RP Log with Geddoe trueltning_fury
There wasn't any set schedule to Sigurd's visits, but Geddoe had come to expect him around a certain time every day, and so he was ready for it, comfortably dressed and sitting up, even taking a moment to clean the mess that was his knitting out of the way. The new yarn from Wyatt was the right color, but he was still fumbling with the rather simple project and just put it aside whenever he got frustrated. Like, right about now. There were more important things to do, anyway.
Sigurd opened the door while knocking on it, keeping his face turned away in the off chance that Geddoe was indecent (Did Sigurd even really care?). "Your nurse is here, Geddoe" he said in a cheerful tone.
Geddoe couldn't stop the smile that warmed his lips. "Oh good. Just when I was thinking it was time," he said with good humor. "You're becoming predictable, Sigurd."
"I like some level of predicitability. I've still got Navy Boy in me, after all," he said with an amused chuckle as he set down a tray he was carrying. On the tray was a sample of herbal pain medication, a small bottle of ale, and a bowl of warm soup.
"Looks good," Geddoe mused, realizing that he was actually fairly hungry, for once. He pushed himself to his feet and made his way to the table unaided, finally, though he was a little stiff about it. "One of these days, you ought to bring your own lunch along, so we can share. Since you're going to sit in here with me anyway."
"I always eat before coming. I tried the potato soup, it's nice and heart and creamy. You'll love it," he said, taking a seat across from Geddoe and propping his elbows up to rest his face on. "I see you're moving around a bit more. That's good to see."
"I've been trying," Geddoe admitted as he started in on the soup. "I want to be able to leave the room, even if I don't go far." He nodded toward the ceiling, or really the deck above it. "Like upstairs to the baths."
"How about this, we spend some time on the deck tomorrow if the weather is good. And then to the baths," he said with a grin. "Sound like a good time?"
Geddoe nodded over his lunch. "Sounds wonderful." The corner of his mouth twitched in a smirk. "I know how badly I need a bath. Really."
"Good, because I was going to start treating you like Hervey and just telling you that you stink," Sigurd laughed, easing back into his chair a bit.
"And yet you still put up with me." Geddoe's next smile was much more shy. "You do amaze me sometimes, Sigurd."
"Well...I'm not in love with Hervey," he said rather directly, looking away from Geddoe and out the small window his room had. "And that can make a lot of difference in what you put up with in life."
Geddoe concentrated on finishing the soup for a bit, though he didn't lose the smile. He was still getting used to hearing that - and really feeling that it was true. Yet, he still worried. "I just hope I won't lose the pleasure of your company when I'm no longer in need of a personal nurse," he mused. "I rather enjoy your visits."
"I'm not shallow, Geddoe. I will still be close to you even after your recovery, no matter what eventually ends up happening," Sigurd said softly, moving a hand to Geddoe's.
Geddoe smiled at the hand on his, and turned it to capture the tips of Sigurd's fingers. He could still eat one-handed, after all. "I didn't mean to suggest you were," he continued after a bit. "It's just hard...being here alone when you're free to roam out there. I've been sleeping less, but that means thinking more."
Sigurd gave a somewhat worried expression at that statement. "Geddoe, you need your rest," he scolded, furrowing his brow. "Though...I am curious about what has been on your mind."
"Insecurity," Geddoe replied with a shake of his head to suggest it wasn't worth talking about. "The wish to push my boundaries with you while I have the chance. A few...mental images I don't feel like sharing," he added with a wry smirk. "But mostly...just the insecurity. I, uh..." He set down the spoon and pushed the empty bowl aside. "I had a talk with Wyatt. About this."
"I know," Sigurd growled slightly, remembering the thinly veiled threat he had recieved from the respected knight.
Geddoe looked straight at him. "What? How..." His face fell, then, into a look of embarrassed horror. "Did he say something to you?"
"Oh he said something, alright," Sigurd mused through clenched teeth.
