snowy
Hey its snowy...today is johnnys birthday..i was gonna go up to his party but i decided not to not a good idea lol..
i hung out with christine last night iv hung out with her like every night, like old times, ..this bratty ass kick was next to me errrrrr..the ladies big ass head in front of me....this retarded lady wouldnt stop laughing behide me i was surrounded by idots...every time they sang loudly the baby would start kicking hard like damn lol..lillian was sitting on my lap so the baby kept kicking her lolol..we looked in the play and one of the people who helped was some jonathon kid and christine is like thats the kid who wanted u and remember i used to call his brother cuntville really loud im like shhhhhhhh and starting laughing it was so loud..the worst word and she said it outloud lol..
we went to a play that her sister was in..it was good, mr.onder was in it, it was good to see him..mr.gringno was in it, it was good to see him to....Mr Barta was there he looks exactly and acts like fredie prince jr, since a cutie and sweetheart..i had him for first hr b4 every girl wants him i dont want him but i like being close to him, hes so funny he dont treat u like ur a teenager prolly cuz he barly just got out of teenage years..he invited me n hilary to his band b4 but we never went..he taught the foods class and me n hilary and a few other people would not stop talking all the time so he alwys got us to sit next to him or hed sit there n act like a baby sitter that way he knew what we were talking about cuz he alwys sit there n be like so whats the goosip now..he told us hes color blind he still lived with his mom since he just finished college well he hasnt ending yet but he had a semester still..and his mommy will write a letter on the back o his shirts on the tags so hed know what shirts can go with what pants and same for his socks..like woahh and to drive he justs knows cuz what order they go in but he said the red is really dark the yellow he can barly see cuz its so bright to him....it was so cute..i weighed myself and it said 93lbs hes like damn girl how r u gonna get boobs with 93lbs on u cuz i alwys talked about how im gonna have big boobs im like its called silicon lol he started laughing hes like u look good without that im like awww..i was in his first class he ever taught and he barly had no idea what he was doing lol but now he works in the middle school..he started singing im like aww he just brighted my day
my bra is hurting me i need to go get a new one this is a 34b so ill be in a 36b haha im almost there at 9 months with lillian i was at 38c thats close to wear i want to be i look now im like holy shit a 38c what the fuck but they seemed perfect but they hurt..see a flat stomach and a 36b oo yeah id love that but id rather love 34 36c oo yeah my dream lolol..but i know no way ill weigh 95lbs with a big c cup..
it seems so weird how everything went by so fast..i mean i remember elementary then 8th grade then summer school then 9th grade then thinking my life was over cuz my mom made me go to truman then i got pregnant with lillian and how inlove i thought i was..then i went back to lphs and how much fun i had 10 -12 grade flew like crazy then im crying cuz everyone i went to school with since 3rd grade is graduating and im stuck another semester, then i went that semester and the teachers let me do whatever i wanted and it flew by then the whole second semester i had to wait to graduate i came back into the school 6 months later to graduate i saw everyone i starting crying..then me n christine were going down the isle to walk and im like the memories shes like i know its like wow high school is over, u tjhink youll go into school and see everyone there and u dont its so depressing..i feel like crying now....the school looks totally different inside, where the baby class was they put a preschool there for 2 and up that pisses me right off..they put a cafe there, a damn cafe geeze i leave and they get all this cool stuff..look like mostly new teachers..mr hall had a mild heart attack...i want to go in there one day and go see Sue n Carol..
all the boys lol stalkers lolol them were the days thank god for caller ids lolol christine alwys having to tell them to leave me alone lolol..all becuz i only had one person on my mind what was my problem like really lolol..but then part of me is like well y do all these guys like me and know i have a kid and " respect me for it" and even cute guys liked me i thought i attracted the nerdy ones lol but them cute ones starting coming up to me im like woahhh..like i have a baby ooo u do i dont mind like damn..if i meant a girl and i was a guy with a baby id be out fast lolol..
