I don't drink... wine.
I watched the BBC's updated dramatisation of Dracula last night, which starred David Suchet (Hercule Poirot) as Van Helsing and Marc Warren (recently Mr Teatime in "Terry Pratchett's Hogfather") as the Count himself. The BBC have given it a different spin involving syphilis and a Dracula cult but for some reason I was in a Daily Mail sort of mood and kept thinking of the whole thing in terms of that paper's hate-spewing headlines:
"Foreign Toffs Buying Up Prime Land!" as Dracula acquires properties in Highgate and Chelsea.
"Illegal Immigrants Spreading Blood Disease!" as Dracula turns another victim into an undead vampire.
"Eastern Europeans Demand English Marriage!" as Dracula seduces Lucy Westenra and Mina Harker.
Not a bad programme though.
"Foreign Toffs Buying Up Prime Land!" as Dracula acquires properties in Highgate and Chelsea.
"Illegal Immigrants Spreading Blood Disease!" as Dracula turns another victim into an undead vampire.
"Eastern Europeans Demand English Marriage!" as Dracula seduces Lucy Westenra and Mina Harker.
Not a bad programme though.