182- Lying to Oneself [Warning for LONG cuts]
[Private]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phew. Managed to catch Menchi, at least. Haha! Trying to cheer me up by acting like her old, playful self again, huh? Hahah, so much energy! ... I'll have to make sure I check the locks on the door from now on. I keep forgetting how clever she can be. Is she trying to leave me, too? Well, we're back together again now and nothing's gonna change that, right, girl? Hahaha. Yeah, I guess I should be glad that fate sees fit to allow me companionship in these grim times, huh? I want to leave, too Oh, my Lord, you would be proud of me, wouldn't you? I've endured over a year in this place, and though you aren't here anymore, I just know you're supporting me in spirit! You've noticed I'm not there, right? Y-Yeah, I'm still kicking butt and representin' for good ol' ACROSS, all for you, Sir! Yeah, that's it, this is just a test of my endurance and faith, isn't it, my Lord? I'll bet you knew about all this all along! To test my resolve for the cause, isolated behind enemy lines! Don't worry, my Lord, I won't fail you! Damnit, I can't make my eyes stop crying. Accursed traitors, stop acting without my permission! I didn't give clearance for unauthorized leaking!
... Ahm, a-anyway. I guess if Wakaba-san isn't living here anymore, I should start looking for another roommate. I miss having someone to help keep me sane split the rent with.
Maybe I should get a few new jobs, too. As proud of myself as I am for having kept my current workset for as long as I have, I feel as if I'm getting too used to it all. If I give in to this sense of stability and staleness, I'll be no better than the ignorant masses, won't I? And I can't deal with this sense of anxiety hanging over me. I almost miss when I kept getting fired all the time losing work through unfortunate circumstances. This all just feels too... Simple... Something about it all just unnerves me and it's getting uncomfortable. I'm sure it's all part of the conspiracy, trying to lull me into a false sense of security. Best to just start from the ground floor, then, right? That way they won't be expecting it! Oh yeah! Clever like a fox, man! Since Mr. Sweeney and Ms. E don't seem to be around anymore I guess I could quit those jobs easy enough... Should I quit my job with Meryl, too? I... I dunno... Maybe. I never even really talk to her that much anymore, after all. Still, with Megu-chan gone from the city, she's pretty much the closest ally I've got right now.
Well, talking to myself isn't going to get anything done yet I seem to be doing it an awful lot lately! Best to just get out there and get to it, right?! "Right!" Thanks for agreeing with me, me! "Oh sure, no problem, me!" Hahahaha! ... Crap.
[/private]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, Amelia-san To the, er... Mysterious masked figure who helped me find my dog the other day, thanks. I'm not giving you a reward or anything, but thanks.
Also, Lenall... Uh... Leenale... Lee-san, hope you liked the pool alright. It's good exercise, y'know. Keeps the legs strong and all that. I find it's better than running. But then again, I find water soothing, so that might be why.
... Uh, hey, can I ask somethin' of all you ignorant masses people out there? I've been here a long time now and I keep seeing people going home and coming back. Does, uh... Does that happen a lot for you guys? 'Cuz I haven't gone back ONCE yet. Has anyone else who's been here a long time not even gone home at all? Alive or otherwise, I guess? Just curious is all.
While I'm at it, two more things...
ROOMMATE WANTED
Adult female roommate wanted, willing and able to pay their share of the rent, able to avoid prematurely eating the dog, able to avoid spoiling said dog, able to avoid flaunting over-sized mammary glands in my face at inappropriate times, able to do without utilities such as television or excess use of hot water and other services that we may or may not have to pay for- I'm still not convinced one way or the other and quite frankly I'd rather not have to find out the hard way.
Conditions are subject to change based on how desperate I get availability of applicants.
JOB WANTED:
Adult female worker seeking part-time work of the sort that has lax application standards and pays a minimum of minimum wage, unless that doesn't exist here. Applicant has an array of talents to suit most jobs, particularly of the labor sort- construction, janitorial services, hair cutting and styling, carpentry, drywalling, saleswomanship, soliciting, pizza delivery, camera operation, etc. Terms of employment are flexible and open to discussion.
.... Right, I think that takes care of everything.
[Private to Meryl Stryfe]
Hey, Mel-chan Boss, you got a second to talk?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: LONG FREAKING POST. So, anyway, this is me desperately trying to get Excel back into character. Since the manga updates take FOREEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEER I can't do a decent canon update for a LONG time. I don't want to say why due to spoilers, but suffice it to say that the canon hasn't progressed very far on Excel's end from the point at which I brought her into the RP to begin with. But all this time by herself with so few real friends (Keep in mind you have to be REAL close to her for her to think of you as a "friend"- people she just fights with a lot are acquaintances at most) is taking a toll on her.
