solo flight
day 2 at the hospital.
day 2 and i've already had a good number of people react to the fact that i am alone in my room. no boyfriend/husband.no relative. no "bantay". no one with me, not even a single human being aside from me in my room. to help me get up, to help me go to the bathroom, to help me eat, to keep me company. i am all alone.
so i was thinking, is it that unusual to have no one when one is actually confined in a hospital? some of them, if not all of them, i think, feel sorry for me. my doctor, upon learning that i was there on my own, couldn't believe there was no one with me for my procedure. while waiting to "deliver" at the labor room, she practically begged for me to go get a "bantay". when i told her i didn't need one, she said she needed one for me. she needed someone to give updates to about me. so, i called my office and then her wish was granted.
now, again, i am in my room and thinking: "do i really need someone because i need someone, or do i need someone so that people around me will feel/be okay, knowing that there is someone taking care of me and that someone is actually with me?"
i'm used to being alone, without an SO. officially it's been 11 years. there were "feather" fillers...temporary, fleeting fillers. nothing or no one permanent. honestly, semi-permanent fillers would have been nice - you know, those relationships that eventually turn out to be too good to be true, true love that is only true for the moment.
hm. or were there feather fillers? maybe...unfortunately, or fortunately.
day 2 and i've already had a good number of people react to the fact that i am alone in my room. no boyfriend/husband.no relative. no "bantay". no one with me, not even a single human being aside from me in my room. to help me get up, to help me go to the bathroom, to help me eat, to keep me company. i am all alone.
so i was thinking, is it that unusual to have no one when one is actually confined in a hospital? some of them, if not all of them, i think, feel sorry for me. my doctor, upon learning that i was there on my own, couldn't believe there was no one with me for my procedure. while waiting to "deliver" at the labor room, she practically begged for me to go get a "bantay". when i told her i didn't need one, she said she needed one for me. she needed someone to give updates to about me. so, i called my office and then her wish was granted.
now, again, i am in my room and thinking: "do i really need someone because i need someone, or do i need someone so that people around me will feel/be okay, knowing that there is someone taking care of me and that someone is actually with me?"
i'm used to being alone, without an SO. officially it's been 11 years. there were "feather" fillers...temporary, fleeting fillers. nothing or no one permanent. honestly, semi-permanent fillers would have been nice - you know, those relationships that eventually turn out to be too good to be true, true love that is only true for the moment.
hm. or were there feather fillers? maybe...unfortunately, or fortunately.