Back to neverneverland I go.

[pixie_girl]

I have a feeling of falling. Like if I waver, even the slightest, I might just fall off whatever this is that I'm on and I wonder who would be there to pull me back up. I've stopped caring about anything that doesn't directly involve my acedemic career. I'm looking through a very long, dank, dark tunnel and have a sneaking suspision that I'm not going to like what I find at the end. I'm going to graduate next quarter and I don't even know what I want to do with myself. Anything I want to do seems out of my reach or I seem to be the only one who believes that I can do it. I give up. Someone decide for me. What will Courtney be when she grows up. Because the honest truth is that I havent. I feel like I'm just playing at being a grownup and at any time someone will realize that I don't have all the answers, I make them up. The reality I design is much nicer than the one that is and I don't ever really want to "start my life". Hasn't it already started? What the hell were the first twenty two years for? What the hell am I going to do for the next twenty two. Who knows. Coffee awaits.

PS: To Messie Jessie: I am joining your gym tomarrow, where is it?