Goodbye 2009

[pinkneck]

2009 was a year of change for me, when I was starting 2009 I thought that by its end I would be thinking marriage, and promotions at work.  Boy was I wrong.  We are five days into 2010 and I have spent more days in the hospital than out, I am still getting over the heart break of losing B.  I want to have high hopes for this year but I am scarred that if I start making plans it is all going to fall apart.  I have so much that I want to have done my the end of this year so here we go what needs to be done by the end of 2010 I will also have this saved to my computer so that I can add notes and come this time next year we will see how well I did.  I know that in general people do not keep resolutions that are made, so I won't call it that.

To Do:
                                                              

• Find a church & attend regularly 
• Run the 5k Crohn's
• Work out regularly
• Cook more (eat out less)
• Open a " rainy day" savings account
• Open a " live on my own" account
• Go back to school?
• Get a new job
• Spend more time with friends.
• Get a hobby (maybe do a theater show)
• Do volunteer work (Once a month)
• Pay Dad back
•  

I know that this list is awful long but I think that I can do it, and when I really look at it I can see that some of the items kinda group together, working out will get me ready to do the 5K run.  Saving for living alone, paying Dad back, starting a rainy day fund all go with finding a new job.  Cooking in more can go well with spending time with friends we can have dinner and movie nights once every few weeks, and maybe I can get a group together and volunteer together, possibly do a show with some friends.  I can do this, I will not spend 2010 grieving the changes of 2009 it is time to move on.  I will no longer waste my time grieving a dead relationship its time to move on.  I do not need a man to be happy or complete I just need to be comfortable in my own school.  Its time for me to live for me  I will not jump into a serious relationship, however I will go on dates and if I have a good time I will go on a second date if there is no chemistry then that is OK too, because I have amazing friends and family and I look forward to hanging out with them.

All that I am asking for is a calm year.  No hospital stays, no broken heart, and I do not want to lose a loved one.  I just need some time to catch my breath, and get the things on my list done.  Only time will tell where I will be this time next year.