"Oh boy." Geddoe sighed heavily. "Good or bad, or don't I want to know?"
"Well, he gave me a smiling threat while trying to give me a pep talk," Sigurd huffed, looking more than a bit miffed.
Geddoe squeezed his hand. "That sounds like Wyatt, all right. You understand, Sigurd...he and I are closer than brothers. I'm sure he thought he just protecting me."
"Oh, I know. I've given similar talks to some of the floozies Hervey has tried to take home. So I understand what he was doing, but...it was still rather annoying," he said with a light sigh.
"I'm sorry," Geddoe said, unable to contain a little chuckle. "At least that means he approves of you. If he didn't, you'd be on the bottom of the lake by now."
Sigurd tossed an unamused glance Geddoe's way and just sort of tapped his finger. "Right..."
"Come, now." Geddoe sat back, withdrawing his hand. "Does it bother you that much? I can talk to him, tell him to ease off. Or is there something else?"
Sigurd's look softened and he let out a heavy sigh, looking up at nothing in particular. "Well...I'm just worried about when this will all eventually blow up in my face. I'm up the river with no boat, Geddoe," he said, his voice shaking just the slightest bit.
Ah, of course. Geddoe nodded slightly and then pushed himself up again, returning to his bed just to sit on the edge. "Sit with me," he implored, though he knew he wouldn't have to beg.
Sigurd nodded and followed, plopping down slightly and trying not to let his shoulders sulk. He wanted to lean on Geddoe, but he wouldn't do so in his injured state.
Geddoe set his hand on Sigurd's back, at the base of his neck, and caressed lightly to console him. "I've been getting a lot of advice lately," he sighed, "not just from Wyatt. Most of them didn't even know what they were saying...but it helped me either way. I don't know that it'll ease your mind any, but I can try...because I don't like seeing you look so hurt."
"Well...what have you figured?" Sigurd said, looking back at Geddoe with eyes that reflected his inner turmoil better than he probably would have liked.
"That all if this is very complicated," Geddoe admitted, "but also that...some things are worth fighting for. Worth the sacrifice." He brushed the backs of his fingers down Sigurd's cheek. "And that...sometimes love isn't about that rush of feeling, but about...what you're willing to give, or sacrifice, for the other person."
Sigurd gave a half smile at that...those were words he was glad to hear...but he also knew that it meant Geddoe and Bernadette would likely be at odds at some point. And that made his expression immediately change again.
The fleeting smile made Geddoe want to recapture it. He touched Sigurd's face again, trying to coax it back. "You have a generous heart. You always hear me out. But I want to do the same for you. Tell me. What troubles you most? It doesn't matter if there isn't anything I can do to solve it here and now...just talk to me."
"This whole situation, Geddoe...this having to choose between you and Bernadette...hearing that your willing to fight for me just makes that decision all the more difficult," Sigurd said quietly.
"But you wouldn't be any happier if either of us said we would step aside for the other," Geddoe said pointedly. "Would you?"
"No, but...my gods, Geddoe, I can't do this," he said, his voice becoming strained and stilted.
"Then don't," the mercenary said bluntly. "If neither will leave you truly happy because it comes at the expense of the other, then forget the whole thing. Right?"
...He couldn't do that either...the thought of not being with either of them was just as painful. "I...I can't...," he said, tears beginning to roll down his cheecks. "I'm too weak for that...too selfish."
Sighing in sympathy, Geddoe put an arm around Sigurd's shoulders. "You can. You just don't want to." He pulled the young man closer. "Do you even know what it is you want? You can't even begin to decide which one to love if you don't know that."
"What I want...is to not be alone anymore...to have someone I can be happy spending my life with and not just one night of passion like my lifestyle would suggest...," he said with full confidence. The problem, of course, was that he could get that from both of them.
"That's a start," Geddoe acknowledged. "Then...you have to consider whether it's worth the effort. I know I'm the one at the disadvantage - I'm also a man. It's far easier for you to choose a woman, it's expected. You'd have to risk more for me. Some people wouldn't be strong enough for that."
