Why does it always happen right after I decide I want to fix things too?
Katie broke up with me today.
Well, really it was a mutual thing. She said she wanted to be single and I said I didn't have a problem with it. Maybe I should have fought harder...
But I'm tired of fighting. When we started dating I promised myself that I wouldn't let it happen the way it did last time. That if she wanted out, that was it, she would be out. And... I kept that promise.
I'm proud of myself for that, at least, but damn, does this hurt. Katie was the first person I've ever dated who was so independent. She could be a little bossy, but she stood up for herself. She stood up for me, too. She was there when I had a problem, and when I needed help with something she could usually help me. Plus she was always just so nice over all, and I always felt like I could talk to her about anything.
Well, then I moved, and we started seeing more of each other. Problems inevitably developed. I wasn't able to talk to her as easily IRL, and she was a bit upset over that. But it still wasn't really a problem. And then she went to school. Being here while she was gone, it felt almost like I'd been cheated. I was here to be with her, but she wasn't here. But, we still managed to get along all right, and if there was a problem we made up.
Until now, of course. This fall I actually started going back to school, and I started working overnights. So not only was she gone, but I was gone too. Neither one of us had any time to ourselves, and we certainly didn't have time for each other. For a while, I thought seriously about whether I should just end the relationship. In the end, though, I figured me and Katie had a history, we had gotten along so well before, and maybe it was just that we were busy. So I figured maybe I would just see where things go.
Well, turns out Katie felt the same way and she doesn't want to see where things go. So now, here I am. I don't think we should have broken up, I really felt that we could have saved our relationship. But what I feel doesn't matter if the other person doesn't feel the same way. And Katie doesn't feel that way about me, anymore, I guess.
So in the end, here I am. Alone again. I'm crushed, but I'm not sad. I'll probably be sad later, when it finally hits me that it's really over.
Well, really it was a mutual thing. She said she wanted to be single and I said I didn't have a problem with it. Maybe I should have fought harder...
But I'm tired of fighting. When we started dating I promised myself that I wouldn't let it happen the way it did last time. That if she wanted out, that was it, she would be out. And... I kept that promise.
I'm proud of myself for that, at least, but damn, does this hurt. Katie was the first person I've ever dated who was so independent. She could be a little bossy, but she stood up for herself. She stood up for me, too. She was there when I had a problem, and when I needed help with something she could usually help me. Plus she was always just so nice over all, and I always felt like I could talk to her about anything.
Well, then I moved, and we started seeing more of each other. Problems inevitably developed. I wasn't able to talk to her as easily IRL, and she was a bit upset over that. But it still wasn't really a problem. And then she went to school. Being here while she was gone, it felt almost like I'd been cheated. I was here to be with her, but she wasn't here. But, we still managed to get along all right, and if there was a problem we made up.
Until now, of course. This fall I actually started going back to school, and I started working overnights. So not only was she gone, but I was gone too. Neither one of us had any time to ourselves, and we certainly didn't have time for each other. For a while, I thought seriously about whether I should just end the relationship. In the end, though, I figured me and Katie had a history, we had gotten along so well before, and maybe it was just that we were busy. So I figured maybe I would just see where things go.
Well, turns out Katie felt the same way and she doesn't want to see where things go. So now, here I am. I don't think we should have broken up, I really felt that we could have saved our relationship. But what I feel doesn't matter if the other person doesn't feel the same way. And Katie doesn't feel that way about me, anymore, I guess.
So in the end, here I am. Alone again. I'm crushed, but I'm not sad. I'll probably be sad later, when it finally hits me that it's really over.