Let's see how many friends I keep =p
♫ ♪ "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess i'll go eat worms..." ♪ ♫
So I've already lost several friends (well, LJ acquaintances) because they saw I had certain notorious 'elitists' on my flist, and now I've lost all contact with one alleged elitist who doesn't trust me because of certain others who are still on my list... and the ironic thing is, this individual is the very one who caused those others to drop me previously... If this keeps up, I will eventually have eliminated all LJ contacts because they've seen each other on my friends list and don't want anything to do with me because of it. Outcast by everyone FTW!
Truthfully, most of the people on my list are not even mild acquaintances, let alone friends. Some of them I added because many have friends-only journals and I liked what they said in a community or commented in someone else's journal, and was curious to see more. Many were added from FVT forum when everyone gave out their LJ and MySpace info and I added them all. Some were added simply because when I was bored and searched interests, I found these people who had like half their interests list in common with mine. There are only a handful who I know very well at all. There are some who, the more I find out about them, the less I like.
In my past history, I've been the outcast of whatever school, neighbourhood, or whatever group I found myself the misfit member of... people sense when someone is different and it makes them extremely uncomfortable. For as far back as I can remember, I've been treated like some sort of freak... you'd think my name was John Merrick. I just didn't have to wear the sheet over my head. =p It didn't help that my family believed children should be neither seen nor heard, so the resulting shyness and inability to socialise was painfully debilitating.
Only since moving out of my parents' home did I begin to become more social. It's been a difficult process, having been conditioned to expect rejection. Also it has been a long slow evolution as I have learned to be more more tolerant of people's differences, forgiving of their faults. It is natural to be drawn to those who are like us, so we tend to reject any who are too different in personality, character, beliefs, etc. For me, it's something I have really wanted to learn, to be understanding of all types of people. It takes all kinds to make a world, and we are stuck here on this material plane with all these varied complex individuals... there must be a reason for this diversity right? So I am trying to learn the value in this.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME:
If you have a very narrow view of people, if you require that someone be just like you, like what/who you like, hate what/who you hate, feel/think/believe everything you do, then feel free to drop me from your friends list or even your memory right now. I am rather a complex personality (or I daresay personalities) and so much a combination of interests/ideas/beliefs, I can guarantee that you will disapprove of or be offended by me for one reason or another.
I can also guarantee that someone will appear on my silly little LJ flist that you won't like. I am not best buddies with these people, most of them I don't even know; but I do try to deal with all kinds of people, it is a part of my social education to coexist with all kinds, including those I don't approve of 100%. I can tell you right now, I do not agree with everything they say or do. I have several people friended right now who are absolutely at odds with each other for one reason or another. It's disturbing to me, because I hate dissension and wish everyone could get along, but that's just not realistic. So I don't interfere, unless someone tries to pull me into their hostilities, and then I'll have to tell them what I really think.
That leads to another point. I try not to get involved in people's personal issues, it's between them and not my business. BUT if someone brings it up to me, I will tell him/her, in private, what I think. And if you are foolish enough to bring it up, and then get offended when I tell you the truth, you can piss off right now. YOU brought it up, don't get all pissed off at me because I don't say "oh yesyesyes you're absolutely right oh she's such a bitch blah blah blah" - I am no hypocrit and I will tell you the unvarnished truth. Doesn't mean I'm attacking you or anything, just I don't kiss anybody's ass or tell them what they want to hear. That should actually make you feel GOOD, knowing that you can trust what I say. If you can't appreciate that, goodbye.
Also, I do not like gossips or bullies. If you want to shit-talk someone and go on endlessly about it, don't be surpised if I change the subject, object openly if I think you're being unfair, or even end our association if you make a habit of it. Do you know these things for a fact? Were you there? If you are accusing someone of lying, what proof do you have? I am not interested in rumours or mean-spirited gossip, and I especially despise it when throngs of people gang up on a single individual and trash-talk him/her. It is my nature to defend the underdog, so even if someone is wrong, 100 people all ganging up to ridicule one individual is infinitely more wrong... therefore he/she automatically earns my empathy. Take it somewhere else or don't be surprised when I tell you, not too gently, to put a cork in it.
I am an eclectic christo-pagan. This means I respect the person and teachings of the real-life philosopher/teacher/avatar Y'shua aka Jesus, believe in the Cosmic Christ or Christ Spirit, but certainly hold too many pagan views to be accepted by the vast majority of christians. If you are a pagan, I probably relate to the majority of your beliefs. If you are a buddhist, you'll probably relate to me more than just about anyone else. If you are a christian, following modernday so-called christianity as espoused by most christian churches today, you will probably be disgusted with me. If you are a pagan or atheist who bristles at the mere mention of the word "Christ" or "christian", you'll be repulsed by me as well. If you cannot tolerate people with differing beliefs or are one of those christians who believes it is your duty to run around converting everyone, piss off right now, and thanks.
I personally do not approve of slasher fanfics involving real people. Or any other representation of a real human being, depicted in any way that is offensive or out-of-character. Roleplay or fictions that do justice to the reality of the person, fine. But anything that would embarrass or upset the person IF they did read it, I do not personally feel comfortable with. I do not understand how someone can consider herself a "fan" of Yoshiki, say she "LOVEs" him, and then write gay scenarios with him and hide and post it publically online. Ok, that just, to me is unfathomable. I will not attack or condemn you personally, but occasionally I may mention it, as I am admitting it now. If this bothers you, that I happen to disagree with your fanfic ideals, by all means drop me. I feel that if I can tolerate your writing the stuff, you should be able to tolerate my dislike of it... but hey, if that's how you feel, sayonara arrivederci.
I personally believe that if you can afford to do so - and be honest with yourself here - you should support the artists you claim to LOVE, by actually buying some cds. Download to get samples, to see if you like the band, sure. Download to keep temporarily until you can get the actual cd, sure. But to exclusively download ALL your music simply because you are too cheap and selfish to fork over 14 bucks for a cd, you have no right to call yourself a fan. If you love the band so much, show your appreciation by opening up your wallet. That is my personal belief. Am I not entitled to it? That makes me an "elitist"? Are you f*cking kidding me? Did I go onto your journal and reprimand you for it? Did I ever reprimand anyone, in forum, community, or anywhere else? No. I simply stated my feelings on the matter. The subject comes up only occasionally, but when it does come up, that is what I will say. Does this offend you terribly? Then feel free to drop me. I will not be insulted, I promise you. Well, if you leave a comment telling me "Imma download EVERYTHING on the entire internetz MUAHAHAHA IH8U go die you elitist bitch RAAAAWWWR" then I might be a wee bit insulted. But yeah.
That's all I can think of right now. If I remember any more, I will add to this later. Will I have anyone left? I don't know. But I guess it's best that we all find out now. If anyone wants to dump me, no ill feelings and it was nice knowing you. Maybe.
Anybody left out there? *peers out into the darkness* Hmmm? Anyone?