one kid who liked me his name was kevin doyle he lives a couple house away from todd but i didnt know that but he liked me i told him i had a baby he didnt believe me the girls in there told him he didnt believe till i got a slip saying i had this baby thing to go to that day well he found out the truth lol all the girls came up to me and was like he likes u alot and was gonna ask u out but he found out u had a kid so hes scared now im like ok that was a little disappointing cuz i kinda liked him but i knew he had goals in his life and if we would of worked out then hed be stuck with a kid that isnt his, he came up to me like 2 weeks later and told me hes sry for what he did im like well its ok u got scared but just becuz u changed ur mind u even stopped talking to me and i sat right next to u for gym and nothing u used to hit me with ur hockey stick nothing used to throw me into the pool nothing just becuz were not going out doesnt mean we cant be friends, hes like i know i was wrong and we got a little closer with the hockey sticks again and he asked me if id ever think about it again and i came out and im like noo, hes like y im like becuz im going out with someone know which was rob, but it felt good saying no but we still flirted a little bit back n forth then i think he got tired of that cuz a month later a girl asked him out and i have no idea y he didnt like me but he said yes and she always looked at me funny and every time she was around us she would hang on him and he alwys pushed her off cuz he would want to go play and she didnt want to, so to piss her off he asked me if i wanted to play hockey im like sure so i played with him in a few other people ooo man that pissed her off then after that he never spoke to me like he used to so that really pissed me off but whatever..
this guy named coe lolol this kid was in my science class i thought he looked just like enemiem but i dont find enemiem cute at all well i thought when he first came in im like woahh baby but then he starting liking me lol he gave me a card a wrote how he liked me and he was making fun of me cuz there was a fish who sucked on the fish take and hes like whats that called and im like a sucker thing he starting laughing so he put that in there well me n damien were kinda seeing each other but he lived in ohio doing whatever he wanted so whatever well i stuck the letter on my dresser and a few days later hes like can i have ur number im like ok he seems really nice n cute i thought at the time, so i gave him my number oo my god he would not stop calling me, called me b4 school after school n school o my god b4 bed, he ran up my moms car and was like cann i have a ride my moms like sure she didnt care who it was shes like as long as it wasnt damien hes like yeah i heard all about him, well he called me one morning at like 6:30pm b4 i jumped into the shower hes like i was just wanted to tell u icant wait to see u in school and i was half dead to the world well as soon as i hung up damien calls im like hello and i hadnt talked to damien in like 2 days im likei told u im getting ready for school hes like i never called yet but i just wanted to tell u i missed u im like ahhh shit..then i wanted back with damien so coe was bugging me but he actually was b4 i mean he was everywhere i was my locker i wanted to walk with christine n talk to her oono not with him without him there so about 2 months later i told her im like can u tell him to stop coming around my house and calling me cuz its creeping me out she did i felt so bad cuz he sat right in front of me.. a few days later damien came over found that card im like ooo shit ooo u were cheating on me im like nooo dipshit call him him n ask him..
then theres eric i messed around with him a little and damien found out and i told him what were did so damien alwys tried to go against him like do i do it better then ever did im like jesus and im not gonna lie to him i like damien me n him fooled around i didnt love him yes it felt good but in a playful i know were not gettting married way but yeah not all the way only lasted 2 months lolol oo boy...
shawn messed around with him only lasted like 7 weeks lol damien found a picture in my notebook of him ooo man that picture went into shreads all over my bedroom like woahh sawns face can go that little lol and i started laughing like dipshit i see this kid every day..
