fuck up
I know i shouldn't have but i text him.......i text him after a few drinks on sunday night telling him how i wish i didn't feel and then i told him he was lucky because he got to make all the decisions.....i think that probably made him mad....i told him i was sad too. I haven't heard from him since, i text him last night saying i missed him but nothing back. I wish i hadn't text him but i'm so scared of him forgetting me, i haven't felt this low in a long time, probably since before i met him....i really don't want to head down that road again:(
I keep going through everything again, where did the love go? I feel sick at the thought of anything and i can't stop crying....even in work. I don't know why he doesn't want me anymore, he doesn't even want to know me it seems.
I feel so ugly,fat and just such a horrible person i don't want to go anywhere or do anything i just want to stay indoors so no one has to put up with me....i keep thinking i must be horrible for him not to want me anymore:(
I'm sure he's moved on by now, i don't deserve anything anymore anyway.....i'm glad i'll be moving out soon as no one will have to be around me then, i can't believe how stupid i was to think he loved me and wanted to move in with me. Who would?!