decisions
back in florida, and now things get complicated. parents are less nice than they were when i left, and having had a taste of freedom, i want even less to spend time around here. and suddenly i have another opportunity to get away, a fella who wants to take me out and give me a "dream vacation" and sort of make me not hate florida before i leave it forever. but, this means i have to make some decisions, and quick...
of course i want to, who doesn't want to be lavished with attention by someone who adores you, and he of course wants to, and i of course want to see him again like right now, and it means being away from my poopy house with my parents, and doing some things i always wanted to do/see in florida before i go, plus spend more time with him which otherwise will not be possible at least till i move which is over a month from now. i really need out of here, i felt like me again in athens and it was amazing, and then within 2 minutes of being back here i was literally holding back tears of rage, but i'm also moving so soon, i'm so close to leaving. so i badly want to go, for my own sanity if nothing else. but...
* i just left my cat for 10 days, and in 2 weeks will be leaving her for at least another 2 weeks. she is super needy right now and i don't want her to be entirely neglected, especially right before a stressful move
* because mom will need to be the caretaker of the cat, i will need her okay and she seems not real happy with me at the moment, plus i don't know how she will be about it considering she is also watching ronia for the bulk of may
* i feel bad that he wants to take time way from his work and spend money on me, i guess i don't entirely feel like i'm a good reason for someone to blow a bunch of money
* the plan was to spend the next 2 weeks tying up loose ends, climbing, seeing the few folks i care about here, mom wanted to hang out and go to sea world (?), i need to be online hunting down apartments and roommates, people to stay with when i am in brooklyn, etc. going away makes all this much harder, and makes some of it impossible
* i've been offered the chance to pick up shifts at the restaurant as people seem to be sick a lot this week, and i could always use a little more money. of course being away takes that possibility away as well
so i don't know what to do, i want so badly to say yes but i'm not sure it's the smart practical thing to do, i don't want to create more problems for myself...
of course i want to, who doesn't want to be lavished with attention by someone who adores you, and he of course wants to, and i of course want to see him again like right now, and it means being away from my poopy house with my parents, and doing some things i always wanted to do/see in florida before i go, plus spend more time with him which otherwise will not be possible at least till i move which is over a month from now. i really need out of here, i felt like me again in athens and it was amazing, and then within 2 minutes of being back here i was literally holding back tears of rage, but i'm also moving so soon, i'm so close to leaving. so i badly want to go, for my own sanity if nothing else. but...
* i just left my cat for 10 days, and in 2 weeks will be leaving her for at least another 2 weeks. she is super needy right now and i don't want her to be entirely neglected, especially right before a stressful move
* because mom will need to be the caretaker of the cat, i will need her okay and she seems not real happy with me at the moment, plus i don't know how she will be about it considering she is also watching ronia for the bulk of may
* i feel bad that he wants to take time way from his work and spend money on me, i guess i don't entirely feel like i'm a good reason for someone to blow a bunch of money
* the plan was to spend the next 2 weeks tying up loose ends, climbing, seeing the few folks i care about here, mom wanted to hang out and go to sea world (?), i need to be online hunting down apartments and roommates, people to stay with when i am in brooklyn, etc. going away makes all this much harder, and makes some of it impossible
* i've been offered the chance to pick up shifts at the restaurant as people seem to be sick a lot this week, and i could always use a little more money. of course being away takes that possibility away as well
so i don't know what to do, i want so badly to say yes but i'm not sure it's the smart practical thing to do, i don't want to create more problems for myself...