something amazing
so much has happened in the last months.
is it possible to inadvertantly create a new life?
i got to spend some time with k over break, heading to destin for our finally perfect new years. a random call from hudson, about a band, rippee, and some kids i met the night before, coerced us to abandon all and roadtrip down. we couldn't get over our spontaneity-- but we're just dumb college kids, wasting away at the expense of a good time. :)
there i met mason.
his best friend is a band... reedwaddle.com. reed waddle is an ato from uf. rippee, hud's best friend, is also an ato, as is mason. as is christian smith, who is reid's little brother in the frat. why is my world so small? (so small david and wade)
it makes me question-- how long do you need to know someone before they're in your thoughts consistently? even though we parted on indifferent to bad terms, why am i still thinking about him? i need to re-evaluate the qualities i'm seeking in people, in friends and in romances... although i'm having a theoretical "good time" i may be making grievious errors in my decisions.
i got to dine with david and wade, david and i going ot the fair the next few days... i miss random fun like that... like watching spellbound and being those kids :)
the car trip with k was all we needed to repair tears in the friendship. the 2 hour nap at seaside was all we needed to solidify it for next time.
i spent the next week with sa, a diversion from the couch that i sat upon all break and watched movies. regrouping from the emotional wrenching first semester had done. harsh words from cooper are never enough, are they? so i sat, and i sat, and i just did exactly what i needed to do to... detoxify myself? i guess that's right.
i saw heather randomly, very randomly, and i just knew it was her, before i saw her, that blue escort of hers... sprinting across the lawn, a hug from a year and a half ago was replayed. it had been a long time. and i saw beth, and clay, and blair, and eric, and chris, and all those faces that made my heart hurt for unknown reasons. how is it possible to see people you know every day of your life? i can't even comprehend. the people i know consist of a guy from turkey, my sorority girls, the trimblites, and frat boys?
mike committed to living with us. right by fellinis and the flying biscuit. in the most amazing house i've ever seen. exactly picket fence perfect with hardwood floors to slide around on in socks, a basement to party in, a deck to grill upon, and roommates who i never not want to see their shining faces.
sandy is such a kindred spirit. i will shrivel for a while when she's in ireland. what will i do without our late night drives to georgia tech, telling dreams about what we want to create with this house, and how we want to create ourselves.
the sorority (conformity) has proven me well. i have a consistent group of girls to go to moes and joes with, ins with the upperclassmen, whom i adore. a position, volunteer outlet, a sense of sanity, a sense of sisterhood and all i scoffed at before. it's weird to think where i'd be without this.
sean came up last weekend. jazzy. very very jazzy.
it was good to see someone from home. to talk about people we know, to share jokes in southern accents.
we saw my morning jacket and the thrills.
i missed home. the thunderdome. not knowing anyone but josh and erin and kelly and looking like a fool looking at rob. i miss that?
rush starts saturday. a whole new generation of girls just like us to play with.
hudson's just finished up. i'm glad. i need huddy my buddy back in biz.
i just got my camera.
the one i've waited for all my life.
nikon n75.
it hurt me to hand over my credit card, however. i can't keep my hands off of it.
it holds so much promise. i haven't taken any pictures lately.
the emotion it takes to keep on keeping on was drained-- but in light of recent events, i'm better.
and only good quality intense photography will occur now.
i need a goal, a job, a theme, a stable commitment to something other than taxing relationships and random kisses.
i need sandy, and k, and sa, and my new beautiful house, and the promise of puerto rico in the spring and florence in the summer. i need travel, and sights, and the knowledge that the only thing that stays the same is the fact that i'm changing into the person who i will be the rest of my life and i need to make a conscious effort to remind myself of that, and not to be jaded.
i need to wrap myself in my memories i have through the photos i've taken and remember the tactile sense they have. i still have the ones up that i can't bear to put away. i probably never will. prom? how could that go? ear to ear grins at new years? arms slung round shoulders and casual poses-- documents of my life B.C. before college. unforgetable, and undeniably still a part of me that i'll never lose, but instead keep as a shroud.
footprints on the heart leave us forever changed, and pansies in the garden four years at bay. a sophomore then and one now. time flys.
