(no subject)
Maybe the reason I am afraid of change is because everyone is being taken away from me. Jon....is completely gone. Because NOW hes going out with Shana..and is ignoring everyone BUT shana and all her close, close friends. I really miss him. I want it the same. When he was one of my best friends...and we went everywhere together...and did everything together. We saw this movie in the beginning of the year..about these 2 kids who were best friends frolicking through a field when they were like 2..and then when they got older one did drugs and all of that shit that i hate.....nd because of this their friendship was pretty much lost. Until they graduated high school, where they walked out of the school holding hands again just like when they were 2. i felt like screaming when i saw that. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. So stop getting my hopes up. It just doesnt always end that way....holding hands running through a field with tons of fluffy bunnies and dasies. Who knows, it definitely could. But in this situation..i think i lost him. Which could be a reason every time i go to get my hair cut i never get like anything cut off. Then the hair lady always laughs at me with my mom and A about how im terrified for a small change. I just realized how true that is. But i also realized WHY. Because of these people, leaving me..who i love so. so. so. much. LIKE NORA. Shes not going to central either...and I LOVE her SO much. Maybe theres a reason she's leaving me. Since theres supposedly a reason for everything. Maybe theres a reason she's being taken away from me..and we met for a reason. Maybe theres a reason she was only a part of my life to make me always smile when i see her. Or maybe not.