I am obsessed with being in control of EVERYTHING.
I went to Sean's shindig, it was nice in a different way. To have a little while to not give a fuck about anything and say and do whatever I want feels good. Talking really loud, that's my thing nobody else likes it but it didn't stop me. The fact that everyone is so idealistic and worried about what every one thinks about them aggravates me. Everybody does it, some more than others, but it's all the same thing whether you do it all the time or just every once in a while. I wish everybody could just chill out and quit acting like they're too busy getting prepared for life to have fun. Relaxing to me seems pointless, sleeping in the middle of the day is lazy, and stressing over stuff that will eventually never matter, but make up a big portion of your life now is stupid. My idea of a perfect world would be like this without so many dumbasses having to screw everything up, less political division, legalization of gay marriage everywhere, and people who take time out to quit worrying about stuff and letting loose. Half of what I just wrote is not kosher with the other half, but whatever.
The only other things I have to add about the party is I woke up with a huge headache and smelling like body soil. I had to hear a lecture about how it's important to never drink and drive and how drinking is an adult action and you should always treat it like one without laughing. I ate something which was a big mistake and I felt like I was going to puke until 3:30 this afternoon. (Jason left me by the way, Sean's dad took Josh kidd and I home) I got home, took a shower, discovered I had four fresh bruises, and dug three pieces of glass out of my foot. I still can't stand up well or move my head very fast. The point I'm getting at is I love hangovers.
Now it's back to the real world. Where there is no escaping doing school work that will end up meaning nothing to you and learning music that is so easy it's hard to keep my mind on it. Where you don't wake up not knowing what happened the night before. A time when love costs more than materialistic things and when the United states is at the largest divide since the civil war. A time when we look at gas prices and know they're going to be like three dollars a gallon next year and minimum wage isn't going to get much higher. Back to a time where you eat more fast food than school lunches, back to everything and there's no escape. The real world is never going to be something you can run from for very long.
I think I'm going to be sick, so I have to go.
Love always,
chelsea
The only other things I have to add about the party is I woke up with a huge headache and smelling like body soil. I had to hear a lecture about how it's important to never drink and drive and how drinking is an adult action and you should always treat it like one without laughing. I ate something which was a big mistake and I felt like I was going to puke until 3:30 this afternoon. (Jason left me by the way, Sean's dad took Josh kidd and I home) I got home, took a shower, discovered I had four fresh bruises, and dug three pieces of glass out of my foot. I still can't stand up well or move my head very fast. The point I'm getting at is I love hangovers.
Now it's back to the real world. Where there is no escaping doing school work that will end up meaning nothing to you and learning music that is so easy it's hard to keep my mind on it. Where you don't wake up not knowing what happened the night before. A time when love costs more than materialistic things and when the United states is at the largest divide since the civil war. A time when we look at gas prices and know they're going to be like three dollars a gallon next year and minimum wage isn't going to get much higher. Back to a time where you eat more fast food than school lunches, back to everything and there's no escape. The real world is never going to be something you can run from for very long.
I think I'm going to be sick, so I have to go.
Love always,
chelsea