no more career-speculation, thank god
So I woke up at 5 am today and went to the Toronto Star workshop. Real journalistos, whippet-thin and edgy, talking and cursing...it was fabulously exciting. I won't pretend to be all cool and blase about this....it was enlightening, inspiring and everything else that you would expect.
When I was a little girl I dreamed of writing stories for the rest of my life, and this past year has only accelerated my lust. I know I'm going to starve for the rest of my life (and the skinniness of most Star reporters only serves to prove that all writers go hungry, even after having achieved modest rewards!) And I will never be "successful". But I need to be reporting and writing forever and ever until I die. I literally can't do anything else, and moreover I can't fathom doing anything else. This is my function in the world.
Good Journal-news: Erik Gaustad (AMS VP of the moment) has put away the hideous proposals for the moment. He was scared into conciliation after the Ottawa Citizen and Globe and Mail called his offices and berated him for attempting to undermine the autonomy of a newspaper. This will never end, but for the moment, the greasy mechanisms of the AMS have been silenced. I'm incredibly relieved and exhausted but also I can't help feeling silly, like we over-reacted or something. Still, it was wonderful to see how many people were in our court. Thanks, seriously, for all the support and kind words, especially from those who have experienced this sort of situation with either the AMS or other newspapers. It has meant so much to all of us.
On a less cheesy and more horrific note, I know someone out there saw the movie Capturing the Friedmans. If so, I require solace. Maybe it's five hours of sleep giving my brain the consistency of brie, but that movie left me feeling spiritually raped (for lack of a better word, ergh)...and I'm now seized with this paralytic fear that I've never known before, and I hope it goes away soon, cause I need to sleep.... sort of in a good way...I THINK it's a good film...but I'm too stunned to dissect it properly. Please, help, I desperately need to talk about it with someone. Go rent it, too.
When I was a little girl I dreamed of writing stories for the rest of my life, and this past year has only accelerated my lust. I know I'm going to starve for the rest of my life (and the skinniness of most Star reporters only serves to prove that all writers go hungry, even after having achieved modest rewards!) And I will never be "successful". But I need to be reporting and writing forever and ever until I die. I literally can't do anything else, and moreover I can't fathom doing anything else. This is my function in the world.
Good Journal-news: Erik Gaustad (AMS VP of the moment) has put away the hideous proposals for the moment. He was scared into conciliation after the Ottawa Citizen and Globe and Mail called his offices and berated him for attempting to undermine the autonomy of a newspaper. This will never end, but for the moment, the greasy mechanisms of the AMS have been silenced. I'm incredibly relieved and exhausted but also I can't help feeling silly, like we over-reacted or something. Still, it was wonderful to see how many people were in our court. Thanks, seriously, for all the support and kind words, especially from those who have experienced this sort of situation with either the AMS or other newspapers. It has meant so much to all of us.
On a less cheesy and more horrific note, I know someone out there saw the movie Capturing the Friedmans. If so, I require solace. Maybe it's five hours of sleep giving my brain the consistency of brie, but that movie left me feeling spiritually raped (for lack of a better word, ergh)...and I'm now seized with this paralytic fear that I've never known before, and I hope it goes away soon, cause I need to sleep.... sort of in a good way...I THINK it's a good film...but I'm too stunned to dissect it properly. Please, help, I desperately need to talk about it with someone. Go rent it, too.