T&T Trip for Two Tour 2015 - Nagoya
♡NAGOYA★
TSUBASA'S MPREG FANFICTION
September 24th
I was going to be more thorough with this one, but the MC was massively detailed, so! Just the MC this time. But I promise it's more than detailed enough to make up for the absence of the rest. ;D
• Treasure Hunting
• ギラメラ (Giramera)
• Hey Now!
• Venus
• ラブ・スパイラル (Love Spiral)
• We Are the T&T
• T&T Battle Call
• Opening MC
• 山手線内回り (Yamanote-sen Uchimawari)
This is the day they decided to prove they can do the rapid-fire station exchange live. They got through the whole thing, the audience cheered, and Tsubasa took this as permission to spend the rest of the tour fucking it up on purpose. \:D/
• 時間旅行second (Jikan Ryoko second)
• Can do! Can Go!
• 山の手線内回り(Yamanote-sen Uchimawari) -while wearing Jr costumes
• ビバビバモーレ (Viva Viva More)
• パピプペヤッポ (Pa Pi Pu Pe Yappo)
• 灼熱の律動 (Shakunetsu no Ritsudou)
• 小悪魔ジュリエット (Koakuma Juliet)
• Number! One! Only! One!
• MC
This MC has gone down in my head as one of the top five MCs I've ever seen from any group ever. So, y'know, just to raise some unrealistic expectations right off the bat.
Anywho!
I have a theory behind this MC. My theory goes like this: after Fukuoka's MC, the Period of Pregnant Pauses, Tsubasa said to their concerned staff, "Don't worry, everyone, I've got this. Just gimme a whiteboard and a chair and the unbridled freedom to say whatever I want without interruption."
And for some reason, they did.
From the first few minutes, though, you wouldn't think this would be anything memorable. In fact, it was shaping up to be a pretty bland MC. They asked the audience if they had any questions and a woman asked what they had for lunch. I hear fans ask Johnny's this question a lot, which is either because it's 1. the first thing that pops into their heads, or 2. a very subtle but calculated question. This time I'd lean more toward the second because it actually led them to talking about Tsubasa's cooking and Takki declaring that at some point during the tour, he wants to eat some Tsubasa-made ramen (which Tsubasa'd talked about in his blog around that time).
It was pretty cute, and some fans went, "Ooooh!" and Tsubasa looked pleased with himself and I thought, "Aw, cute."
Then things got great.
They brought up the kiss from Music Station (because of course they did).
Takki described it thus:
"In rehearsal, we practiced it like Tsubasa would be all feminine as if he were the female host. So I'd introduce KAT-TUN like Tamori and then he'd go, 'Douzo~!' like the female host. But during the real thing, I suddenly saw his face very close to mine out of the corner of my eye. And I kept thinking, 'No way. No way, this is a live broadcast!' I thought he would stop at the last second. And then...it was warm."
Tsubasa added, helpfully, "He tastes sweet." Then, to the fans, smiling, "Please don't worry. Because I love him."
The fans cheered.
Takki continued, "I mean, it was fine but..."
A few fans yelled, "It was!"
Takki said, "I was focusing on my introduction! So the timing was kind of... Real [kiss] Faaeee-!"
The audience laughed and applauded.
Takki continued, "I bet you all saw me and thought, 'He's so happy!'"
Tsubasa said, "Yeah, and you were~"
Takki laughed, "I was not!"
Tsubasa turned to the audience and said, "What do you all think?"
Takki said, "Imai-san, don't be so hasty with that!"
The audience went, "Whooooo~!" proving definitively that no one believed Takki wasn't over the moon delighted that Tsubasa kissed him on national TV.
What did that look like again?
OH YES. :D
I love you, The Internet.
Tsubasa explained, "Well, KinKi do that onstage all the time. So I wanted to follow in thier footsteps. I thought, 'I'll do it live, in front of the whole country!'"
Takki, still amused, said, "You've started a precedent for our appearances on Music Station now, you know."
Then the audience started to chant, "One more time! One more time!"
Both of them waved us off and finally Tsubasa said firmly, "All of you listen to me. Beloved husbands. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Sons. All of you going, 'One more time, one more time!'" He mimicked the audience, clapping and pitching his voice weird. "A kiss involves consideration, deep thought. If I did it here, my kiss would be meaningless."
