what would you do for a klondike bar?

[pinkmidlefinger]

what is to be said in the loss of something you thought was almost real? I  dont ever get to have cake and eat it too. i get a taste of the frosting of someone elses cake.  but i guess thats just the way the cookie crumbles. nothing is what it seams and just when it seams good and there are no flaws in your plan it some how finds away to fold and crumble then burn when it hits the ground. and to hide that there is nothing wrong you wear a mask. America is a good example of that. (need i say more?)... i thought not. then again i guess i dont think... EVER. My selfishness at the time of living what i think is life is realy just a realy bad dream gone even worse. I wish i was someones ice cream, but i am not. just a used, recycled peice of meat thrown around for all to see. Or maybe its the fact that i get myself into situations not worrying about what the outcome will be for me. Its not even that im minipulated. i minipulate the truth my self and i dont worry about it. maybe thats why my ass hurts so much from falling all the time.I dont think anyone is ever truly out of HIGH SCHOOL. So many thoughts running through my head its hard to see the other side without the asswhole in me comeing out, or the nice guy in me being too nice, or maybe im just being nyeive. the situations im in are not even my own but that i share with another. How do i know when im being too nice or when im being to much of a dick that i should stop myself from talking and saying something that could end all hope for a happy ending as we know it. Im not gonna say its love but its pretty deep. My best freind cant talk to me cause he dosnt know how to help. all he can do is tell me jokes and try to cheer me up. and tell me how he's tired of seeing me get hurt for the sake of another. but is it so wrong that i protect other and not myself. Dooperman wouldnt say that. he would just say some thing stupid and dig the whole even deeper than it already is. rihgt now the only thing i can do for myself is say fuckit and just uninvolve myself and pretend nothing happened.but that would be inconsiderate and un healthy for myself. it would just become another bottle in my already full storage unit.im tired of holding things in but i find it so fuckin hard to exspress my feeling with out feeling like a complete dick. my misfortune with ppl is killing me from the inside. i always thouyght i was a good guy but with the way things are going right now. i feel like the opposite. my last words for tonight will be a quote from AFI.    " shut your mouth and open your eyes "

love zac
                                  A.K.A----- Dooperman