this is where i want to be forevers
i like it here. some homey feeling. better than just the living room life. I feel like im in the way sometimes. i just dont want to be a burden. But for real this is the life. I am in love and it feels so right. I dont beleive i ever have experianced this feeling before ( i know very stereo typical but youll have that.) im not just saying it like i did in the past. Before that was the lie i hid behind, I hid alot back in the day and kept all my inner secrets in. But not now. Now they will be all exposed. I have been cheated on, controlled, and manipulated. and now im done with it. I feel alot free-er now. But i do pity brian some times because every now and then i get alittle bit meaner than to be desrved with him. but he still loves me. I know he wouldnt ever cheat on me or anything but i cant help but to be weary as from learnign from my mistakes in the past. but yeah. hopefully when we move in together and just us we will connect on such a better level. (not that we dont connect now) we talk and every thing. but with his family and stuff around sometime you have to watch your mouth or in my case watch how you dress. I cant wait to have our own place and i can go around lazily like i usually do in my daisy dukes or what not and not have to worry about any body showing up or anything. I am a little worried since this will be my second time being out in the world alone. It really does bother me but ill manage. it will be much better this time with out a pot addicted illiterate cheating son of a bitch. he he there was my exploding moment. And i will say proudly i havent had a attck or anyting like a attack or depression happen in a very long time. so thats good. i dont even need to take my meds anymore! that makes me glad. well this is my huge ass update. holla at cha laters!