snow day--no school
still grounded. just got done talkin to jeremy and reading his journal. i really miss him... as a friend. things are changing. its not the same. whenever im with him i want to b close to him like i always have been. i want to b able to tell him anything and laugh with him about absolutely nothing just like we used to. now whenever i spend time with him, theres this underlying sadness between the two of us. i kno hes unhappy and that makes me unhappy. whenever hes mad, im mad. whenever hes sad, im sad. whenever hes happy, im happy too. whatever he happens to b feeling kinda reflects onto me in a way. its weird. right now hes upset and i am too. i just want to go to bed, but then im prolly gonna dream about it. this is starting to drive me crazy. i have all these mixed emotions lately. like yesterday i was sooo happy, but today i feel absolutely hopeless. is this normal? do i have some kind of disorder? i really hope im not losing my mind or something. i really need jeremy around. he makes everything better. i miss those times when we used to b able to b completely retarded around eachother and have a great time, not caring what anyone else thought about it. thats not there anymore. i want it to b tho. i want him to still talk to me and laugh with me like before. i want him to still b my bestfriend and show it. i want him to b happy. i should want him to move on, but i kno that when he finally does, its gonna break my heart. i dont want to think about that right now. i mean, im with sony. why should i care wat jeremy does with his life right? god, i really wish i actually felt that way. i still feel so close to him. is that wrong? i still kinda need him. i dont really kno wat to do without him. he helps me get thru a lot. he knows more about me than anyone else does cuz hes been here for more of it than most ppl have. i tell him things i that i would never dream about telling anyone else besides like my counselor. ok katie, stop thinking about this!
anywayz....
last night me, randi, josh, and sony all walked thru the freezing snow and ice to gmas house to play pool in her basement for a few hours. it wasnt too exciting so we all came back here for a while till sony and josh had to leave. kevin doesnt like josh, but josh really wants him to so while kevin was gone last night, josh shoveld all the snow out of the walk way, kevins side of the driveway, and he even made a path from the back door to the garage. kevin didnt get home till early this morning tho cuz he was doing work for the city and it had all snowed over again. randi told kevin what josh had done for him but kevin didnt seem to care and he went outside and re-shoveld it all again. at least josh tried.
sony wants me to meet his parents sometime after i get grounded. thats gonna b interesting considering the fact that niether one of them speak a word of english and they still dont want sony having a girlfriend. im not too thrilled about it, but i kno its a good idea for them to at least find out that i exist.
k, well, thats all for now. i think i might go take a shower. ill definitely write some more later.
anywayz....
last night me, randi, josh, and sony all walked thru the freezing snow and ice to gmas house to play pool in her basement for a few hours. it wasnt too exciting so we all came back here for a while till sony and josh had to leave. kevin doesnt like josh, but josh really wants him to so while kevin was gone last night, josh shoveld all the snow out of the walk way, kevins side of the driveway, and he even made a path from the back door to the garage. kevin didnt get home till early this morning tho cuz he was doing work for the city and it had all snowed over again. randi told kevin what josh had done for him but kevin didnt seem to care and he went outside and re-shoveld it all again. at least josh tried.
sony wants me to meet his parents sometime after i get grounded. thats gonna b interesting considering the fact that niether one of them speak a word of english and they still dont want sony having a girlfriend. im not too thrilled about it, but i kno its a good idea for them to at least find out that i exist.
k, well, thats all for now. i think i might go take a shower. ill definitely write some more later.