(no subject)
I'm coming home.
I've been mentally saying goodbye to Mexico, which has been painful. This feels like the whiplash I was half expecting. Leaving Raleigh was hard, and then I adjusted to Mexico like only a person with well-refined survival skills can, very quickly. I learned the language, scenery, pace, style, culture, colors, music, laughter..I wash everything by hand, take 3 minute showers, am not afraid of dropping the runs in a public toilet, pee in places I wouldn't leave a dead body, have punched complete strangers for trying to touch me/steal my money, have learned alburres (double-sense words and jokes), argue prices in Spanish, know what all kinds of dead animals look like after a week or so, have slept on the floor in 30 degree weather with no blanket, hitchhiked (don't tell mom), sang and danced in a drum circle for money, played drums for free travel, have done many things that were very difficult, and now I don't know if I'll be able to adjust to life where things are all provided and clean and easy.
How much has Raleigh changed? I know a few people will be gone, people I wasn't expecting to be gone when I got back, and one who will never come back from where he is. I'll miss him too much to talk about. What else? Construction, friend groups, my grandma.
My grandma's apparently been having strokes. Why did it have to be the brain? Why couldn't it have been the body? I can deal with hospitals, IVs, home nurses, etc., but I can't deal with her forgetting shit and possibly us. It's the cruelest thing in the world. She loves talking, but now she can't remember what she did or who she saw, she forgets words, names, places. This is going to be awful.
In other news, I have two very exciting things to look forward to. My Favorite Person, who I will show My Raleigh to, and make collages with, and play musical hangman with; and a fascinating and liberating journey with my best friend, more travel, more learning, life without boundaries.
I don't have Plans. I don't have a place I want to settle, or a career I want to tie myself to, nowhere to grow roots and that is a good thing. Scary, but why? It's not scary, really, evolution is just strange.
I'm rambling. I'll see you all soon, we'll get beers and go urban rockclimbing and I'll see how much you, me, and my city have changed.
I've been mentally saying goodbye to Mexico, which has been painful. This feels like the whiplash I was half expecting. Leaving Raleigh was hard, and then I adjusted to Mexico like only a person with well-refined survival skills can, very quickly. I learned the language, scenery, pace, style, culture, colors, music, laughter..I wash everything by hand, take 3 minute showers, am not afraid of dropping the runs in a public toilet, pee in places I wouldn't leave a dead body, have punched complete strangers for trying to touch me/steal my money, have learned alburres (double-sense words and jokes), argue prices in Spanish, know what all kinds of dead animals look like after a week or so, have slept on the floor in 30 degree weather with no blanket, hitchhiked (don't tell mom), sang and danced in a drum circle for money, played drums for free travel, have done many things that were very difficult, and now I don't know if I'll be able to adjust to life where things are all provided and clean and easy.
How much has Raleigh changed? I know a few people will be gone, people I wasn't expecting to be gone when I got back, and one who will never come back from where he is. I'll miss him too much to talk about. What else? Construction, friend groups, my grandma.
My grandma's apparently been having strokes. Why did it have to be the brain? Why couldn't it have been the body? I can deal with hospitals, IVs, home nurses, etc., but I can't deal with her forgetting shit and possibly us. It's the cruelest thing in the world. She loves talking, but now she can't remember what she did or who she saw, she forgets words, names, places. This is going to be awful.
In other news, I have two very exciting things to look forward to. My Favorite Person, who I will show My Raleigh to, and make collages with, and play musical hangman with; and a fascinating and liberating journey with my best friend, more travel, more learning, life without boundaries.
I don't have Plans. I don't have a place I want to settle, or a career I want to tie myself to, nowhere to grow roots and that is a good thing. Scary, but why? It's not scary, really, evolution is just strange.
I'm rambling. I'll see you all soon, we'll get beers and go urban rockclimbing and I'll see how much you, me, and my city have changed.