franky who was madly inlove with me he was cute very sweet nice body lol, he kissed me with his tough ring like woahh it felt so weird first person i ever kissed with a tough ring, and then i kissed todd and i had to start all over but now i cant even tell he has a tough ring, i remember sitting on the bed cuz he spent the night with josh i put my robe on and i layed in bed he tryed so hard lolol i remember trying so hard not to laugh but his hand kept going higher n higher lololol im like oppos i have to get lillian a sucker to lick it and i starting laughing hes like damn ur suck a tease he tried so hard to get me away from damien, him n damien fought over me n him talking and me n damien werent even together he was with donna n steph, but i liked franky he had his nipple pierced im like ewwww take that out so he did hes like damn im like ewwww..amanda was like stay with him that way i can see josh im like i cant lead someone on shes like well good job u already did, im like i know and i feel bad cuz he lived in flatrock i lived in taylor its a while away, and i think i didnt really want to cuz 2 days b4 me n rob broke up so im like what r u gonna screw me n leave me to hes like rob told me y everything fell apart and im like y hes like cuz u said his dick was little im like opppos lol i said that outloud and i did say that lolol but i think i thought that way is i didnt really like him that much so im glad it didnt work out he smoked and drank to much, but me n damien made up on new years 2003 but then donna went over there n damien went to jail for he im like fuck this so i went out allnight with franky amanda josh and joshs brother and hung out at some cafe place in wyandotte it was fun we got pulled over and amanda was younger then us and the cops is like u need to keep a eye on ur sister im like ar ar copie lolol all becuz joshs brothers car had dark windshieldhow freaking gay and it was like 3am but i had a blast franky was like hey i can se down ur shirt im like yeah i took my bra off threw the sleeve im like how about now hes like u look a little cold and i starting laughing cuz i drank a little with them, so i couldnt stop laughingmy head off, so hes like u want something to drink im like yeah so he bought me like 5 hot chocolates, i was holding onto amandas cell phone and it rings and its jeff telling me that lillian is sleeping and i thank him like 7979870890 times for watching lillian hes like no poblem stay out as long as u want im like ok and i starting laughing hes like r u guys being safe drinking im like well im with 3 guys and one girl i think so he started laughing well make sure ur not doing 3 guys and one girl im like ill leave the girl out he starting laughing hes like ok well im getting off and i starting laughing then he starting laughing and hes like ok im gonna go and hung up on me, we drove around went over frankys brothers house hes all holding me telling me this is gonna be the women hes gonna marry im like awwww then hes like r u cold im like my feet are cuz i took my shoes off and let him rub them so they got cold lol so he took his shoes off and put his shoes over mine im like damn, but he was sooo sweet and panient with me and he loved lillian and my mom liked him i had pictures of him but damiens burned them, at new years 2003 me n franky were kissing in the front yard of damiens house cuz damien came over with i love you shit and begging me and shoved me in a room and mad me sit in there till i told him me n him were over and even when i said it he still wouldnt let me out franky kept trying to get me out cuz franky is like 3 times bigger then damien and damien is balling saying i love you so i told franky let us talk and then ill come out well i couldnt stop crying so i told damien to leave i wanted to be alone well y i did it i dont know but i took off my clothes n slept nude with everyone there and i never drank either then next thing i know amanda is coming into th room to wake me up and damien is holding me im like woahh nonononono so then franky and josh came to my house but he was sweet im not really sure what really happen but every time i talk to him all he talks about is how he does this girl and that girl and honestly that makes me like him less so then now all my feeling are gone..
then theres rob everybody liked him including alicia i dont like when other people like my boyfriend cuz i know every girl knows how to get in a guys pants, and it seems like every time nicole gets a boyfriend someone else seems to like him, it pisses me off cuz all the girl hears is how much he cares for me and wants to be with me and the girl thinks i want a guy to say that about me so they get jelious.. but with rob he was sweet n nice the first time we talked was at cherly house weird huh lol well dougs house lol, and then we meant 2 days later i went n played pool with him he loved pool he taught me but i didnt care where the balls go, and the first night he brought me up to see all his friends and he got drunk cuz the girl there alwys lets him drink free and he was only 19 turning 20, but his friend was trying to teach me how to play pol rightly cuz he said rob should me dumbly lol, so yeah he got behide me which i didnt feel to comfortable and im like nooo im getting dizzy i need to go sit down so i told rob i felt weird around him that close so rob lifted me up and said if u cant left her over ur head then u cant touch her so he lefted me up and spin me around so his friend tried and im like rob ur not doing a very good job of keeping him away hes like i was just seeing if it was just you or if it was him hes like i guess it was him, so i sat on his lap the whole time he kept drinking so i drank his shot he had and im like oo my god really loud im like that was really really really sick and if i fall on the floor take me to ems cuz i think imll be dieing hes like y did u do that im like well it seems like u think ur cool cuz u drink i want to be cool to and i was being a smart ass and i felt weird i was being mean cuz it was my first night with him, so he stopped drinking and we played pool everywhere we went he wanted to play pool i got real good for a little while cuz damien found out i played with rob alot so he thought id start bringing her nd i wiped damiens ass so damien stopped bringing me now i suck big big time lol, but the night me n rob had sex we were watching the new adam sandler movie that came out and he got touchy like he alwys did but i couldnt handle it no more so he took me into my room and hugged me and kissed me and bla bla and i thought this is my second person so how am i gonna feel wee i was comforable the first 15 minutes then i got uncomfotable i think cuz i started thinking about it so i told him im getting uncomfortable so he stopped im like thank you and honestly it felt good good for the first 15 minutes then it starting not to and it seems like i didnt really like him as much as i thought so that was the end of us afterr our talk, but those 3 in a half months were fun and i wrote something in his car with a marker that said i love roberts doggy roof roof, cuz he had a dog and i had pictures of me n him but damien burned those to i have one picture left of rob my mom took but then i think y did i waste so much time on him when i knew deep down it was nothing but it was fun times..
