Interaction
I had a troubling experience today. I went to a performance that I thought was a play and it turned out to be an interactive thing.
As a rule, I loathe interactive theater. This might seem strange to anyone who knows me from LARP, but it's true. I'm okay in front of crowds if I'm control of the situation. I've made funny speeches at weddings easily and had the crowd with me. I've done role-playing stuff in rooms full of people with no problem. If I've got enough time to collect myself and it's my decision to participate, it's all good. If I'm surprised in front of a crowd, the crippling stage fright takes hold and I'm likely to run out in a panic and wind up throwing up or crying in the bathroom. Sometimes I lash out, just out of terror, and say rude things.
I don't know exactly why this is, but it nearly caught me today. There was a moment when I was afraid that actors were going to call out my name in a theater, and I was terribly rude about it. I had to find one of them afterward and tell him how much I enjoyed the performance, because I felt terrible about being rude, but I really can't help it. It's a major anxiety trigger for me. It goes back to childhood, when I would panic and run if a clown or a Mickey Mouse picked me out of a crowd. And they always picked me. I got through it today thanks to a very good friend and some meditation breathing, but it was a close thing, and I nearly walked out.
Am I alone here?
As a rule, I loathe interactive theater. This might seem strange to anyone who knows me from LARP, but it's true. I'm okay in front of crowds if I'm control of the situation. I've made funny speeches at weddings easily and had the crowd with me. I've done role-playing stuff in rooms full of people with no problem. If I've got enough time to collect myself and it's my decision to participate, it's all good. If I'm surprised in front of a crowd, the crippling stage fright takes hold and I'm likely to run out in a panic and wind up throwing up or crying in the bathroom. Sometimes I lash out, just out of terror, and say rude things.
I don't know exactly why this is, but it nearly caught me today. There was a moment when I was afraid that actors were going to call out my name in a theater, and I was terribly rude about it. I had to find one of them afterward and tell him how much I enjoyed the performance, because I felt terrible about being rude, but I really can't help it. It's a major anxiety trigger for me. It goes back to childhood, when I would panic and run if a clown or a Mickey Mouse picked me out of a crowd. And they always picked me. I got through it today thanks to a very good friend and some meditation breathing, but it was a close thing, and I nearly walked out.
Am I alone here?