Takki nodded. "Exactly."
The audience gave a resounding, disappointed, "Ehhh."
Takki said firmly, "It'd be cheap. Cheap."
Tsubasa added, "The bond between us isn't that cheap."
The audience gave a heartier, encouraging, "Whoooo!"
Takki gave Tsubasa a look and said, "So we're going in that direction now? We were working so hard in the other direction."
Tsubasa then brought up their costumes on Music Station. "We sang Venus, and we wore white suits. Did you all understand the meaning behind that?"
The audience shouted no.
Tsubasa continued, "Well, back when we released Venus, we wore white suits to do promotion and no one cares about this, do they?" He shifted so quickly he didn't even change his tone of voice. XD
Takki hastily said, "Imai-san, that's not it. They're just reacting like, 'Ohh I see.'" Takki placating him. XD
Then things got awesome.
Tsubasa said, "So I bet for a lot of you, you think, 'Ah, he'd be a great husband,' or, 'He'd be a great boyfriend,' right?" The audience didn't really react, so Tsubasa said, "Ooor not."
Takki took over. "Well, there are also people who think, 'He'd be a good older brother,' or, 'He'd be a good boss,' right?"
Tsubasa nodded. "Indeed! So let's make a family!"
A staff person brought in a whiteboard and another staff person brought in a chair. Tsubasa picked up a marker from the whiteboard tray, completely nonchalant, and uncapped it. However, Takki clearly had no idea what was going on, so he turned in a circle watching all the commotion going, "What? Huh? Why-?"
Without looking at Takki, Tsubasa gestured to the chair absently. "Have a seat."
Takki laughed a little and did as he was asked, looking baffled. "Okay..."
Thus began Tsubasa's Mpreg Fanfiction Time.
He drew two columns on the whiteboard with TAKIZAWA at the top of one and TSUBASA at the top of the other.
Takki stood up from the chair, surprised, and protested, "We're in different families??"
Tsubasa turned to him and said calmly, "It's possible we could make our own family down the line after this."
Takki blinked and then grinned in relief. "Oh, I see. In the future. I get it. Sorry, I got impatient." He sat back down on his chair while a few members of the audience giggled at how indignant he'd looked.
Tsubasa nodded and continued. "Okie doke, pick someone in Johnny's to be father."
A few people in the audience shouted Johnny's name but Takki laughed, "No, no. Johnny's too much of a VIP. I'll go with Matchy."
Tsubasa said, "I'd go with this one, make no mistake," and pointed to Takki's name.
Takki laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Tsubasa said, seriously, "In the twenty years we've known each other, I've never met anyone more reliable."
Embarrassed, Takki smiled and said, "That's not true..."
Tsubasa wrote down "Matchy" with the kanji for father (父) next to it. ...Actually, he wrote down "Macho" first, then (after the audience laughed) grinned, "Oh dear, my mistake," and erased the ョ (from マッチョ to マッチ).
He informed Takki that Matchy was now his husband.
Takki, amused, said, "Ah, that's what you're doing."
Tsubasa nodded, completely straight-faced, and drew the character for mother (母) next to Takki's name. "Yeah, we're both the mothers of our respective families."
Takki nodded. It was amusing to watch him going along with this and barely reacting, probably too caught up in trying to figure out the angle behind all of this.
Tsubasa then went on to ask for Takki's choice in first son. About 30% of the audience helpfully shouted Yamapi's name.
Takki ignored us for a bit, then finally lifted his mic and said, "Oi, this isn't audience participation time, I want to choose my own family, thank you very much. Besides, Yamapi's too obvious a choice." To which a few fans said, "Ahh, that's true."
[Friendly Reminder: Yamapi is thirty. Takki is thirty-three. There's no point in me bringing this up, I'm just constantly amused when I remember that there's barely an age gap there.]
Takki went on to choose as his first son, Shingo (yes, from SMAP); then Kitayama as his second son; and finally he chose Tree (Fukusawa from Snowman) for his youngest son.
Then Tsubasa said, "Of course there has to be a pet, too." And because he apparently thinks all pets are dogs (and is a self-hating cat himself), wrote down the kanji for dog (犬). Takki chose Kawai.
At this point, Takki seemed to be mostly comfortable with how this corner was proceeding. And then Tsubasa said, "Okie doke, time to pick an ex-boyfriend."
