The evilness of Hajime Kanzaka and the terrible curse of Tokyopop
No, this is not a Tokyopop-bashing entry. On the contrary, actually. A few days ago, I've been put into a situation that reminded me quite a bit of what they must have faced when trying to localize the Slayers novels.
So, we have the Giga Slave. No introductions needed, right? Major plot point and all. When Lina uses the imperfect version against Rezo/Shabranigdu, she mentions that she used it once before, annihilating an entire sea bay.
Great plot hook for some exciting fanfics! Except, no. Because the scene has actually been written by the author. In Slayers Special 13.
And my goodness, is it underwhelming!... Objectively, it's nothing different from the rest of Slayers Special of course: it's basically all a gag reel, with less description and even faster pacing than the main novel series, which was pretty light on those already, being aptly enough a light novel. Kanzaka is just trying to have some mindless fun here.
But come on, it's still the Giga Slave, for crying out loud! It's the first time Lina ever uses this spell that she created, something which is even more powerful than the Dragon Slave, and could potentially destroy the world - and none of this is referenced for even a HALF-SENTENCE in the entire damn narrative! WHHHHHYYYYY????
So, picture yourself that you have to localize something like this. You know what this is, you know how great this could be - just how much you would dare to deviate from the original?
Thankfully, the main novels, being less about mindless comedy, are written in a manner that allows for a pretty good and faithful translation, if one tries hard enough. This, however, I could not do here. I just couldn't.
Hey, Tokyopop guys, I apparently just joined your ranks. I still think you could've done better, but otherwise I think it's time for me to get off the high horse. Without further ado, I present you:
The first casting of the Giga Slave in Slayers Special 13
(“Tokyopop Version”)
And now all the fish poachers were arrested.
Naga and I spent the remaining time enjoying the private beach while Lili, our employer, kept scolding us about random things that weren’t really important.
And on the last day…
…the time has come for me and Naga to get our well deserved payme--
“What do you mean by… ‘there isn’t any’…?” I stuttered. Standing in the villa’s veranda, our eyes grew to an unnatural size as we listened to our ever-so-benevolent employer’s rant.
“It’s as I said. Apparently, Mr. Zyark took the money from our safe to pay the fish poachers so they can buy sea urchins and crabs,” she told us. “We can pay you two no more than 10 gold pieces; if you’re not satisfied with that, you have to accompany me home, which will take a month, or wait here for a year until I earn enough money. If neither is acceptable, then I’m afraid I can’t give you any payment. So, what will you do?”
W-Wha… Whaaaat?!
I wasted my time running after these idiot fish poachers, endured all of Ms. Lili the Nitpicker Queen’s complaints, and now she wants to rip me off with a lousy 10 gold pieces?!
Or, of course… hehe, we can stick here, or escort her home, in both occasions working for free for at least a month… if not for a WHOLE YEAR! Huhuhu…
Hahaha… Okay, I get it… So fooling people into free labor is your game, huh?… Well, you are going to regret this… You’re going to regret this so much… Mwahahaha…
None of this evil plotting showed on my face of course - well, not much of it, anyway.
“All right,” I spoke in a neutral tone. “If you can’t afford any more than that, it can’t be helped.”
“W-Wait, Lina, what are you--?!” Naga complained incredulously, but I ignored her as usual.
I pointed resolutely at the beach which could be seen from the veranda. “Will you let me cast one spell over there to blow off some steam at least? I’m a bit upset right now.”
“Sure. If you can relieve some stress with it, go right ahead,” she answered with that big, rage-inducing smile of hers plastered all over her face.
Mwahaha… You got it.
I walked out of the veranda towards the beach at a slow pace, Lili and Naga trailing behind. They probably had no idea about what spell I would chant - in fact, they could not know about it. I never cast it before, you see. It’s a chant I created myself some time ago, but it looked a bit dangerous so I never actually tried it out.
Right now though, something dangerous was just what I needed, mwuhuhu…
With a small smirk in the corner of my lips, I closed my eyes and began the incantation.
“Darkness beyond blackest pitch… deeper than the deepest night…”
The spell seemed to drain me… well, like hell even at the very beginning of the chant. Not very good… But I would not let such trifles get in the way of my well-deserved revenge!
“Golden King of Darkness, who drifts upon the Sea of Chaos!”
Some kind of… rumble sounded from not far away. My eyes fluttered open.
Hey… what are all these storm clouds doing here all of a sudden?
“I call upon thee and swear myself to thee!”
“Err… Lina-chan?” I heard Naga’s whimpers from behind. She sounded terrified for some reason.
Scaredy-cat! It’s all in the name of research, I tell you! …that, and payback!
“Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed…”
But man, this payback is sucking my strength dry! What the heck is this spell?!
“…by the power you and I possess!”
I forced my blurring vision to focus on my outstretched hand. There was a sphere of utter darkness floating above my palm… the power radiating from it felt absolutely horrendous. By all sane means, I had to stop the incantation right now. Revenge was one thing, but it looked like I‘ve created a true monster here; who knows what it’ll do if I let it run loose. There was no other choice but to stop.
…
Yeah, right. You really fell for that, didn’t you?
“GIGA SLAVE!”
Responding to my will, the sphere disappeared from my hand, manifesting itself somewhere within the sea nearby.
Aaaand, I’m not sure what happened. A gigantic wave hit all three of us out of nowhere; it felt like the entire sea rained down upon our heads all at once. I couldn’t see or hear anything for a good while, but when the water finally subsided and I could sit up in the sand…
…the beach, and everything that surrounded it was gone. And when I say gone, I mean GONE. Without a trace.
Something wet and white stuck to my face. I realized it was my own hair.
A few steps behind me, Lili lay on the ground, sobbing.
