell them everything from how my day in school went to the horrible teacher that was mean to me. I really, really, miss those days ): I hate fighting with them, the yelling, the screaming, the accusations, the tears and the fears. These past few weeks/months have been so exhausting and part of me wonders when the war will ever end? Maybe, finding this bracelet is not just a coincidence, maybe it's a sign that I should start working on mending the relationship I have with my parents. Parent management skills. Or it could just be a reminder that, no matter what I do, they will always be my parents, and I will love them, regardless. And I should remember all the times they were there for me, and all the love they've given me.