Takki blinked. "Huh?"
Tsubasa pointed to the board. "Ex-boyfriend time, let's go."
And he did mean ex-boyfriend, since he wrote down the kanji for it (元彼).
Takki, using logic only Takki could come up with, said, "Well, since I'm married to Matchy, I guess I'll pick Uekasa." His face looked very much like he'd gone back to "huh?" territory.
So here's what Takki's column ended up looking like:
Takki's Family
Mother: Takki
Father: Matchy
First Son: Shingo (SMAP)
Second Son: Kitayama (Kisumai)
Third Son: Tree (Snowman)
Dog: Kawai (ABC-Z)•
*[TSUBASA: Why'd you pick him?
TAKKI: Because he's a noisy pain in the ass! "Can I have your email address? CanIcanIcanI?"]
Ex-Boyfriend: Uekasa (Shounentai)
Then things got better.
Tsubasa turned to his own column and, naturally, didn't need anyone's input since he was leading this round of madness.
Without preamble or ceremony, he wrote down Takki's name in the father's slot. The audience cheered, as expected, and Takki laughed.
Then, for the first son, he wrote down Yoko's name. His explanation was really sweet. "I don't know how many of you know this about Yoko. Maybe you can't tell from how he appears on TV, but Yoko adores his family, and his brothers are everything to him. You know this, right, Eighters?" He leaned out a bit, apparently very proud of himself for knowing the name of K8's fans. XD A handful of us cheered back.
Tsubasa continued, "So I'd want him as my oldest son because he'd take care of his younger siblings."
(Tsubasa's the perfect mix of shameless, strange, and adorable-and I adore him for it.)
For second son he picked Shooting Star (Ryusei from Johnny's West). He literally approached this guy three or four years ago through a message in winkup saying, "Hey, cool, the kanji for your name means Shooting Star! I like stars. Let's hang out."
(Adorable+strange+shameless=Tsubasa)
And for third son he named Tsuka-chan because he's bright and happy.
He chose Ohkura for his dog. XD
And then, the best part of all: the ex-boyfriend.
Go. From V6.
Because...strange. Adorable. Shameless.
So here's what his column looked like:
Tsubasa's Family
Mother: Tsubasa
Father: Takki
First Son: Yoko (Kanjani8)
Second Son: Shooting Star (Johnny's West)
Third Son: Tsuka-chan (ABC-Z)
Dog: Ohkura (Kanjani8)*
*[TAKKI: Why'd you pick Ohkura?
TSUBASA: He seems like he'd be an elegant dog. Like the type who'd promptly give you his paw.
TAKKI: Are you even friends? (laughs)
TSUBASA: Nah, I just watch him from afar.
TAKKI: And now you sound like a fan. (laughs more)]
Ex-Boyfriend: Go (V6)
Then, it was storytime, where Tsubasa combined all the elements of this column into what sounded like a story he'd sketched out ahead of time.
Ahem.
He turned to the audience and pointed with his marker to the whiteboard. "Everyone, please look. Mother: Tsubasa. Father: Hideaki. What I mean by this is: the descendants came from here" (He started to draw a curved line from Takki's name) "to here" (to his own name.) "His descendants arrived here." (He was using the word 子孫, which means descendents, but if you're not slicing hairs, he basically meant sperm.)
"So I became like this." Tsubasa mimed a huge belly over his stomach. "Then, I gave birth to our first son. I thought about going on maternity leave for a while, but then..." He drew another line from Takki's name to his own. "I gave birth to our second son. At this point, I wanted to back to being an idol, but-"
Takki finally hit his limit for quiet time and said, "Wait, you're an idol in this story? And a mother?"
Tsubasa said, "Yes. I'd been on break for about five years, so I really wanted to go back to being an idol again. But then papa came home one night and-you understand. We had the sex, and I got pregnant again." He drew yet another line from Takki's name to his. "Now, there was a man before you met Matchy, right?"
Amused, Takki said, "This is turning into a soap opera."
You thought I was making this up, didn't you?
Tsubasa ignored his input and continued, "So why did I fall in love with someone so level-headed (Takki)? Well, to tell the truth, there was someone else before him. On TV, he seems taciturn, but when he comes home he laughed with me a lot. It was Go. See, for me, I love sexy people like that, and I really wanted him to do me (crazy)*."