teachers..mr hall had a mild heart attack...i want to go in there one day and go see Sue n Carol..
my mom is pissing me off so she called to appolizes to me for screaming at me for something i didnt do so she found out i didnt do it now shes like im so sry
i was playing pool on todds phone then im like oo ahh so i went threw it like a dumb ass like hes gonna leave numbers in there and even if he did i dont even know what im looking for..there were pictures of a guy kissing a girl in like 3 pictures and i dont know and im very afraid to ask but i think they were todd..but since i seen those my sexual anything for him like disappeared..im not evensure if it was him but it looked just like him on his phone..cuz if it wasnt y would he out another guy and girl kissing on his phone so close and it was at his work cuz of the stuff in the background...i believe friday night after work he was doing bad stuff i dont know what yet but i have a really big big big feeling..i even had it saturday morning and friday after work he called me and i didnt answer it on purpose becuz i felt right then he did do something or he was gonna so im forget it i dont feel like hearing lieing or screaming..but i feel like im not putting 100 into this cuz im scared shitless id rather not be attached 100 percent and be crying for days n days so id rather put 50 percent into it so when he does do somthing ill only cry for a few days..like friday he said he was spending the night at my house well he had to close but for some reason i found that a big lie to but i dont feel like fighting so i said nothing and pertended i was sleeping..but he never came over i believe he went n got drunk but its his life do whatever he wants..but my dumb ass yesterday alwys gives him what he wants and im stopping right now..i havnt even wanted to hang out with him cuz yeah he thinks im kidding that i dont want it and he only wants to hang out when he thinks im flipping out..and honestly ill find something else to do and i have been keeping myself busy..yes i get urges but its a emotional thing and i have to see him more then 2 days a week and talk more then once a day for 5 minutes.. hes like well at least im saving myself for you..OOOO I FEEL REAL SPECIAL..
im going threw books n stuff for the baby.. so far..i went in the room and i was sniffling cuz im kinda upset but i wasnt balling lol and lillian was like r u crying im like no shes like u havnt even talked to daddy im like no i havnt shes like then i dont like seeing u cry like awww im like im im not crying my noes is just running..i hate how she remembers everything..it seems like it was all a dream far far away and she remembers..ok stuff i have so far
swing from christine a very nice swing..michael is to big for it lol..
bath tub christine is gonna give me, i gave one to alicia but id rather have christines..
diaper genie that christine used for 2 months lol..
bassinet that michael grew out of..
car seat ill have my choice of 3 but her mom has 2 brand new ones so yeah..
mobile that christine just bought but she said buy the time the baby is here i can have it..
crib that my grandparents are gonna bring up next time they come up..
and shes giving me clothes n a package of newborn diapers
so i got alot of big stuff know i need little stuff and i guess thats what the baby shower is for lol but alot of little stuff but im still gonna buy alot of it
me n todd were bickering lol hes saying the doctor said i weighed 103lbs and im saying 101lbs cuz he said i only gained 6 lbs ans i started at 95lbs so 95 plus 6 what is that..but i wighed myself on my ditalo thing and it said 102.8 lbs but im still saying the doctor said 101lbs..so he can wait he said 101lbs and i dont care cuz iv been keeping track..beginning of my 5th month and only gained 6lbs woahh hoooo but i know it will hit me and yeah ill be a big lard ass..and i want to go get clothes from old navy but im afarid im gonna go get then and in 2 months they wont fit so im waiting till i get bigger..
its weird i read over this and i never think about old boyfriends all that much but today i think i did becuz i think if thats todd in those pics then i think about all the guys i played around with and how much funnier it is to have fun then to be inlove with someone cuz then that means the only 2 times iv ever fell in love then i cry the whole time and then it feels like my eyes are bleeding then i have to stop crying cuz i have no more tears..but if todd does that to me thats my goal im not gonna fall inlove again im just gonna play around cuz that means ill be 20 and i feel inlove 2 times i thought people were only supposed to fall inlove 1 once in their life not 687989808664 times..well im gonna make the kis something to eat the kids are calling for it well one is calling for it and the other is kicking me..
