(no subject)

[pinsxnxneedles]

Everything is running by really fast and I don't have anytime to enjoy anything. I feel depressed, but I think I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. I feel alone, but I know I can call some one to come get me. I understand what's going on and at the same time I'm totally confused. I feel like going out and just doing something crazy, but I don't know where to start and I'm too nervous to pick up the phone and call *you-don't-know-who-and-I'm-not-telling-you.* I'm going to go insane! I don't want to be here right now, I want to go some where and do something and everything would be much easier if I were older because I would never be here when I didn't want to be. I just wish time would stop so I could figure out what I want to do. Then when I'm done deciding and doing my homework time can go on.
Please tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me I'm okay and everything is completely normal. I don't care if you lie this once because I need it right now. I feel so unorthodox and it's like I'm the only person not doing anything. I just want that thing inside of me to go away and never come back. I don't want to be lonely, but I want to be alone. I need time to do whatever it is that will make me feel better. The pressure on my brain is so intense I just want all the feeling in my body to go away right now. Everything needs to seep out of my mind and away from me, out of this house, out of my head, out of my heart, and out of my life.
The day is young.
Love always,
chelsea