(no subject)
The point is that I’m not feeling great. I’m sure Christmas normally does this to people but I don’t even care about Christmas. Yesterday I got in a car accident, which was barely anything but a little accident. I also got a visit from Buck, and a night with Jason. Last night was great, but there is still one big part of my life that sucks. I’m not happy with myself and I’m not happy with my friends and I’m just not motivated to do much of anything right now. I’ve been cleaning my room, which just reminds me that I own too many things I don’t really want and everything is starting to feel scattered. Going out with friends, well, that just turns into a lot of blood. Perhaps I’m being too sensitive but I don’t think best friends should always criticize you and the things you’re involved with. It would be fine if I felt she actually cared about me anymore, but it’s so one sided these days. So one sided that I can’t even get in a car accident without it being me being mean to her. I give up, I’m not happy enough to care about other peoples feeling much more or do things for other people. I think what I need to do is just put most of what I own away into this room and move back into my car and move back out into people. I’ve been neglecting them even if they don’t really care about me that much.