I'd REALLY like her to get a roommate with the right kind of chemistry, though. She's VERY unlikely to kick anyone out at this point even if they DO piss her off, since she wants the company whether she'll admit it to herself or not, and she wants the extra money for the rent/utilities, if they even have to pay for those things (I KEEP FORGETTING, ALRIGHT?). HOWEVER, what I want out of a roommate would be someone who'll provide a good counter personality with her. In a weird way, someone she'd fight with would help her a lot better than someone she'd actually like off the bat. At this point, though, neither of us are too picky. The only real requisite is that your character stays for more than ONE DAMN WEEK. IT'S BEEN A CURSE. I CAN'T KEEP ANY ROOMMATES FOR HER FOR MORE THAN THAT. IN FACT, LATELY THEY'VE ONLY BEEN STAYING ABOUT TWO FREAKING DAYS. IT'S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING. ALMOST AS FRUSTRATING AS THE PARANOIA I'M GETTING THAT THIS POST IS SO GODDAMN LONG THAT NOBODY'LL EVEN READ IT, BOTH OF WHICH ARE UNFOUNDED AND SERVE ONLY TO EXACERBATE THEIR RESPECTIVE PROBLEMS. Anyway...
Excel is strong. She's real good at lying to herself and even re-writing her memories of events to clear herself of blame. The thing is that I'm having trouble keeping her in-character without ANY people from her world to clash or mesh with. She has no Ha-chan to boost her ego and reassure her she's still the one in charge, no Elgala to assert her dominance over and fight tooth and nail with even though they get along alright when they have to, and no Il Palazzo to give her hope and courage and tell her what to do. She's struggling, damnit. I know I bitch about it a lot, but it's really hard to play her by herself. I'm not going to drop her, not ever if I can actually help it, but I just wanted to get this all off my chest, so that anyone who's noticed all the NUMEROUS inconsistencies knows I've been trying to fix them.
Anyway, enough guilt trip. I'm on AIM as Morzox if you want to discuss anything.]
Phew. Managed to catch Menchi, at least. Haha! Trying to cheer me up by acting like her old, playful self again, huh? Hahah, so much energy! ... I'll have to make sure I check the locks on the door from now on. I keep forgetting how clever she can be. Is she trying to leave me, too? Well, we're back together again now and nothing's gonna change that, right, girl? Hahaha. Yeah, I guess I should be glad that fate sees fit to allow me companionship in these grim times, huh? I want to leave, too Oh, my Lord, you would be proud of me, wouldn't you? I've endured over a year in this place, and though you aren't here anymore, I just know you're supporting me in spirit! You've noticed I'm not there, right? Y-Yeah, I'm still kicking butt and representin' for good ol' ACROSS, all for you, Sir! Yeah, that's it, this is just a test of my endurance and faith, isn't it, my Lord? I'll bet you knew about all this all along! To test my resolve for the cause, isolated behind enemy lines! Don't worry, my Lord, I won't fail you! Damnit, I can't make my eyes stop crying. Accursed traitors, stop acting without my permission! I didn't give clearance for unauthorized leaking!
... Ahm, a-anyway. I guess if Wakaba-san isn't living here anymore, I should start looking for another roommate. I miss having someone to help keep me sane split the rent with.
Maybe I should get a few new jobs, too. As proud of myself as I am for having kept my current workset for as long as I have, I feel as if I'm getting too used to it all. If I give in to this sense of stability and staleness, I'll be no better than the ignorant masses, won't I? And I can't deal with this sense of anxiety hanging over me. I almost miss when I kept getting fired all the time losing work through unfortunate circumstances. This all just feels too... Simple... Something about it all just unnerves me and it's getting uncomfortable. I'm sure it's all part of the conspiracy, trying to lull me into a false sense of security. Best to just start from the ground floor, then, right? That way they won't be expecting it! Oh yeah! Clever like a fox, man! Since Mr. Sweeney and Ms. E don't seem to be around anymore I guess I could quit those jobs easy enough... Should I quit my job with Meryl, too? I... I dunno... Maybe. I never even really talk to her that much anymore, after all. Still, with Megu-chan gone from the city, she's pretty much the closest ally I've got right now.
