(no subject)
...So things between mark and I are...better. I still feel the way I felt before, but maybe over time he will loosen up and things will change and he'll loosen up. He just doesn't understand when you back off until i'm comfortable.
I still feel romantically distant to him, but at least we're getting along better. I don't want to hurt him or make him feel rejected, but it aggrivates me that he doesn't want the type of relationship I do.
Lately, i've been attracted to people, and even wanted to fool around, just not necesarily with him. Not with anyone else in particular either, but I had an erotic dream featuring a female the other night, and then another with a male the night before.
I'm getting exhausted by this round and round thing between my family and him. I just want to leave. I want to live alone, and relax. I've been so tense lately, and there's nothing I can do about it. My grandparents aren't doing well, and my mom is really worried and stressed about everything. So am I.
On top of THAT, until I told them i found another place for them my mom and grandparents were making me give away 3 of my cats. My mom is comming with a carrier for me to take them away. I cant leave my babies, just the thought of it makes me sad and grief filled. I'm going to tell them i gave them to marks mom and hide them until she leaves. What ill do then i dont know. I cant do this charade for much longer.
I'm tired. I'm going to spend the weekend reading, sleeping, being caught in the crossfire of mom and mark, and family and cats- not to mention fighting with mom. Joy I can't wait.
I still feel romantically distant to him, but at least we're getting along better. I don't want to hurt him or make him feel rejected, but it aggrivates me that he doesn't want the type of relationship I do.
Lately, i've been attracted to people, and even wanted to fool around, just not necesarily with him. Not with anyone else in particular either, but I had an erotic dream featuring a female the other night, and then another with a male the night before.
I'm getting exhausted by this round and round thing between my family and him. I just want to leave. I want to live alone, and relax. I've been so tense lately, and there's nothing I can do about it. My grandparents aren't doing well, and my mom is really worried and stressed about everything. So am I.
On top of THAT, until I told them i found another place for them my mom and grandparents were making me give away 3 of my cats. My mom is comming with a carrier for me to take them away. I cant leave my babies, just the thought of it makes me sad and grief filled. I'm going to tell them i gave them to marks mom and hide them until she leaves. What ill do then i dont know. I cant do this charade for much longer.
I'm tired. I'm going to spend the weekend reading, sleeping, being caught in the crossfire of mom and mark, and family and cats- not to mention fighting with mom. Joy I can't wait.