home again
instead of spending my remainder of break in gainesville with sa, i made a hiatus to tallahassee.
18 hour mini-vacation... turned into something more...
the last week has been spent in puerto rico for free with my best friend
i rented a car with my fake i.d. and credit card
we went to the rainforest
we drank pina coladas on the lazy river at the resort
we met some locals and befriended a bartender -- "george"
(i thought his name was york??)
lost my purse at a bar at university of puerto rico, drove over the greater half of san juan, only to have it returned to me... buena suerte...
we met boys, they bought drugs in "how you say, the projects?" and returned us to cerromar and the grotto hot-tub around 7 a.m.
last night, as we drove back to dorado, i asked sa when we got so old... we were silent until i laughed to break the tension and told her i'd ask the same thing when we're forty and driving in the car all over again. the weird thing is that this will happen, and we both knew it.
half way through the trip i started to miss home.
i'm not sure what happened, but i had an unprecedented emotion to sleep at my own house and cuddle with my deteriorating poodle, and eat at outback all in the name of my dad's bday.
a year ago this week we got seans little brother drunk for the first time.
dog-tired i drove home from orlando after the flight landed.
albeit the most beautiful, it was not the most restful spring break.
streaks on my arm indicated blood-poisoning from a fall and i've been in the hospital all night. maybe i'll stay another day?
i could not have escaped atlanta fast enough last friday.
four tests, a photo critique and i was out.
head in my hands, face on the desk, tears from my eyes, i stared at my greek art books. i couldn't study, i was elsewhere.
i need a break, a long term break. or something out of my element, where monday and wednesday we don't go to maggies, and tuesdays i don't go to moes and joes with the kappas, and thursday are not spent in buckhead and fridays and saturdays are not all the same...
italy will aleviate this, but only temporarily.
after college, i've decided, to teach 'english as a second language' in tuscany. somewhere remote. somewhere far away from the talk of GRE's and grad schools.
when i think of the five hour drive tomorrow, up thomasville where i used to think of escaping, i feel slightly queasy.
it's not because i'm unhappy, or because things aren't right... i'm just bored again i guess. unfocused, just ready to spend the week in the mountains with my camera for portraiture.
or maybe because it reminds me of a time when i knew exactly what i wanted, but was scared to get it... and since i got it, or at least most of it, what now? if not now, when?
so i'm not sure what's going on, except that being at home reminds me of livejournal. or that i'm happy cause i've gotten everything i've hoped for...
a house in the highlands, two girls that i rely on incessantly at school, flowers for valentines day, a little sister in the sorority from italy who adores me, my camera, study in firenze, , a john deere mixing bowl courtesy of walmart, my roommate mike-- to cook for and have a lap to watch movies in again, and sandy who loves midnight drives and intellectual conversations and who can sing journey with the tonal inflections and passionate arm movements like the best of us...
this is just repetitive me, in this stage of this month of march where it can't pay to be happy because... i just haven't "grown out of it..." as someone last year told me to do.
things will be different though.
as today i learned two new stark realizations
1. cooper is gone. not to come back to emory again.
2. my kate flipflops are done. holes in the heels have permanently retired their pockmarked comfortableness
and i'm not sure what to think about cooper. he needs this. i haven't seen him in a month? less than that. strained friendship-- only repetitive of feril... can't ever work, but it's better than shutting down and ignoring each other. too much had been at stake at one point in time for that.
...the bipolarity of being home where you don't even live anymore...
i'll be home after italy to pack, and that's all... could that be all? when did i get this old? when am i actually going to grow up enough to match my age?
18 hour mini-vacation... turned into something more...
the last week has been spent in puerto rico for free with my best friend
i rented a car with my fake i.d. and credit card
we went to the rainforest
we drank pina coladas on the lazy river at the resort
we met some locals and befriended a bartender -- "george"
(i thought his name was york??)
lost my purse at a bar at university of puerto rico, drove over the greater half of san juan, only to have it returned to me... buena suerte...
we met boys, they bought drugs in "how you say, the projects?" and returned us to cerromar and the grotto hot-tub around 7 a.m.
last night, as we drove back to dorado, i asked sa when we got so old... we were silent until i laughed to break the tension and told her i'd ask the same thing when we're forty and driving in the car all over again. the weird thing is that this will happen, and we both knew it.
half way through the trip i started to miss home.
i'm not sure what happened, but i had an unprecedented emotion to sleep at my own house and cuddle with my deteriorating poodle, and eat at outback all in the name of my dad's bday.
a year ago this week we got seans little brother drunk for the first time.
dog-tired i drove home from orlando after the flight landed.
albeit the most beautiful, it was not the most restful spring break.
streaks on my arm indicated blood-poisoning from a fall and i've been in the hospital all night. maybe i'll stay another day?
i could not have escaped atlanta fast enough last friday.
four tests, a photo critique and i was out.
head in my hands, face on the desk, tears from my eyes, i stared at my greek art books. i couldn't study, i was elsewhere.
i need a break, a long term break. or something out of my element, where monday and wednesday we don't go to maggies, and tuesdays i don't go to moes and joes with the kappas, and thursday are not spent in buckhead and fridays and saturdays are not all the same...
italy will aleviate this, but only temporarily.
after college, i've decided, to teach 'english as a second language' in tuscany. somewhere remote. somewhere far away from the talk of GRE's and grad schools.
when i think of the five hour drive tomorrow, up thomasville where i used to think of escaping, i feel slightly queasy.
it's not because i'm unhappy, or because things aren't right... i'm just bored again i guess. unfocused, just ready to spend the week in the mountains with my camera for portraiture.
or maybe because it reminds me of a time when i knew exactly what i wanted, but was scared to get it... and since i got it, or at least most of it, what now? if not now, when?
so i'm not sure what's going on, except that being at home reminds me of livejournal. or that i'm happy cause i've gotten everything i've hoped for...
a house in the highlands, two girls that i rely on incessantly at school, flowers for valentines day, a little sister in the sorority from italy who adores me, my camera, study in firenze, , a john deere mixing bowl courtesy of walmart, my roommate mike-- to cook for and have a lap to watch movies in again, and sandy who loves midnight drives and intellectual conversations and who can sing journey with the tonal inflections and passionate arm movements like the best of us...
this is just repetitive me, in this stage of this month of march where it can't pay to be happy because... i just haven't "grown out of it..." as someone last year told me to do.
things will be different though.
as today i learned two new stark realizations
1. cooper is gone. not to come back to emory again.
2. my kate flipflops are done. holes in the heels have permanently retired their pockmarked comfortableness
and i'm not sure what to think about cooper. he needs this. i haven't seen him in a month? less than that. strained friendship-- only repetitive of feril... can't ever work, but it's better than shutting down and ignoring each other. too much had been at stake at one point in time for that.
...the bipolarity of being home where you don't even live anymore...
i'll be home after italy to pack, and that's all... could that be all? when did i get this old? when am i actually going to grow up enough to match my age?