*Sorry, saw an opening. ...Badumcha.
Takki asked, "So...did Go-kun lose to Takizawa-papa?"
Tsubasa said, "Yep, he did."
Takki said, "Ooh!" with a pleased smile.
Tsubasa continued, "So here are the details: the two of us debuted twenty years ago when we were twenty, and we started dating. But during that two years," here he wrote 2年 on the board, then corrected himself to, "Actually, two and a half years," and added a 半, "I met Morita again and became part of the Go faction."
Takki burst out laughing.
Tsubasa, his expression composed, conitnued, "So I was with him for two and a half years."
Takki said, "I see," looking deeply entertained.
Tsubasa continued, "But it wasn't enough. I loved Go-kun. But I realized my real treasure of love was this person," circled Takki's name, "and I knew I couldn't see Go-kun anymore. So in our late twenties, you and I started dating again, and then I became part of Takizawa's family."
The audience applauded and cheered and Takki smiled and Tsubasa looked thoroughly pleased with himself.
But...
Tsubasa said, "So the Takizawa family was cemented. But that was only the prologue."
Takki blinked and said, "Huh?"
Tsubasa said, "There's one more very important thing left."
We all waited in silence with bated breath as Tsubasa slowly turned the whiteboard around to reveal...
A blank side.
Tsubasa wrote, "TSUBASA HAS ___ FOR TAKIZAWA," and turned to the audience. "Okay, what do you think it is?"
Immediately someone yelled, "A kiss!" because after a story like the one he told and the kiss on Music Station the night before, sure, why not?
Tsubasa nodded and turned to write kiss on the board. "Okay, what else could it be?"
Someone shouted, "Love!"
Tsubasa started to write it, then turned and said, "Yeah, but if there's 'love' there are 'kisses,' right?"
A fan closer to the stage yelled, "A letter!"
Tsubasa wrote down "letter," underlined it, turned and pointed to the fan and said, "Correct."
Takki squeaked, "Eh?"
The staff arrived on the scene again to take away the chair and whiteboard. Takki, robbed of his seat, did more turning and confused faces, finally taking up a seat halfway up the stairs just off center on the stage.
Tsubasa said, "To be honest, yesterday as we were traveling from Music Station to Nagoya, I thought about writing you a letter. I'm really nervous and embarrassed about reading it, so that's why I did that whole thing I just did."
Takki laughed and said, "That's why! I was wondering. It was getting pretty...um. Erotic."
Tsubasa then braced himself for letter-reading and said, "Dear Takizawa...Yayoi." (Takki's mother.)
The audience and Takki both made a resounding, "EH?" and Tsubasa continued, "Thank you for giving birth to Hideaki-kun. From the fans. That's all."
The audience laughed and applauded, and Takki repeated, "EH?"
Tsubasa gave a wry smile. "LIke I said, I'm nervous." He gave a long sigh and said, "Okay. Here I go.
Dear Hideaki,
First of all, thank you for everything. Twenty years have passed since we met, and this year is our thirteenth anniversary since we debuted. It's thanks to all the staff and the fans that we've come this far. Together we've savored joy and many moving moments. At times when I've been miserable or weak, the person who's guided me most, always, is Takizawa.
I'm grateful to him. To tell the truth, an episode we've talked about a lot on television and elsewhere, that Takizawa came to my apartment was just for fun-that was a lie. The real reason he came over was because I had something I needed to talk to him about. We talked a lot.
As far as I'm concerned, Takizawa is like family. He lifts up my heart. So really, thank you. I think there'll be a lot more ahed of us, but with our amazing fans and the staff I'm so grateful toward, we can move forward. Please continue to look after me. Thank you. And thank you for listening quietly."
He bowed, and the audience clapped and cheered.
