(no subject)
I've been in a strange mood for the past few days. I'm not really depressed, or even "funky", but I am bracing myself and I can't (or won't) begin to explain why. I guess my subconscious is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't really argue with me brain on this one. The shoe -always- drops. I've come to expect it. I don't deserve it and I know this but I expect it nevertheless. I've been trained well. Regardless of what's true my spidey senses are tingling and I know myself well enough to realize they are usually dead on. Do I want to talk about it? Nope. Like always it's my hopes that I'm wrong and man it would be good for that to be the case. Just once. ::sigh:: "Time is a lie and so for that matter is patience" words to live by Mz Prankster.
That was not meant to be angsty just honest words that needed to purge themselves somewhere and it may as well be here!
::driving through::
In addition the artistic senses have been beating down the pixie doors and what's frustrating is having NO time to explore these urges. I have ideas for photography that I am looking to try and I've been feeling the umph to pick up a paint brush again. No time, no time. I've been too busy being creative for other people. I've had a pretty full shooting schedule these days. I did a shoot for the most fabulous BeBe S Bellamont last Friday for her infrared color project. I haven't been this pleased in a while! They have had a good response so far and her presence delightfully brings out my creative side. I suppose she's a muse of mine. Not my first, not my last, but its heart warming!
Monday night brought another shoot by a very kind man whose name I will not mention here out of respect. His port is interesting, and was a very kind and professional man, but aspects of the shoot and our different personalities were wearing thin on me by the nights end. In his defense I had much on my brain that evening so maybe my tolerance level was lower then usual. He found me charming or at least seemed to so I was able to put on a kind face at the least. He was having issues with his camera when we went to start. I can understand his frustration on this. It was a nice camera and nobody likes it when big expensive things stop working. I was all dressed up, hair and make up was finished, lighting was set up in the studio, and POOF! No working camera. I get it. Sadly with things like cameras you never know there broken until you go to use them and when they don't work it will -never- be at a convenient time. I felt bad for the guy, I truly did. His behavior about it quickly was getting on my nerves. I asked him if he had another camera which he didn't (at least not a professional one) so I offered to come back another time. No hard feelings, but it wasn't right to waste his time or mine if quality work wasn't going to come out of it. This man was HELL BENT on shooting me come hell or high water. He was convinced that I would find him completely unprofessional due to the incident and would never reschedule. Truthfully I would have, it was what he continued to do that will make me reconsider in the future. He began frantically looking for any piece of crap he could get his hands on to shoot me with, despite me pleading with him not to trouble himself. I am sitting at his kitchen table putting away my license when he comes in with an older then dirt digital camera and starts randomly shooting me and trying to direct me. It was puzzling. I explained to him several times that the camera wasn't "clicking" and I didn't think it was actually taking anything (the POS didn't have a view screen to tell) and after much convincing I was able to get him to attempt to bring the pics up on his computer. I was right, not working. I -again- assure him we can reschedule and he continues to tear through things around his house looking for any cheap substitute he can find. Finally he resurfaces with a dust covered, older then dirt, 35mm camera (for serious) and escorts me to the studio. ::sigh:: After a series of what I am sure were terrible photos he becomes worried that the film isn't actually winding and opens that camera exposing the film. ::head desk:: He then at long last agrees to reschedule. I am in the next room changing back into my street clothes listening to him shuffling around and trying to change fast before he gets any other "ideas." Then I hear a click. Oh gods.....
..."Faith, your never going to believe this.." his camera was working again. He asked me if I would mind changing (again) and returning to the studio. At this point I was in no mood, but seeing as it clearly meant so much to him I didn't say no. I returned and I am currently waiting for what will likely be...not my best work.
So tomorrow morning I shoot again! Outside of Baltimore warehouses and other icky parts of the city. I am shooting with Jerel J whose port I've had my eye on for sometime! We are going to be using 300 and Sin City style edits for this one. I've been feeling less then attractive lately so I hope I can live up to his expectations because he, above all, is bad ass!
Speaking of shooting. Sunday? Back to Pittsburgh with the lovely Arwen. I am up for the lead in a vampire film and we are driving up there for auditions. If I am cast I will have to spend a lot of weekends in Pittsburgh but my travel expenses will be paid and I will also be getting paid for the work. Plus think of the exposure! I've always wanted a leading role! I have to spend as much free time as I can over the next two days rehearsing!
Speaking of Pittsburgh/shooting, I received half of the photos from a Pittsburgh shoot back in October! Sadly my computer will not upload photos from DVD but erin_sunde said she would e mail them to me because she is made of awesome! I looked at them on my large ass TV the other night and there where a few pics I am actually not too critical of in terms of my whale like appearance. I'll be posting them soonish!
Speaking of Erin, she and Panzer came over Wednesday for our first Mythbusters and noodles night without our Michael. :( We miss him <3333 But I learned a little something about myself that night. I can cook! Who knew? Well, I can heat french fries at the least. Actually I can't as they were slightly undercooked but I can make cheeseburgers! I love me some vegan food but I decided to treat E&P along with my new roomie to a meat feast. I made thick arse burgers marinated in tasty goodness with bacon, onions, and cheeeeeese! Reactions were positive! Two days later everyone is still alive and no complaints of stomach cramps combined with diarrhea were reported. Erin even used the expression "best burger ever". I may actually give this thing a go for a few weeks although Erin offered to cook. I've been craving pumpkin ginger soup ever since I had it for the first time over the summer. I may attempt it next week with some sort of "Asian" main course. Dear gods I'm becoming domestic. I've begun bringing fresh flowers in the apartment and have been spending more and more time at home watching TLC. You may laugh at will!
-I am.