i hung out with christine last night iv hung out with her like every night, like old times, ..this bratty ass kick was next to me errrrrr..the ladies big ass head in front of me....this retarded lady wouldnt stop laughing behide me i was surrounded by idots...every time they sang loudly the baby would start kicking hard like damn lol..lillian was sitting on my lap so the baby kept kicking her lolol..we looked in the play and one of the people who helped was some jonathon kid and christine is like thats the kid who wanted u and remember i used to call his brother cuntville really loud im like shhhhhhhh and starting laughing it was so loud..the worst word and she said it outloud lol..
we went to a play that her sister was in..it was good, mr.onder was in it, it was good to see him..mr.gringno was in it, it was good to see him to....Mr Barta was there he looks exactly and acts like fredie prince jr, since a cutie and sweetheart..i had him for first hr b4 every girl wants him i dont want him but i like being close to him, hes so funny he dont treat u like ur a teenager prolly cuz he barly just got out of teenage years..he invited me n hilary to his band b4 but we never went..he taught the foods class and me n hilary and a few other people would not stop talking all the time so he alwys got us to sit next to him or hed sit there n act like a baby sitter that way he knew what we were talking about cuz he alwys sit there n be like so whats the goosip now..he told us hes color blind he still lived with his mom since he just finished college well he hasnt ending yet but he had a semester still..and his mommy will write a letter on the back o his shirts on the tags so hed know what shirts can go with what pants and same for his socks..like woahh and to drive he justs knows cuz what order they go in but he said the red is really dark the yellow he can barly see cuz its so bright to him....it was so cute..i weighed myself and it said 93lbs hes like damn girl how r u gonna get boobs with 93lbs on u cuz i alwys talked about how im gonna have big boobs im like its called silicon lol he started laughing hes like u look good without that im like awww..i was in his first class he ever taught and he barly had no idea what he was doing lol but now he works in the middle school..he started singing im like aww he just brighted my day
my bra is hurting me i need to go get a new one this is a 34b so ill be in a 36b haha im almost there at 9 months with lillian i was at 38c thats close to wear i want to be i look now im like holy shit a 38c what the fuck but they seemed perfect but they hurt..see a flat stomach and a 36b oo yeah id love that but id rather love 34 36c oo yeah my dream lolol..but i know no way ill weigh 95lbs with a big c cup..
it seems so weird how everything went by so fast..i mean i remember elementary then 8th grade then summer school then 9th grade then thinking my life was over cuz my mom made me go to truman then i got pregnant with lillian and how inlove i thought i was..then i went back to lphs and how much fun i had 10 -12 grade flew like crazy then im crying cuz everyone i went to school with since 3rd grade is graduating and im stuck another semester, then i went that semester and the teachers let me do whatever i wanted and it flew by then the whole second semester i had to wait to graduate i came back into the school 6 months later to graduate i saw everyone i starting crying..then me n christine were going down the isle to walk and im like the memories shes like i know its like wow high school is over, u tjhink youll go into school and see everyone there and u dont its so depressing..i feel like crying now....the school looks totally different inside, where the baby class was they put a preschool there for 2 and up that pisses me right off..they put a cafe there, a damn cafe geeze i leave and they get all this cool stuff..look like mostly new teachers..mr hall had a mild heart attack...i want to go in there one day and go see Sue n Carol..
all the boys lol stalkers lolol them were the days thank god for caller ids lolol christine alwys having to tell them to leave me alone lolol..all becuz i only had one person on my mind what was my problem like really lolol..but then part of me is like well y do all these guys like me and know i have a kid and " respect me for it" and even cute guys liked me i thought i attracted the nerdy ones lol but them cute ones starting coming up to me im like woahhh..like i have a baby ooo u do i dont mind like damn..if i meant a girl and i was a guy with a baby id be out fast lolol..
