Belly Ache
So, I hate my life. I hate it. My boyfriend drives me crazy, I used to love my life. Wished I had a boyfriend to share it with, but enjoyed it highly more than I do now. My boyfriend drives me nuts. Sunday, he found my phonebook, I took it away from him 3 times. Telling him to stop looking at it cause he is a jealous asshole. What does he do? Goes in my room and starts scribbling Mike's name out. Today I am in a happy mood,because as of late I have been in a sad one and he tells me his friend is having a BBQ and he doesnt want to get shitfaced and hung over so if we get bored we can go bowling. I thought he was talking about going, then later on go bowling. So I was happy, it means I don't have to pack anymore. Which I am very sick of.No he said he wasn't going( which he probably told them I am the reason he isn't going) and that he is staying in Grand Blanc. I am sick of doing what HE wants. He asks me if I wanted to go to Grand Blanc, I said" I was thinking of maybe we could go to goodwill in midland on saturday" and he got mad at me. saying " well if you are staying in Saginaw, fine. I am going to stay here. so you know where I am. I was hoping to pick you up tomorrow" But I dont want to be picked up tomorrow. I want to stay here, and hang with my sister. I haven't done that in a while. I had other relationships before you, one with my sister. Since he won't let me hang with my friends ( even tho he said he does HA!) I tell Rob the truth so I can maybe stop hating him or recentting him, and he gives me a guilt trip and tried to start a fight. And he wonders why I never tell him anything. The truth is, ever since last Sunday when I was crying telling him" i need you, i cannot stop crying, i am going to hurt myself" and he just saying" well when I needed you, you werent there for me. so fuck off" made me fall out of love with him. I feel like i am lieing telling him i love him cuz honestly IDK. I am not looking at him the same way. my skin crawls when he makes me touch him. i roll my eyes when he text me" i miss you i love you, why dont you tell me any more?" he acts like a insecure 15 year old girl. he told me he loved and missed me today. i didnt say it back. he goes" did you get that text i sent saying i love and miss you?" i go" yeah i miss n love u too" he goes" i hate it when you dont say it back right away to me" last night he goes " i love you!" i go"i love you too" he goes" what i dont get a "!"? i ignored him. NO YOU DONT. fuuuuck. I seriously hate my boyfriend. or my life. either way it isn't good. It fucks with my mood, and it fucks with my school work. All I wanna do is sleep and ignore my life. I get belly aches cause of the stress of making sure I don't rock the boat by telling the truth. I seriously hate my life!