So...yeah...i'm pretty stressed!
I feel like there is just not enough time in the day or that there are not enough days in the week! Here is my schedule from last week:
Sunday- went to bed at 5am
Monday- 3am
Tuesday-5am
Wednesday-11pm (I had to take a break!!)
Thursday-5am
Friday and Saturday i took off...because Justin came down and football game on saturday
Tonight...well it's 3:30am right now and I could see myself pulling an all nighter. Hopefully not...but I could see it happening.
It is just so frustrating!! I stay up late almost every night so that I wouldn't have to stay up late tonight and it doesn't even matter!! I just feel so depressed because I don't even get much time with other people...yet alone myself!!
And of course all of this stress caused me to have a break down and of course it has to be at band practice! The assistant band director (i really do not like him) was conducting and told the band something which I didn't hear at the time and then a clarinet player asks him to repeat it and the director of course spoke even softer and tells this one clarinet player what he said...so of course I didn't hear him so i'm like ok well w/e. So he starts to conduct and i'm playing along with 3 other clarinet players that also didn't hear him. and what he told the band was that there would be 8 measures of percussion only. So he stops the band and says "I told you twice that the percussion would play first and you still play." I was just so fucking pissed/stressed/sleep deprived that I started to cry. The reason I cried had nothing to do really with what he said...it was mainly because I was stressed! I didn't want to stand there and be told i screwed up when it really wasn't even my fault!! If he would have spoken up we all would have heard him! He is such an awful director too! He is constantly screwing up like that and blames us! So of course everyone asks me what's wrong and it's so embarrassing! But it did feel good to cry. Just to let out my frustration!
I just feel so much like a zombie...school, food, and projects!! That's all my life consists of now.
The games are fun, but they are so exhausting! I've thought about quitting marching band so many times. My Saturdays are completely gone because of it. Luckily, we don't have a game next weekend and I hear our friday practice is canceled and Justin isn't coming that weekend. So hopefully that means less stress and more time to do projects!
I just want this semester to be over!
Sunday- went to bed at 5am
Monday- 3am
Tuesday-5am
Wednesday-11pm (I had to take a break!!)
Thursday-5am
Friday and Saturday i took off...because Justin came down and football game on saturday
Tonight...well it's 3:30am right now and I could see myself pulling an all nighter. Hopefully not...but I could see it happening.
It is just so frustrating!! I stay up late almost every night so that I wouldn't have to stay up late tonight and it doesn't even matter!! I just feel so depressed because I don't even get much time with other people...yet alone myself!!
And of course all of this stress caused me to have a break down and of course it has to be at band practice! The assistant band director (i really do not like him) was conducting and told the band something which I didn't hear at the time and then a clarinet player asks him to repeat it and the director of course spoke even softer and tells this one clarinet player what he said...so of course I didn't hear him so i'm like ok well w/e. So he starts to conduct and i'm playing along with 3 other clarinet players that also didn't hear him. and what he told the band was that there would be 8 measures of percussion only. So he stops the band and says "I told you twice that the percussion would play first and you still play." I was just so fucking pissed/stressed/sleep deprived that I started to cry. The reason I cried had nothing to do really with what he said...it was mainly because I was stressed! I didn't want to stand there and be told i screwed up when it really wasn't even my fault!! If he would have spoken up we all would have heard him! He is such an awful director too! He is constantly screwing up like that and blames us! So of course everyone asks me what's wrong and it's so embarrassing! But it did feel good to cry. Just to let out my frustration!
I just feel so much like a zombie...school, food, and projects!! That's all my life consists of now.
The games are fun, but they are so exhausting! I've thought about quitting marching band so many times. My Saturdays are completely gone because of it. Luckily, we don't have a game next weekend and I hear our friday practice is canceled and Justin isn't coming that weekend. So hopefully that means less stress and more time to do projects!
I just want this semester to be over!