Whence You Came
I just realized I hardly know anyone from high school anymore. Even people I was quite fond of. All because I don't keep in touch with people. Perhaps, also, because they didn't want to keep in touch with me. But I like to avoid thinking about that. I would have a weird "people I knew in high school reunion party" but I have a feeling that it would be excessively awkward and maybe a bit ... well ... bad. Like, maybe I'd hate people. And maybe they'd hate me. Or maybe we'd just sit and stare and I'd get really upset about not having TV because at least that'd be a distraction. Or maybe no one would show up and instead I'd go to Denny's and be extremely relieved that no such spurious gathering of "friends" occured. I find that, under most circumstances, rehashing the past is a bad idea.
What suddenly got this into my head anyway? I honestly haven't given high school a second thought since I've left because I decided a long time ago it was best that way so as not to let my numerous failures see the light of day. Would people who knew me then expect me to be in such a lackluster and unenlightening situation? Shouldn't I be somewhere else doing something amazing? Wasn't I that type of person in high school? I really don't remember ... And I'm not complaining. One thing I do pride myself on is that I've gotten past public self-pity. I'm rather content with who I've become, but that doesn't mean that I don't still worry about the opinions of others. Which, I suppose, is likely a insipient idea that should be banished from my mind. Then again, I've tried, without success, to accept that some people are closed-minded morons, and that their opinions don't matter as long as I'm happy with myself. I wonder how many people can actually claim they've leapt that hurdle and landed safely? I hope I'm not making myself seem naive with assumptions. Maybe I am the anomaly.
Then again, I suppose this likely doesn't matter as everyone I even know, let alone care to see, is in college now ... or has graduated college ... wow. I might know all of 10 people at U-High now. Crazy revelation, that. Oh, well. All the better my strange ponderings never come to term.
"All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade ... away."
What suddenly got this into my head anyway? I honestly haven't given high school a second thought since I've left because I decided a long time ago it was best that way so as not to let my numerous failures see the light of day. Would people who knew me then expect me to be in such a lackluster and unenlightening situation? Shouldn't I be somewhere else doing something amazing? Wasn't I that type of person in high school? I really don't remember ... And I'm not complaining. One thing I do pride myself on is that I've gotten past public self-pity. I'm rather content with who I've become, but that doesn't mean that I don't still worry about the opinions of others. Which, I suppose, is likely a insipient idea that should be banished from my mind. Then again, I've tried, without success, to accept that some people are closed-minded morons, and that their opinions don't matter as long as I'm happy with myself. I wonder how many people can actually claim they've leapt that hurdle and landed safely? I hope I'm not making myself seem naive with assumptions. Maybe I am the anomaly.
Then again, I suppose this likely doesn't matter as everyone I even know, let alone care to see, is in college now ... or has graduated college ... wow. I might know all of 10 people at U-High now. Crazy revelation, that. Oh, well. All the better my strange ponderings never come to term.
"All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade ... away."