Wait, was she being serious or sarcastic? 'Cause if she's being serious, that's pretty much the worst advice I've ever heard. 10 out of 10 therapists agree that social isolation is bad for you.
The idea that you won't get hurt if you don't have friends or lovers is an illusion. Being alone is just a death of a thousand cuts instead of one big one. Never loving is not a way to avoid hurt. It's a way to avoid joy.
Famous but appropriate CS Lewis quote that sprang to mind: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
Wow. While I have to admit I have often seen the sharp edge, the danger of losing someone I care, and more fear the more I care, I am sorry to hear your mother's advice. Will read your MLK thing when my brain is better.....of ever.
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The idea that you won't get hurt if you don't have friends or lovers is an illusion. Being alone is just a death of a thousand cuts instead of one big one. Never loving is not a way to avoid hurt. It's a way to avoid joy.
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