one kid who liked me his name was kevin doyle he lives a couple house away from todd but i didnt know that but he liked me i told him i had a baby he didnt believe me the girls in there told him he didnt believe till i got a slip saying i had this baby thing to go to that day well he found out the truth lol all the girls came up to me and was like he likes u alot and was gonna ask u out but he found out u had a kid so hes scared now im like ok that was a little disappointing cuz i kinda liked him but i knew he had goals in his life and if we would of worked out then hed be stuck with a kid that isnt his, he came up to me like 2 weeks later and told me hes sry for what he did im like well its ok u got scared but just becuz u changed ur mind u even stopped talking to me and i sat right next to u for gym and nothing u used to hit me with ur hockey stick nothing used to throw me into the pool nothing just becuz were not going out doesnt mean we cant be friends, hes like i know i was wrong and we got a little closer with the hockey sticks again and he asked me if id ever think about it again and i came out and im like noo, hes like y im like becuz im going out with someone know which was rob, but it felt good saying no but we still flirted a little bit back n forth then i think he got tired of that cuz a month later a girl asked him out and i have no idea y he didnt like me but he said yes and she always looked at me funny and every time she was around us she would hang on him and he alwys pushed her off cuz he would want to go play and she didnt want to, so to piss her off he asked me if i wanted to play hockey im like sure so i played with him in a few other people ooo man that pissed her off then after that he never spoke to me like he used to so that really pissed me off but whatever..
this guy named coe lolol this kid was in my science class i thought he looked just like enemiem but i dont find enemiem cute at all well i thought when he first came in im like woahh baby but then he starting liking me lol he gave me a card a wrote how he liked me and he was making fun of me cuz there was a fish who sucked on the fish take and hes like whats that called and im like a sucker thing he starting laughing so he put that in there well me n damien were kinda seeing each other but he lived in ohio doing whatever he wanted so whatever well i stuck the letter on my dresser and a few days later hes like can i have ur number im like ok he seems really nice n cute i thought at the time, so i gave him my number oo my god he would not stop calling me, called me b4 school after school n school o my god b4 bed, he ran up my moms car and was like cann i have a ride my moms like sure she didnt care who it was shes like as long as it wasnt damien hes like yeah i heard all about him, well he called me one morning at like 6:30pm b4 i jumped into the shower hes like i was just wanted to tell u icant wait to see u in school and i was half dead to the world well as soon as i hung up damien calls im like hello and i hadnt talked to damien in like 2 days im likei told u im getting ready for school hes like i never called yet but i just wanted to tell u i missed u im like ahhh shit..then i wanted back with damien so coe was bugging me but he actually was b4 i mean he was everywhere i was my locker i wanted to walk with christine n talk to her oono not with him without him there so about 2 months later i told her im like can u tell him to stop coming around my house and calling me cuz its creeping me out she did i felt so bad cuz he sat right in front of me.. a few days later damien came over found that card im like ooo shit ooo u were cheating on me im like nooo dipshit call him him n ask him..
then theres eric i messed around with him a little and damien found out and i told him what were did so damien alwys tried to go against him like do i do it better then ever did im like jesus and im not gonna lie to him i like damien me n him fooled around i didnt love him yes it felt good but in a playful i know were not gettting married way but yeah not all the way only lasted 2 months lolol oo boy...
shawn messed around with him only lasted like 7 weeks lol damien found a picture in my notebook of him ooo man that picture went into shreads all over my bedroom like woahh sawns face can go that little lol and i started laughing like dipshit i see this kid every day..
franky who was madly inlove with me he was cute very sweet nice body lol, he kissed me with his tough ring like woahh it felt so weird first person i ever kissed with a tough ring, and then i kissed todd and i had to start all over but now i cant even tell he has a tough ring, i remember sitting on the bed cuz he spent the night with josh i put my robe on and i layed in bed he tryed so hard lolol i remember trying so hard not to laugh but his hand kept going higher n higher lololol im like oppos i have to get lillian a sucker to lick it and i starting laughing hes like damn ur suck a tease he tried so hard to get me away from damien, him n damien fought over me n him talking and me n damien werent even together he was with donna n steph, but i liked franky he had his nipple pierced im like ewwww take that out so he did hes like damn im like ewwww..amanda was like stay with him that way i can see josh im like i cant lead someone on shes like well good job u already did, im like i know and i feel bad cuz he lived in flatrock i lived in taylor its a while away, and i think i didnt really want to cuz 2 days b4 me n rob broke up so im like what r u gonna screw me n leave me to hes like rob told me y everything fell apart and im like y hes like cuz u said his dick was little im like opppos lol i said that outloud and i did say that lolol but i think i thought that way is i didnt really like him that much so im glad it didnt work out he smoked and drank to much, but me