Wake, Babies, and Flossing
I went to my Grandmother T's wake at around five, the whole day I spent cleaning for guests that weren't coming over. I cleaned my tub with comet but I have to re-clean the actual tub, the shower part was fine, Meh.
Shaun and I cleaned up the boys, threw our clothes on and took off. It was strange because Auntie ( who usually is very strong and slightly scary) looked scared and fragile. Amanda's daughter ( Stephany, Amanda is my childhood friend who got pregnant at a young age strange huh?) Haylee was running around charming the adults until she took their keys. Shaun fell in love with her and was she loved cooing at him. I know he's going to be a perfect dad just I don't know how well of a husband he will be.
Grandma didn't look like herself, the put her in make-up ( which she never wore) but atleast she was wearing her favorite animal print shirt. The floral bits on the coffin and every where else were fall themed, and the almost empty room smelled to sweet. I hate wakes. I always have. When I die, I don't want a wake, I just want a huge party were everyone laughs, drinks and dances. I would hate to think anyone would be sad that I died, I would want them to know that I was in a better place. But dying is the last thing I have on my mind, hopefully death is a long ways away. :D
About the flossing: I just flossed my teeth and now my gums hurt. Poops! I hope my teeth are ok, I need to get them cleaned. Haha right before Halloween too. Oh and even worse? My wisdom teeth are coming in. They've budded so when I touch them I can feel their points, it hurts!
I'm really worried about Natalie. Her Mom's begin a bitch and she's been super depressed lately. Even her car tired blew out. That must have been scary. I can't think how that would feel. I know what begin depressed is like. It's physically painful, it's heart wrenching, it's the most difficult thing to get over and understand. I wish I could help but all I could give her were a few spell tips and a ritual.
I also did my first spell in months. I hadn't done one in so long because I have been questioning the faith in myself as well as the faith I had in the goddess. When I performed the spell for my Grandmother I felt like a great tension lifted off of my shoulders. As the candles burned I felt safe, warm and true. I wish my mother, of all the people to understand, would get how wicca makes me feel. But she's so wrapped up inside herself and her own wills. She called me self-absorbed today, and it hurt so much I wanted to scream at her. She doesn't get that the nasty little quips she puts our are harmful. People who read this, who don't know my life or her, will think I'm whining. You can't know what she says to me every day. Here at home, it's my own special hell. There are only a few people I share this with. I just let everyone else believe I'm happy, blessed and loved. When really all I want to do is run away to where I'm safe. Wicca shields me, the goddess keeps me safe. I know that I have the goddess and My father on my side.
At least I have my father.
Shaun and I cleaned up the boys, threw our clothes on and took off. It was strange because Auntie ( who usually is very strong and slightly scary) looked scared and fragile. Amanda's daughter ( Stephany, Amanda is my childhood friend who got pregnant at a young age strange huh?) Haylee was running around charming the adults until she took their keys. Shaun fell in love with her and was she loved cooing at him. I know he's going to be a perfect dad just I don't know how well of a husband he will be.
Grandma didn't look like herself, the put her in make-up ( which she never wore) but atleast she was wearing her favorite animal print shirt. The floral bits on the coffin and every where else were fall themed, and the almost empty room smelled to sweet. I hate wakes. I always have. When I die, I don't want a wake, I just want a huge party were everyone laughs, drinks and dances. I would hate to think anyone would be sad that I died, I would want them to know that I was in a better place. But dying is the last thing I have on my mind, hopefully death is a long ways away. :D
About the flossing: I just flossed my teeth and now my gums hurt. Poops! I hope my teeth are ok, I need to get them cleaned. Haha right before Halloween too. Oh and even worse? My wisdom teeth are coming in. They've budded so when I touch them I can feel their points, it hurts!
I'm really worried about Natalie. Her Mom's begin a bitch and she's been super depressed lately. Even her car tired blew out. That must have been scary. I can't think how that would feel. I know what begin depressed is like. It's physically painful, it's heart wrenching, it's the most difficult thing to get over and understand. I wish I could help but all I could give her were a few spell tips and a ritual.
I also did my first spell in months. I hadn't done one in so long because I have been questioning the faith in myself as well as the faith I had in the goddess. When I performed the spell for my Grandmother I felt like a great tension lifted off of my shoulders. As the candles burned I felt safe, warm and true. I wish my mother, of all the people to understand, would get how wicca makes me feel. But she's so wrapped up inside herself and her own wills. She called me self-absorbed today, and it hurt so much I wanted to scream at her. She doesn't get that the nasty little quips she puts our are harmful. People who read this, who don't know my life or her, will think I'm whining. You can't know what she says to me every day. Here at home, it's my own special hell. There are only a few people I share this with. I just let everyone else believe I'm happy, blessed and loved. When really all I want to do is run away to where I'm safe. Wicca shields me, the goddess keeps me safe. I know that I have the goddess and My father on my side.
At least I have my father.