"Well...gender is pretty meaningless to me. I grew up in Middleport, and they're pretty liberal minded for the most part. Most of the Federation is," he remarked, relaxing just a bit though he still sniffled back a few tears.
"It's easy to say," Geddoe remarked. "It's another thing to consider it in the long run. Though, you have been very comfortable with me." He leaned close to Sigurd's ear and spoke more quietly. "You don't hesitate like I expected you to, when you move to kiss me."
Sigurd sort of blinked at him, a blush moving to his cheek. "W-...Why would I?"
"If it was just an infatuation, or experimentation, you might." Geddoe chuckled darkly. "I've seen that before. More than once. Hm, no, you've never been less than...completely committed, around me. It's...encouraging."
Sigurd smiled softly, moving in to place a soft kiss on Geddoe's cheek. "Well, I'm glad I could at least help you with that sort of thing...," he said, his voice dripping ever so slightly with darker intentions.
"You have." Geddoe turned his head and captured Sigurd's lips in a full kiss, lingering just long enough before parting. "I didn't know I had it in me to be so...affectionate. You've taught me a lot."
Sigurd smirked, taking another kiss from those lips and slowly moving Geddoe down to the bed. He didn't know what had came over him but...he had suddenly felt very wanting of physical contact.
Geddoe settled back at the prompting, relaxing with a sigh against Sigurd's lips. This was much easier than talking, though avoiding wasn't going to do either of them any good, either. At least, moments like this erased the pain from Sigurd's face just long enough, and sometimes that was all Geddoe could do for him.
Sigurd's kisses grew more passionate as his hands moved to play about Geddoe's face. He soon broke from the lips and moved them to his chin and neck. At the very least, he felt more comfortable being this forward with Geddoe than with Bernadette. He knew this man was more experienced...more seasoned...more willing.
Geddoe touched back, caressing Sigurd's face, neck, and combing his fingers through his hair, indulging him in anything he wanted - to a point. He knew when to stay stop, not just for his battered body's sake, but for their relationship as well. Passion was easy, the rest was hard. So far, he had always stopped it from progressing too fast, a sign that he wanted it this way - he wanted it to mean something for once in his life.
Sigurd kept it up a bit longer before he felt himself satisfied with himself. He knew Geddoe wouldn't let him go any further anyways...and really, Sigurd didn't want to. They had been over this. To fully give themselves to eachother would ruin the point of their relationship to begin with.
Sensing Sigurd's pace slowing, Geddoe kissed him deeply, cupping his hands around the younger man's face and holding him close for a long, searching kiss to top things off nicely. He let his rough fingertips linger around Sigurd's earlobe as they broke for breath. "Do you feel...a little better?" he murmured.
"Yeah...seems I just needed a nice physical session like that to clear my thoughts," he said in a whisper.
"I know there's a lot to think about," Geddoe went on, appreciating his closeness. "It hurts me to see what this is doing to you, as much as you worry about me. But there's something about you I just don't want to give up." His thumb traced Sigurd's lips. "And it isn't physical."
"I know...I know," he said calmly, feeling inredibly relaxed just laying here with him
Geddoe rubbed his fingertips along the back of Sigurd's neck, trying to knead away his tensions. "Do you, though?" he murmured. "I don't think I've told you, yet, that I do love you."
Ah...such sweet sweet words to hear. He could nearly die from them. He didn't think of it then...but his attachment to those words would only make his decision more difficult. Life had just become so complicated. But right then and there...none of it mattered.
Geddoe closed his good eye and held Sigurd close, wishing there were more he could do to help. He couldn't solve this problem, not with all his wisdom and shrewdness. It would be up to Sigurd alone, once he discovered within him what he wanted most. All the captain could do was silently wait, and try not to think about what Sigurd could be doing with Bernadette out there, where he couldn't interfere.