(no subject)
i feel so incredibly shitty and theres nothing i can do about it, and noone to talk to about it who will understand. I want to go to another school, to the city. Where I can have an apartment and work, at say, the mall, or a fun job...I want to live somewhere there are things to do. Somewhere where just living doesn't make me want to end it all now. Yet im stuck here. I still have the same boyfriend who has somehow managed to "tame" me, meaning since I refuse to tell him to leave for some reason(s) I might as well make lemons of lemonade. I'm not sure if it's being here with him that's making everything terrible, or if it's that on top of everything else thats making my life miserable. I've thought about going back to shsu, but I dont have the means to.