Too bad, she was the one who allowed this - case closed. She might want to reconsider it next time.
Or, you know… next time, just pay the money you owe me!
So, we have the Giga Slave. No introductions needed, right? Major plot point and all. When Lina uses the imperfect version against Rezo/Shabranigdu, she mentions that she used it once before, annihilating an entire sea bay.
Great plot hook for some exciting fanfics! Except, no. Because the scene has actually been written by the author. In Slayers Special 13.
And my goodness, is it underwhelming!... Objectively, it's nothing different from the rest of Slayers Special of course: it's basically all a gag reel, with less description and even faster pacing than the main novel series, which was pretty light on those already, being aptly enough a light novel. Kanzaka is just trying to have some mindless fun here.
But come on, it's still the Giga Slave, for crying out loud! It's the first time Lina ever uses this spell that she created, something which is even more powerful than the Dragon Slave, and could potentially destroy the world - and none of this is referenced for even a HALF-SENTENCE in the entire damn narrative! WHHHHHYYYYY????
So, picture yourself that you have to localize something like this. You know what this is, you know how great this could be - just how much you would dare to deviate from the original?
Thankfully, the main novels, being less about mindless comedy, are written in a manner that allows for a pretty good and faithful translation, if one tries hard enough. This, however, I could not do here. I just couldn't.
Hey, Tokyopop guys, I apparently just joined your ranks. I still think you could've done better, but otherwise I think it's time for me to get off the high horse. Without further ado, I present you:
The first casting of the Giga Slave in Slayers Special 13
(“Tokyopop Version”)
And now all the fish poachers were arrested.
Naga and I spent the remaining time enjoying the private beach while Lili, our employer, kept scolding us about random things that weren’t really important.
And on the last day…
…the time has come for me and Naga to get our well deserved payme--
“What do you mean by… ‘there isn’t any’…?” I stuttered. Standing in the villa’s veranda, our eyes grew to an unnatural size as we listened to our ever-so-benevolent employer’s rant.
“It’s as I said. Apparently, Mr. Zyark took the money from our safe to pay the fish poachers so they can buy sea urchins and crabs,” she told us. “We can pay you two no more than 10 gold pieces; if you’re not satisfied with that, you have to accompany me home, which will take a month, or wait here for a year until I earn enough money. If neither is acceptable, then I’m afraid I can’t give you any payment. So, what will you do?”
W-Wha… Whaaaat?!
I wasted my time running after these idiot fish poachers, endured all of Ms. Lili the Nitpicker Queen’s complaints, and now she wants to rip me off with a lousy 10 gold pieces?!
Or, of course… hehe, we can stick here, or escort her home, in both occasions working for free for at least a month… if not for a WHOLE YEAR! Huhuhu…
Hahaha… Okay, I get it… So fooling people into free labor is your game, huh?… Well, you are going to regret this… You’re going to regret this so much… Mwahahaha…
None of this evil plotting showed on my face of course - well, not much of it, anyway.
“All right,” I spoke in a neutral tone. “If you can’t afford any more than that, it can’t be helped.”
“W-Wait, Lina, what are you--?!” Naga complained incredulously, but I ignored her as usual.
I pointed resolutely at the beach which could be seen from the veranda. “Will you let me cast one spell over there to blow off some steam at least? I’m a bit upset right now.”
“Sure. If you can relieve some stress with it, go right ahead,” she answered with that big, rage-inducing smile of hers plastered all over her face.
Mwahaha… You got it.
I walked out of the veranda towards the beach at a slow pace, Lili and Naga trailing behind. They probably had no idea about what spell I would chant - in fact, they could not know about it. I never cast it before, you see. It’s a chant I created myself some time ago, but it looked a bit dangerous so I never actually tried it out.
Right now though, something dangerous was just what I needed, mwuhuhu…
With a small smirk in the corner of my lips, I closed my eyes and began the incantation.
“Darkness beyond blackest pitch… deeper than the deepest night…”
The spell seemed to drain me… well, like hell even at the very beginning of the chant. Not very good… But I would not let such trifles get in the way of my well-deserved revenge!
“Golden King of Darkness, who drifts upon the Sea of Chaos!”
Some kind of… rumble sounded from not far away. My eyes fluttered open.
Hey… what are all these storm clouds doing here all of a sudden?
“I call upon thee and swear myself to thee!”
“Err… Lina-chan?” I heard Naga’s whimpers from behind. She sounded terrified for some reason.
Scaredy-cat! It’s all in the name of research, I tell you! …that, and payback!
“Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed…”
But man, this payback is sucking my strength dry! What the heck is this spell?!
“…by the power you and I possess!”
I forced my blurring vision to focus on my outstretched hand. There was a sphere of utter darkness floating above my palm… the power radiating from it felt absolutely horrendous. By all sane means, I had to stop the incantation right now. Revenge was one thing, but it looked like I‘ve created a true monster here; who knows what it’ll do if I let it run loose. There was no other choice but to stop.
…
Yeah, right. You really fell for that, didn’t you?
“GIGA SLAVE!”
Responding to my will, the sphere disappeared from my hand, manifesting itself somewhere within the sea nearby.
Aaaand, I’m not sure what happened. A gigantic wave hit all three of us out of nowhere; it felt like the entire sea rained down upon our heads all at once. I couldn’t see or hear anything for a good while, but when the water finally subsided and I could sit up in the sand…
…the beach, and everything that surrounded it was gone. And when I say gone, I mean GONE. Without a trace.
Something wet and white stuck to my face. I realized it was my own hair.
A few steps behind me, Lili lay on the ground, sobbing.
Too bad, she was the one who allowed this - case closed. She might want to reconsider it next time.
Or, you know… next time, just pay the money you owe me!