(no subject)
hmmk. so im single again. which doesnt really bother me, except that i cant get him to understand WHY it is that were not toghter. it would help to have closure, and i dont want to end it bad, i want to end it on good terms. but i dont think i have a choice.
At least now im free to mingle, have fun, and dont have to worry about having someone else's problems and responsibility on my mind. Its not my resonsibility to make him a stable person, its his.
I can get my head back in my books now, and concentrate on what really matters. School. Then comes fun and friends.
I want a smart, nice looking, stable, educated, christian person with strong family values and tight family ties who is in school trying to make something of themselves.
Not someone who will drag me into their problems and make mine worse. Not to mention put my family through needless stress, hell, and debt for nothing.
I think it will be a while before i'm this serious with anyone again. And it will be the LAST time I jump into something blindly without knowing or thinking. Leap before you look, ladies. In a way, I feel like a dark cloud has blown from over my head, but the rain is still there. It's going to be a while before I get over all of this, which is the main reason I was so reluctant to end it in the first place. It takes a lot to erase long term things like this and get things back to normal again. Being with him this long seems like forever. It seems like it's been so long I don't even know what normal is to me anymore.
At least now im free to mingle, have fun, and dont have to worry about having someone else's problems and responsibility on my mind. Its not my resonsibility to make him a stable person, its his.
I can get my head back in my books now, and concentrate on what really matters. School. Then comes fun and friends.
I want a smart, nice looking, stable, educated, christian person with strong family values and tight family ties who is in school trying to make something of themselves.
Not someone who will drag me into their problems and make mine worse. Not to mention put my family through needless stress, hell, and debt for nothing.
I think it will be a while before i'm this serious with anyone again. And it will be the LAST time I jump into something blindly without knowing or thinking. Leap before you look, ladies. In a way, I feel like a dark cloud has blown from over my head, but the rain is still there. It's going to be a while before I get over all of this, which is the main reason I was so reluctant to end it in the first place. It takes a lot to erase long term things like this and get things back to normal again. Being with him this long seems like forever. It seems like it's been so long I don't even know what normal is to me anymore.