is it possible to inadvertantly create a new life?
i got to spend some time with k over break, heading to destin for our finally perfect new years. a random call from hudson, about a band, rippee, and some kids i met the night before, coerced us to abandon all and roadtrip down. we couldn't get over our spontaneity-- but we're just dumb college kids, wasting away at the expense of a good time. :)
there i met mason.
his best friend is a band... reedwaddle.com. reed waddle is an ato from uf. rippee, hud's best friend, is also an ato, as is mason. as is christian smith, who is reid's little brother in the frat. why is my world so small? (so small david and wade)
it makes me question-- how long do you need to know someone before they're in your thoughts consistently? even though we parted on indifferent to bad terms, why am i still thinking about him? i need to re-evaluate the qualities i'm seeking in people, in friends and in romances... although i'm having a theoretical "good time" i may be making grievious errors in my decisions.
i got to dine with david and wade, david and i going ot the fair the next few days... i miss random fun like that... like watching spellbound and being those kids :)
the car trip with k was all we needed to repair tears in the friendship. the 2 hour nap at seaside was all we needed to solidify it for next time.
i spent the next week with sa, a diversion from the couch that i sat upon all break and watched movies. regrouping from the emotional wrenching first semester had done. harsh words from cooper are never enough, are they? so i sat, and i sat, and i just did exactly what i needed to do to... detoxify myself? i guess that's right.
i saw heather randomly, very randomly, and i just knew it was her, before i saw her, that blue escort of hers... sprinting across the lawn, a hug from a year and a half ago was replayed. it had been a long time. and i saw beth, and clay, and blair, and eric, and chris, and all those faces that made my heart hurt for unknown reasons. how is it possible to see people you know every day of your life? i can't even comprehend. the people i know consist of a guy from turkey, my sorority girls, the trimblites, and frat boys?
mike committed to living with us. right by fellinis and the flying biscuit. in the most amazing house i've ever seen. exactly picket fence perfect with hardwood floors to slide around on in socks, a basement to party in, a deck to grill upon, and roommates who i never not want to see their shining faces.
sandy is such a kindred spirit. i will shrivel for a while when she's in ireland. what will i do without our late night drives to georgia tech, telling dreams about what we want to create with this house, and how we want to create ourselves.
the sorority (conformity) has proven me well. i have a consistent group of girls to go to moes and joes with, ins with the upperclassmen, whom i adore. a position, volunteer outlet, a sense of sanity, a sense of sisterhood and all i scoffed at before. it's weird to think where i'd be without this.
sean came up last weekend. jazzy. very very jazzy.
it was good to see someone from home. to talk about people we know, to share jokes in southern accents.
we saw my morning jacket and the thrills.
i missed home. the thunderdome. not knowing anyone but josh and erin and kelly and looking like a fool looking at rob. i miss that?
rush starts saturday. a whole new generation of girls just like us to play with.
hudson's just finished up. i'm glad. i need huddy my buddy back in biz.
i just got my camera.
the one i've waited for all my life.
nikon n75.
it hurt me to hand over my credit card, however. i can't keep my hands off of it.
it holds so much promise. i haven't taken any pictures lately.
the emotion it takes to keep on keeping on was drained-- but in light of recent events, i'm better.
and only good quality intense photography will occur now.
i need a goal, a job, a theme, a stable commitment to something other than taxing relationships and random kisses.
i need sandy, and k, and sa, and my new beautiful house, and the promise of puerto rico in the spring and florence in the summer. i need travel, and sights, and the knowledge that the only thing that stays the same is the fact that i'm changing into the person who i will be the rest of my life and i need to make a conscious effort to remind myself of that, and not to be jaded.
i need to wrap myself in my memories i have through the photos i've taken and remember the tactile sense they have. i still have the ones up that i can't bear to put away. i probably never will. prom? how could that go? ear to ear grins at new years? arms slung round shoulders and casual poses-- documents of my life B.C. before college. unforgetable, and undeniably still a part of me that i'll never lose, but instead keep as a shroud.
footprints on the heart leave us forever changed, and pansies in the garden four years at bay. a sophomore then and one now. time flys.