A lot of fans, Japanese and Western alike, were pretty baffled by the lie admission part. It was more vague in Japanese, since he was alluding to things rather than saying them ("that episode we've told on TV, etc. about him coming over was a lie"). Unless you keep up with the things they talk about, you'd have no idea what he meant by that. XD
So basically, starting in their early-mid twenties, T&T frequently insisted that they very, very rarely met up in private. That was a big shift from the stories they told as teenagers about hanging out every waking moment (Takki bought a bigger bed because Tsubasa slept over so often, Takki once waited for Tsubasa for something like three hours in the Takeshita-dori McDonald's, Tsubasa called Takki around two in the morning to coax him into coming out-and then he did, etc.). To be fair, when Takki told that bed story on Utaban when they were twenty, Nakai was like, "You bought him a bed." And they cheerfully replied, "Yep! :D" And I can't remember the show but when Tsubasa told the story about coaxing Takki out in the middle of the night, he said he met Takki at Shibuya Station and walked him back to the place they were drinking-holding hands. And he said they were baffled by people staring at them for doing it. So it would seem that for a big chunk of their teenage years they just kind of acted on impulse without thinking of how something would be seen or interpreted.
So! That episode he admitted was a lie happened in 2012 during a press conference for their 10th Anniversary Event in Tokyo Dome. Tsubasa blurted, "He came over to my house for the first time ever the other day!" Beside him, Takki closed his eyes and smiled, presumably in exasperation. Later, on the radio, Tsubasa elaborated on it. Essentially, "He came over, I made him coffee, we had Manly Conversation for two hours, and then I walked him out. The doorman was shocked to see us together. Then I walked Takizawa to his car and he left."
I think most fans who've followed them long (or closely) enough knew it probably wasn't true that that was the first time Takki had ever been to his place. Tsubasa's had various senpai and Juniors and the entire Playzone cast and TMR over to his house, and he's proudly talked about or posted photos from all of those visits. So it seemed kind of odd whenever they said they never hung out at his place.
Aaanyway, let me pack up my details and finish up the MC. :D
Takki stood up and descended the stairs, and Tsubasa walked across the stage, meeting him at the bottom. He extended the letter formally with both hands, and Takki gave a tiny bow and took it.
Suddenly, Tsubasa said, "Ah!" and pointed over Takki's shoulder. Takki looked, because of course he did, and Tsubasa dove in and kissed his left cheek. Takki burst out laughing and Tsubasa continued to look solemn.
You think we're done here, don't you? NOPE. :D
While Takki focused on blushing less and handing his letter to the staff offstage, Tsubasa addressed the audience with a shy grin. "Sorry. I wanted to do that, so I did."
The audience laughed warmly and applauded.
Tsubasa continued, "That stuff we said about him coming to my place wasn't true. But whenever I'm stressed and I call him, he always comes."
Takki, more composed now, said, "That was really nice. It's an embarrassng thing for two men, but... Well, even now it's embarrassing." He laughed wryly. "But I really am happy. To be in our thirties, telling our true intentions. Today's been pretty amazing. Honestly, until now I just thought you were being perverted."
Tsubasa raised his mic, looking exasperated. "No, no, no! I told you, all that was because I was embarrassed!"
Takki grinned. "I was sitting there thinking, 'Wheeeere the fuck is he going with this? Don't tell me this is how it ends-?!'"
Tsubasa said, "I said it's because I wanted to read the letter!" a little petulantly.
Placating, Takki said, "No, I really am happy. Thank you."
The audience cheered again.
Tsubasa, on more even footing and calling on his troll powers, grinned at Takki. "Ah, you were crying (when I was reading the letter), weren't you?"
Takki said firmly, "No, no. I don't cry," even though he absolutely does.
Tsubasa wrapped up the MC with a heartfelt, "I don't mean this in a negative way, but at the end of last year when I was feeling weak (when he was in the hospital), this song helped me feel supported by the fans and the staff and by Takizawa, who was protecting Tackey & Tsubasa in my absence."
• ねぇ (Ne)
• Past Concerts VTR (Hatachi, Go con, Kurikon, 10th Anniversary Event, Two Tops Treasure)
• 抱夏 (Dakinatsu)
• REAL DX
• 夢物語 (Yume Monogatari)
• Ho!サマー (Ho! Summer)
• 愛はタカラモノ (Ai wa Takaramono)
• 空のスクリーン (Sora no Screen)
• Journey Journey
• Farewells
• 返せない傘を借りた (Awasenai Kasa wo Karita)
• ENCORE
• 山手線外回り (Yamanote-sen Sotomawari)
• 時間旅行 (Jikan Ryoko)
• 山手線内回り(Yamanote-sen Uchimawari)
• 未来航海 (Mirai Kokai)
Next up, Hiroshima!