The Power of Language
This isn't an easy post to write, because I know I might piss some people off. Hell, given the way things are going, maybe this is like waving a red flag. Or not... the way I so often qualify things.
Anyone with a flist probably has seen (by now) at least one post on the LJ suspensions and possibly has heard about one of the organisations purportedly involved.
The more I read about this "organisation", the more it scares me. Are we really back to the point of 'monster hunting'? If so, then we're in big trouble. Basically, by monster hunting, we're actually wandering into a fantasy-land and ignoring the destruction going on around us.
Human predators are not monsters.
Because, you see, monsters are easy to spot. Monsters have big fangs, or huge claws (maybe even dripping in blood), or freaky eyes. Monsters look different.
Human predators on the other hand, do not look different. They don't glow in the dark, they're not necessarily skeevy looking, even. For every predator that stands out as 'creepy', there are hundreds more that you'd never suspect. In her book The Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule admits to having left her daughter in Ted Bundy's care. Do you think she, or any sane mother on the planet, would have done that if he was so clearly different from the rest of us?
Sure, in hindsight, it's easy to say that he was different... after all, he murdered and raped women for years, and normal people don't do that. But there were no blinky signs around him saying 'psychopath' or 'serial killer'.
It's comforting to think predators are different, but the hard truth is that they're not. They get dressed like us, they go to work like us, they wash their cars like us; they do almost everything just like us. Something just got fucked up in either their genetic, moral, or social code (or perhaps all three), and there is one aspect of their lives that is not like ours. In public, though (and that includes online), they walk and talk just like the rest of us. They know what and what not to say, probably better than the rest of us. There's a huge outcry over the LJ deletions, and I can almost guarantee none of the people upset is a true predator. Why? Because the real predators, the smart ones, know how to handle stuff like this.
They aren't going to yell and scream and draw attention to themselves, they're going to cut their losses and walk away. They're going to say 'how did I get caught?', and next time, they're not going to do things the same way. And there will be a next time, because the only thing that has been attacked is that online identity, and since it's fake, then so what? They'll move onto the next one. They're good at that. They're used to that.
No, I don't condone the actions of predators, or even sympathise with them. What I also don't sympathise with is using language that leads to false expectations of security, and the thought that if we just shine the light on these people (and yes, they are people... that is the point I'm making), that -- like monsters -- they'll shrivel up and die.
Because they won't. Shine a light on an online predator and all they're going to do is laugh at you and find someone else to talk to. They aren't afraid of you. The really bad ones? Aren't really afraid of anything.
And maybe 'predator' isn't a good word, either (fangs, anyone?), but essentially, that's what humans are. We have a predator's eyes (front of the head, can spot both moving and still forms), a predator's teeth (check it out... your canines really do have points). Sexual and violent predators are simply willing to prey on their own species.
I wish they really were 'monsters'. I wish we really could easily spot them and keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. I wish they really could be easily scared into behaving, but they can't.
Painting them as monsters only makes it easier for them to hide. They can point and say 'see, I don't look like that' and by the time we turn around from our reflexive check, they're gone to play with someone else.
At that point, what the hell did we accomplish?
Anyone with a flist probably has seen (by now) at least one post on the LJ suspensions and possibly has heard about one of the organisations purportedly involved.
The more I read about this "organisation", the more it scares me. Are we really back to the point of 'monster hunting'? If so, then we're in big trouble. Basically, by monster hunting, we're actually wandering into a fantasy-land and ignoring the destruction going on around us.
Human predators are not monsters.
Because, you see, monsters are easy to spot. Monsters have big fangs, or huge claws (maybe even dripping in blood), or freaky eyes. Monsters look different.
Human predators on the other hand, do not look different. They don't glow in the dark, they're not necessarily skeevy looking, even. For every predator that stands out as 'creepy', there are hundreds more that you'd never suspect. In her book The Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule admits to having left her daughter in Ted Bundy's care. Do you think she, or any sane mother on the planet, would have done that if he was so clearly different from the rest of us?
Sure, in hindsight, it's easy to say that he was different... after all, he murdered and raped women for years, and normal people don't do that. But there were no blinky signs around him saying 'psychopath' or 'serial killer'.
It's comforting to think predators are different, but the hard truth is that they're not. They get dressed like us, they go to work like us, they wash their cars like us; they do almost everything just like us. Something just got fucked up in either their genetic, moral, or social code (or perhaps all three), and there is one aspect of their lives that is not like ours. In public, though (and that includes online), they walk and talk just like the rest of us. They know what and what not to say, probably better than the rest of us. There's a huge outcry over the LJ deletions, and I can almost guarantee none of the people upset is a true predator. Why? Because the real predators, the smart ones, know how to handle stuff like this.
They aren't going to yell and scream and draw attention to themselves, they're going to cut their losses and walk away. They're going to say 'how did I get caught?', and next time, they're not going to do things the same way. And there will be a next time, because the only thing that has been attacked is that online identity, and since it's fake, then so what? They'll move onto the next one. They're good at that. They're used to that.
No, I don't condone the actions of predators, or even sympathise with them. What I also don't sympathise with is using language that leads to false expectations of security, and the thought that if we just shine the light on these people (and yes, they are people... that is the point I'm making), that -- like monsters -- they'll shrivel up and die.
Because they won't. Shine a light on an online predator and all they're going to do is laugh at you and find someone else to talk to. They aren't afraid of you. The really bad ones? Aren't really afraid of anything.
And maybe 'predator' isn't a good word, either (fangs, anyone?), but essentially, that's what humans are. We have a predator's eyes (front of the head, can spot both moving and still forms), a predator's teeth (check it out... your canines really do have points). Sexual and violent predators are simply willing to prey on their own species.
I wish they really were 'monsters'. I wish we really could easily spot them and keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. I wish they really could be easily scared into behaving, but they can't.
Painting them as monsters only makes it easier for them to hide. They can point and say 'see, I don't look like that' and by the time we turn around from our reflexive check, they're gone to play with someone else.
At that point, what the hell did we accomplish?