You're breakin my heart you're tearin it apart so fuck you.

[pinyourwings19]

I never know what to talk about anymore i mean i don't ever do enough to talk about or tell if im not on the computer or working im most likely at heathers chillen. The last two times i spent the night i have gotten drunk last time was pretty much the worst we drank jim beam and southern comfort that shit was nasty it was bitter and sweet if thats even a good way to explain it i was so fucking gone i pueked maybe 3 times or thats what brit said. Heather was drunk to but she was crying and going on about how brandon didn't love her and shit like that she literally went on about it for like i dunno and or 2 not sure brit would know. I think they said i took my shirt off too lol i don't remember that much. The next day i felt like crap and i left at like 9 later on brit called me we talked for a bit she just asked me how i was feeling and stuff then she was like oh why did you tell your mom we were drinking and stuff and i was just like she pretty much knew i dunno how i guess she just suspected we would seeing in how they have there own place so why wouldn't they plus im 20 she knows im gunna experiment and shit like that. I also said no more liquor that stuff is not even cool the taste sucks and the way it makes me feel sucks. Im sticken with smirnoff next time we all drink which will not be for awhile cost way to much money and im not gunna put my hard earned cash into it i mean i would if we all went half but its harder for them cuz they have bills to pay and they need food and what not but like i said not again for awhile i don't need to feel like crap every single weekend or whatever.

Lets see what else... oh that mike guy i spoke about earlier you can just forget about him it didn't really work out and truly im glad it didn't i can do better.

So either next june or july i plan on making a trip out to iowa to seem my friend joe i know i mentioned it wayyyyyyyyy long ago but this time im actually determined to do so i need to go out in the world experiance what life has to offer and im 20 im old enough to travel now i know my mom will think its stupid but i've known joe for like 2 years and i think its high time we meet instead of randomly speaking over the phone or the internet now he can see who i really am dunno if its gunna be what he was hopeing but we will just have to see about that.

Im gunna call jim's driving school tomorrow i think so i can take some classes like i have been talking about and i can finally learn how to drive and not have my parents be my taxi and shit plus i do have enough for a car so that will be good it might be a pile of junk but its better then nothing and if it runs thats fine with me. Then i can move out knowing i don't have other people driving me everywhere i can come and go as i please that would be nice. Hopefully when i do move it can be near salvation army(thats if im still there) and maybe by jcc so i can go to college. Thats my new plan and damnit it will be made. I'm not gunna be a bum anymore fuck that shit.

well thats it for now write more when i get a life...