(no subject)
Today was a day that needed to be quiet. I spent most of my time alone doing math homework, reading, and a lot of the time just thinking. There’s a couple people in particular who were on my mind today. Well last night and this morning I was thinking of Becky. It was one of those times when I needed to spend the night at her house and realized I live 5 hours away. It was bad and I missed her a lot. I talked to her on the phone and didn’t feel so alone because we talked about how often that happens to us both. We talked about our relationship and I realized how unique and irreplaceable it was. It hurts that I can’t be with her when I need to. It’s so different now that I’m gone. We don’t get the time we need together, everything’s so rushed when I’m back for the weekend. I’m hoping we’ll have some more time together over Christmas, I’m really starting to miss being with her. I also started thinking about Nic today. I wanted to just sit down and talk to him today. There’s something about talking to him that is so good for me. When I talk to him he understands certain things that no one else does. He thinks differently than other people do and his perspective on everything is just indescribable. Our conversations have always meant something to me. I can remember talks we had an entire year ago. His words never fade in my mind. I’m thinking about writing him a letter. I might feel a little weird about it though. I just want to talk to him because I feel like he, above all people, would understand what’s going on in my life. He always has. There’s a certain level that we meet at, a common ground I can’t find with other people, and I feel like I need to be standing there with him right now. I also want to be able to keep in touch with him so maybe we can write when he goes away. I don’t want to lose him completely when he moves to Ireland next year. I am rambling on forever. What good is getting all of this out in a live journal, I should be writing to him. Besides, it’s too loud out here. I need to go back to the silence.