Today...

[pisss]

they did the UT remembers ceremony...
in memoriam of the students who died in the VT shooting.
I walked past as they played that bagpipe song...
no, i do not know what it is called...
it sent chills up my spine.
While in front of the communications building calling a friend...
they began tolling the bells.
My heart hung heavy...
and I was nearly brought to tears...
not for the VT students...
I have sympathy for their families...
and I know what they are going through...
but my feelings were not because of them.
Where would he be today?
Would he be graduating from the Air Force Academy next year in May...
like I will be from UT?
Would we still be friends?
Would he have forgiven me of all the pain I caused him?
Who would he be today?
Who would I be today?
Some down-trodden, weak, dependent soul...
still under the control of her peice of shit boyfriend...
who she had cast Bubba so gingerly aside for?
Every so often there is something so simplisticly profound...
that it rips open the scar in my little, calloused heart...
and I feel again.
I thank you for all the change you've given me.
I thank you for making me stronger.
I thank you for making me who I am today and not who I was three years ago.