Whats Special About Today?
Im a bit shaken due to the fact that I just saw the shadow of a plane that seemed like it was only ten feet above my apartment building. And it sounded as if it might crash right down the street. But it didnt. And I was left wondering if it was all in my imagination.
So now Ive made it through two weeks of Uni but its been a rocky start. Even though I am a junior, I still dont get the classes I need so every semester Im left frantically trying to add/drop classes. It didnt work out the way that I wanted it to this session, but its just my kind of luck. All the classes seem to be interesting now that Im taking some upper level and art classes. At least they are appealing to me... well except for Spanish. Spanish can just fuck off.
I read that last pathetic entry I wrote about having hope. Oh, why didnt someone just smack me in the head? I shouldve known better. You know what... I fucking did know better. But there was something inside of me making me feel like I should go against my better judgement. Love makes me so stupid.
Im still struggling with the fact that Im in the US. On campus I see people that I think are other people. But they are not my friends. Those people I think I see are very far away, and there is no way they are walking around on my campus. When I was in Australia I used to "see" my friends from here all over the place. It wasnt sad the way its sad here. When I was in Australia, I knew Id be back in Keene in 5 months. But now that wonderful place is so distant to me and Im scared that it will be too long before I get back there.
That fucking plane went by again!
It is my home. My heart is there. I am living without my heart. I'd rather be living without my arm.
How the hell will I make it through the rest of this year?
So now Ive made it through two weeks of Uni but its been a rocky start. Even though I am a junior, I still dont get the classes I need so every semester Im left frantically trying to add/drop classes. It didnt work out the way that I wanted it to this session, but its just my kind of luck. All the classes seem to be interesting now that Im taking some upper level and art classes. At least they are appealing to me... well except for Spanish. Spanish can just fuck off.
I read that last pathetic entry I wrote about having hope. Oh, why didnt someone just smack me in the head? I shouldve known better. You know what... I fucking did know better. But there was something inside of me making me feel like I should go against my better judgement. Love makes me so stupid.
Im still struggling with the fact that Im in the US. On campus I see people that I think are other people. But they are not my friends. Those people I think I see are very far away, and there is no way they are walking around on my campus. When I was in Australia I used to "see" my friends from here all over the place. It wasnt sad the way its sad here. When I was in Australia, I knew Id be back in Keene in 5 months. But now that wonderful place is so distant to me and Im scared that it will be too long before I get back there.
That fucking plane went by again!
It is my home. My heart is there. I am living without my heart. I'd rather be living without my arm.
How the hell will I make it through the rest of this year?