n damien made up on new years 2003 but then donna went over there n damien went to jail for he im like fuck this so i went out allnight with franky amanda josh and joshs brother and hung out at some cafe place in wyandotte it was fun we got pulled over and amanda was younger then us and the cops is like u need to keep a eye on ur sister im like ar ar copie lolol all becuz joshs brothers car had dark windshieldhow freaking gay and it was like 3am but i had a blast franky was like hey i can se down ur shirt im like yeah i took my bra off threw the sleeve im like how about now hes like u look a little cold and i starting laughing cuz i drank a little with them, so i couldnt stop laughingmy head off, so hes like u want something to drink im like yeah so he bought me like 5 hot chocolates, i was holding onto amandas cell phone and it rings and its jeff telling me that lillian is sleeping and i thank him like 7979870890 times for watching lillian hes like no poblem stay out as long as u want im like ok and i starting laughing hes like r u guys being safe drinking im like well im with 3 guys and one girl i think so he started laughing well make sure ur not doing 3 guys and one girl im like ill leave the girl out he starting laughing hes like ok well im getting off and i starting laughing then he starting laughing and hes like ok im gonna go and hung up on me, we drove around went over frankys brothers house hes all holding me telling me this is gonna be the women hes gonna marry im like awwww then hes like r u cold im like my feet are cuz i took my shoes off and let him rub them so they got cold lol so he took his shoes off and put his shoes over mine im like damn, but he was sooo sweet and panient with me and he loved lillian and my mom liked him i had pictures of him but damiens burned them, at new years 2003 me n franky were kissing in the front yard of damiens house cuz damien came over with i love you shit and begging me and shoved me in a room and mad me sit in there till i told him me n him were over and even when i said it he still wouldnt let me out franky kept trying to get me out cuz franky is like 3 times bigger then damien and damien is balling saying i love you so i told franky let us talk and then ill come out well i couldnt stop crying so i told damien to leave i wanted to be alone well y i did it i dont know but i took off my clothes n slept nude with everyone there and i never drank either then next thing i know amanda is coming into th room to wake me up and damien is holding me im like woahh nonononono so then franky and josh came to my house but he was sweet im not really sure what really happen but every time i talk to him all he talks about is how he does this girl and that girl and honestly that makes me like him less so then now all my feeling are gone..
then theres rob everybody liked him including alicia i dont like when other people like my boyfriend cuz i know every girl knows how to get in a guys pants, and it seems like every time nicole gets a boyfriend someone else seems to like him, it pisses me off cuz all the girl hears is how much he cares for me and wants to be with me and the girl thinks i want a guy to say that about me so they get jelious.. but with rob he was sweet n nice the first time we talked was at cherly house weird huh lol well dougs house lol, and then we meant 2 days later i went n played pool with him he loved pool he taught me but i didnt care where the balls go, and the first night he brought me up to see all his friends and he got drunk cuz the girl there alwys lets him drink free and he was only 19 turning 20, but his friend was trying to teach me how to play pol rightly cuz he said rob should me dumbly lol, so yeah he got behide me which i didnt feel to comfortable and im like nooo im getting dizzy i need to go sit down so i told rob i felt weird around him that close so rob lifted me up and said if u cant left her over ur head then u cant touch her so he lefted me up and spin me around so his friend tried and im like rob ur not doing a very good job of keeping him away hes like i was just seeing if it was just you or if it was him hes like i guess it was him, so i sat on his lap the whole time he kept drinking so i drank his shot he had and im like oo my god really loud im like that was really really really sick and if i fall on the floor take me to ems cuz i think imll be dieing hes like y did u do that im like well it seems like u think ur cool cuz u drink i want to be cool to and i was being a smart ass and i felt weird i was being mean cuz it was my first night with him, so he stopped drinking and we played pool everywhere we went he wanted to play pool i got real good for a little while cuz damien found out i played with rob alot so he thought id start bringing her nd i wiped damiens ass so damien stopped bringing me now i suck big big time lol, but the night me n rob had sex we were watching the new adam sandler movie that came out and he got touchy like he alwys did but i couldnt handle it no more so he took me into my room and hugged me and kissed me and bla bla and i thought this is my second person so how am i gonna feel wee i was comforable the first 15 minutes then i got uncomfotable i think cuz i started thinking about it so i told him im getting uncomfortable so he stopped im like thank you and honestly it felt good good for the first 15 minutes then it starting not to and it seems like i didnt really like him as much as i thought so that was the end of us afterr our talk, but those 3 in a half months were fun and i wrote something in his car with a marker that said i love roberts doggy roof roof, cuz he had a dog and i had pictures of me n him but damien burned those to i have one picture left of rob my mom took but then i think y did i waste so much time on him when i knew deep down it was nothing but it was fun times..