Well, talking to myself isn't going to get anything done yet I seem to be doing it an awful lot lately! Best to just get out there and get to it, right?! "Right!" Thanks for agreeing with me, me! "Oh sure, no problem, me!" Hahahaha! ... Crap.
[/private]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, Amelia-san To the, er... Mysterious masked figure who helped me find my dog the other day, thanks. I'm not giving you a reward or anything, but thanks.
Also, Lenall... Uh... Leenale... Lee-san, hope you liked the pool alright. It's good exercise, y'know. Keeps the legs strong and all that. I find it's better than running. But then again, I find water soothing, so that might be why.
... Uh, hey, can I ask somethin' of all you ignorant masses people out there? I've been here a long time now and I keep seeing people going home and coming back. Does, uh... Does that happen a lot for you guys? 'Cuz I haven't gone back ONCE yet. Has anyone else who's been here a long time not even gone home at all? Alive or otherwise, I guess? Just curious is all.
While I'm at it, two more things...
ROOMMATE WANTED
Adult female roommate wanted, willing and able to pay their share of the rent, able to avoid prematurely eating the dog, able to avoid spoiling said dog, able to avoid flaunting over-sized mammary glands in my face at inappropriate times, able to do without utilities such as television or excess use of hot water and other services that we may or may not have to pay for- I'm still not convinced one way or the other and quite frankly I'd rather not have to find out the hard way.
Conditions are subject to change based on how desperate I get availability of applicants.
JOB WANTED:
Adult female worker seeking part-time work of the sort that has lax application standards and pays a minimum of minimum wage, unless that doesn't exist here. Applicant has an array of talents to suit most jobs, particularly of the labor sort- construction, janitorial services, hair cutting and styling, carpentry, drywalling, saleswomanship, soliciting, pizza delivery, camera operation, etc. Terms of employment are flexible and open to discussion.
.... Right, I think that takes care of everything.
[Private to Meryl Stryfe]
Hey, Mel-chan Boss, you got a second to talk?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: LONG FREAKING POST. So, anyway, this is me desperately trying to get Excel back into character. Since the manga updates take FOREEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEER I can't do a decent canon update for a LONG time. I don't want to say why due to spoilers, but suffice it to say that the canon hasn't progressed very far on Excel's end from the point at which I brought her into the RP to begin with. But all this time by herself with so few real friends (Keep in mind you have to be REAL close to her for her to think of you as a "friend"- people she just fights with a lot are acquaintances at most) is taking a toll on her.
I'd REALLY like her to get a roommate with the right kind of chemistry, though. She's VERY unlikely to kick anyone out at this point even if they DO piss her off, since she wants the company whether she'll admit it to herself or not, and she wants the extra money for the rent/utilities, if they even have to pay for those things (I KEEP FORGETTING, ALRIGHT?). HOWEVER, what I want out of a roommate would be someone who'll provide a good counter personality with her. In a weird way, someone she'd fight with would help her a lot better than someone she'd actually like off the bat. At this point, though, neither of us are too picky. The only real requisite is that your character stays for more than ONE DAMN WEEK. IT'S BEEN A CURSE. I CAN'T KEEP ANY ROOMMATES FOR HER FOR MORE THAN THAT. IN FACT, LATELY THEY'VE ONLY BEEN STAYING ABOUT TWO FREAKING DAYS. IT'S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING. ALMOST AS FRUSTRATING AS THE PARANOIA I'M GETTING THAT THIS POST IS SO GODDAMN LONG THAT NOBODY'LL EVEN READ IT, BOTH OF WHICH ARE UNFOUNDED AND SERVE ONLY TO EXACERBATE THEIR RESPECTIVE PROBLEMS. Anyway...
Excel is strong. She's real good at lying to herself and even re-writing her memories of events to clear herself of blame. The thing is that I'm having trouble keeping her in-character without ANY people from her world to clash or mesh with. She has no Ha-chan to boost her ego and reassure her she's still the one in charge, no Elgala to assert her dominance over and fight tooth and nail with even though they get along alright when they have to, and no Il Palazzo to give her hope and courage and tell her what to do. She's struggling, damnit. I know I bitch about it a lot, but it's really hard to play her by herself. I'm not going to drop her, not ever if I can actually help it, but I just wanted to get this all off my chest, so that anyone who's noticed all the NUMEROUS inconsistencies knows I've been trying to fix them.
Anyway, enough guilt trip. I'm on AIM as Morzox if you want to discuss anything.]