shit
I binged... I just started eating cookie dough and ritz crackers and I couldn't stop!...and then I puked. Then I of course have to go out to eat with my family. So all my puking was for nothing. I'm disgusting and I can't seem to keep my control consistently. It can be so hard and boring to not eat. I'm getting these green tea appetite suppressing pills tomorrow at the store. I need help and I keep doing fine then I just lose it and start eating everything. Then I feel like shit and I can't take it back....even if I throw it up I feel like there is still something in there. I hate throwing up food too...it takes so long and it hurts and its disgusting. I keep on looking at these skinny, skinny pictures of kate moss and I'm so jealous. I guess she's my thinspiration or w/e. I hate food I hate fat I hate my chubby face and I am pissed....I feel like such an idiot too because all I do is obsess about superficial stuff. I wish i didn't care. I can't help it though.
fuck fuck fuck
:*(
fuck fuck fuck
:*(