gifting
Had a bit of a heated discussion with a friend tonight about my #1 reason for disliking the holiday season: gifting culture clashes. I'd be tempted to make my main question here "are my experiences honestly THAT atypical?" if I hadn't just come across this on the Miss Manners feed: Miss Manners says "time to squelch company Secret Santa programs.
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I am answering your questions even though I think you already know my answers and I am not sure you want more of my view on this lol.
What does your gifting culture look like, and do you ever have dustups over giving with folks from a clearly different sort of giving system?
My gift culture: Give freely, expect nothing in return. I don't even expect a 'thank you' when I send gifts. I occassionally will ask if something got there, but anymore nowdays I tend to know if I hand it to someone and get a delivery conf. if I mail it, that way I don't have to ask someone if they got something. Gifts are everyday life to me. I see something in the store my friends or my family would like and I buy it if I can-I actually budget it into my entertainment budget because I am lame ROFLOL. I constantly send cards just to say hello to people-and I buy a lot more than a send because somehow I am bad at sticking cards in the mail. I mail cards to my niece and nephew in the same town as me just so they can get mail because I know it makes them happy. I am very bad at accepting gifts, though, because I always think I am not worth the time or effort. I still cannot grasp the concept of a gift not being a gift but an obligation.
As for if I have dustups...well, usually not. But if someone has a distaste for gifts for any reason I don't want to shove it in thier face and emotionally rape them just so I get a thrill in giving something to them.
Do you give gifts to family and to friends? I do and often, not just at special occassions.
Have you changed the way you handle friend gifts within the last few years? It hasn't. I give gifts to some of my friends out of habbit. Some get artwork because that's what they love. My best friend gets something I work on all year or something she asks for. A lot of people get cards and appreciation notes from me. I will not go into debt for anyone though, unless it was an emergency situation that called for actions above and beyond, in which case I would do whatever it took.
What about company gifts? I get a bonus and give a little something and card to my boss. That's it.
Are you okay with whatever system your job uses for gift-giving, or not? Yup, bonuses are nice.
Edit: Oh yeah, and take turning 30 out of your special birthday category. I do that next year and I DO NOT want to think about it now, it's not even 2008 yet. I think you should change it to turning 100!!! That is a milestone. LOL.
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