Matt Walsh will have you know he got his PhD in Mermaid Science at Trump University
I ignore a lot of the more egregiously stupid culture war bullshit coming from the right these days, because I think most of it is bait. They want to get liberals and progressives mad, they want to get in the news cycle, they want to keep yanking that Overton Window to the right until it's on the fucking moon.
I also made a decision, when I decided to come back to LJ, that I wasn't going to write about political topics as much as I used to. I know there are a lot of old white people and mushy centrists left on LJ, and no one's paying me for the emotional labor of being the Boomer Whisperer, so I'm just not going to do it.
That said, while until now I have ignored the entirely predictable outrage over Black Ariel in the live-action Little Mermaid coming from the usual dumb Nazi incels, this, in the words of Robert Downey Jr. in Zodiac, can no longer be ignored:
Matt Walsh Into Little Mermaids So White You Can See Their Skulls, What's Your Kink?
(And because this always seems to come up whenever I link Wonkette on social media, no, they are not "satire". They are extremely sarcastic and they make dick jokes, but the stories they report on are real, and they always link back to either the source or "credible" media outlets in their articles.)
Not only should Ariel not have dark skin, according to Dr. Matt Walsh, Mermaid Sciencetician, but
I mean, if anything, not only should the Little Mermaid be pale, she should, actually, be translucent. If you look at deep sea creatures, they're, like, translucent. They have no, kind of, pigmentation whatsoever. And they're just, like, these horrifying -- they look like skeletons floating around in the ocean. That's what the Little Mermaid should look like. She should be totally pale and skeletal where you can see her skull through her face.
And this is where I pictured a theater full of horrified tween girls screaming at a terrifying skull-face/wishbone hybrid version of Ariel floating around in the ocean and then laughed myself to death.
Goodbye, I'm dead.
These stupid assholes are beyond parody.