It is interesting and quite fitting that right now I am reading a novel by Jose Saramago (uncertain of origin, although he has that edge-of-Europe feel that suggests Spain) called "Blindness", in which people are afflicted by a sudden-onset seemingly contagious affliction that strikes them blind-- not the blindness of absolute darkness, but the blindness of only being able to see white, pure white, like 360 degrees of snow. I wonder, my little lost one, what you will see when you return to Raleigh that you haven't been able to see before, and what you will think when you return to find yourself not-quite-an-alien in your own home turf. travel changes us, we all know that. It will be interesting to see if your behavior patterns follow the same trends, or if, as one of my more brilliant profs at SLC suggested once, by knowing another culture you will have grown a new soul. I would like to say that all will be positive, cherries and autumn and long talks and new ways to bond, but I am also sure that it will be difficult. It's hard to come back to America, to see so much waste, so much willful ignorance, so much blazing stupidity and cultural narcissism and so much potential blindly thrown away. I am curious, too, after not having seen you in the flesh for many years, after many years of wanting very much to see you in person and hold you in my arms and pass many hours with long talks and snuggling and good booze and food and proper time together, I'm wondering (because an Ogre is always a cynic) if you will be true to your word and come visit sunny Florida, or if that will remain, like so much in this world and in this culture, a nice fantasy that never comes in to land....
enjoy your last bit of time in Mexico, and when you do return to your home, look around, really look, really see-- both the outer world that will have changed slightly (but not too much) and the inner world that will have (I hope) changed a great deal-- really appreciate the world you find yourself returning to. See clearly, without impediments, without obstructions, see with open eyes and open heart, and if you find yourself a different person, little lost one, count your blessings, and embrace it with a glad heart. embrace it all, and see how the new you fits into the same tight hug.
It's not sunshine and smoke blowing up your ass. I don't know what's blowing up your ass, My Ogre, but I do know I'll be in Florida sometime around February/March. Possibly sooner, though I'll try to give you enough advance notice.
enjoy your last bit of time in Mexico, and when you do return to your home, look around, really look, really see-- both the outer world that will have changed slightly (but not too much) and the inner world that will have (I hope) changed a great deal-- really appreciate the world you find yourself returning to. See clearly, without impediments, without obstructions, see with open eyes and open heart, and if you find yourself a different person, little lost one, count your blessings, and embrace it with a glad heart. embrace it all, and see how the new you fits into the same tight hug.
p.
Reply
It's not sunshine and smoke blowing up your ass. I don't know what's blowing up your ass, My Ogre, but I do know I'll be in Florida sometime around February/March. Possibly sooner, though I'll try to give you enough advance notice.
I love you.
Reply
Leave a comment