teachers..mr hall had a mild heart attack...i want to go in there one day and go see Sue n Carol..
my mom is pissing me off so she called to appolizes to me for screaming at me for something i didnt do so she found out i didnt do it now shes like im so sry
i was playing pool on todds phone then im like oo ahh so i went threw it like a dumb ass like hes gonna leave numbers in there and even if he did i dont even know what im looking for..there were pictures of a guy kissing a girl in like 3 pictures and i dont know and im very afraid to ask but i think they were todd..but since i seen those my sexual anything for him like disappeared..im not evensure if it was him but it looked just like him on his phone..cuz if it wasnt y would he out another guy and girl kissing on his phone so close and it was at his work cuz of the stuff in the background...i believe friday night after work he was doing bad stuff i dont know what yet but i have a really big big big feeling..i even had it saturday morning and friday after work he called me and i didnt answer it on purpose becuz i felt right then he did do something or he was gonna so im forget it i dont feel like hearing lieing or screaming..but i feel like im not putting 100 into this cuz im scared shitless id rather not be attached 100 percent and be crying for days n days so id rather put 50 percent into it so when he does do somthing ill only cry for a few days..like friday he said he was spending the night at my house well he had to close but for some reason i found that a big lie to but i dont feel like fighting so i said nothing and pertended i was sleeping..but he never came over i believe he went n got drunk but its his life do whatever he wants..but my dumb ass yesterday alwys gives him what he wants and im stopping right now..i havnt even wanted to hang out with him cuz yeah he thinks im kidding that i dont want it and he only wants to hang out when he thinks im flipping out..and honestly ill find something else to do and i have been keeping myself busy..yes i get urges but its a emotional thing and i have to see him more then 2 days a week and talk more then once a day for 5 minutes.. hes like well at least im saving myself for you..OOOO I FEEL REAL SPECIAL..
im going threw books n stuff for the baby.. so far..i went in the room and i was sniffling cuz im kinda upset but i wasnt balling lol and lillian was like r u crying im like no shes like u havnt even talked to daddy im like no i havnt shes like then i dont like seeing u cry like awww im like im im not crying my noes is just running..i hate how she remembers everything..it seems like it was all a dream far far away and she remembers..ok stuff i have so far
swing from christine a very nice swing..michael is to big for it lol..
bath tub christine is gonna give me, i gave one to alicia but id rather have christines..
diaper genie that christine used for 2 months lol..
bassinet that michael grew out of..
car seat ill have my choice of 3 but her mom has 2 brand new ones so yeah..
mobile that christine just bought but she said buy the time the baby is here i can have it..
crib that my grandparents are gonna bring up next time they come up..
and shes giving me clothes n a package of newborn diapers
so i got alot of big stuff know i need little stuff and i guess thats what the baby shower is for lol but alot of little stuff but im still gonna buy alot of it
me n todd were bickering lol hes saying the doctor said i weighed 103lbs and im saying 101lbs cuz he said i only gained 6 lbs ans i started at 95lbs so 95 plus 6 what is that..but i wighed myself on my ditalo thing and it said 102.8 lbs but im still saying the doctor said 101lbs..so he can wait he said 101lbs and i dont care cuz iv been keeping track..beginning of my 5th month and only gained 6lbs woahh hoooo but i know it will hit me and yeah ill be a big lard ass..and i want to go get clothes from old navy but im afarid im gonna go get then and in 2 months they wont fit so im waiting till i get bigger..
its weird i read over this and i never think about old boyfriends all that much but today i think i did becuz i think if thats todd in those pics then i think about all the guys i played around with and how much funnier it is to have fun then to be inlove with someone cuz then that means the only 2 times iv ever fell in love then i cry the whole time and then it feels like my eyes are bleeding then i have to stop crying cuz i have no more tears..but if todd does that to me thats my goal im not gonna fall inlove again im just gonna play around cuz that means ill be 20 and i feel inlove 2 times i thought people were only supposed to fall inlove 1 once in their life not 687989808664 times..well im gonna make the kis something to eat the kids are calling for it well one is calling for it and the other is kicking me..