listen to me rant....
So Im going to let everything out right now and Im sure its going to be annoying but I dont really care because I need to say it all.
As everyone can now tell, I didnt go to the faint concert. I missed it....sold out. I was planning on going and now I didnt....I really wish I had, I needed that concert so bad, I needed to get out from here and hear them and be really really pumpped to go do something different, but I didnt. Im here. At home on a friday night. Of course...
Theres many different reasons Im not at that concert. The first one being that I couldnt get someone to cover my shift at work. See I called Gabe and asked him if he would stay 2 more hours so I could go...but he was all like no..blah, im not covering a shift so you can go on a date. it was really gay. So when I was leaving work, guess who was still there. Gabe. He was like yea I needed the extra hours. It was so damn frusterating. I hate him so much. I hate him because he knows he has this sort of control over me. Like I have to succumb to him. I have never been like this before. It puts me in tears because I am so frusterated.
Im frusterated because I want him to like me. Because I want someone to like me. Because I miss all of my old friends. Because I want to be out of this place. Because I want to run far away....and not come back. And because I know I will never have the nerve to do that, because I would have to come home and I would be too afraid to. Im tired of crying and acting like everything is okay, because its not. Im tired of acting like I have this awesome life going on....when I dont. Im tired of hiding things from my parents. Im tired of my parents making me hide things from them. I just want to get into like some crazy amount of trouble so I will have an excuse for staying home. Im tired of wanting to go out all the time. Im tired of not being able to go out all the time...
Do you see now why I am so frusterated....because I am so confused
I just wish for once, someone would notice me for who I am on the inside, not by what I wear or act like or drive. I just want it to be that simple, but I dont think it will ever be. I see so many people who seem to have everything down and done right....and I want to be like that. But then I wonder if its all just an act, like it is with me. Everything seems so fake and I dont know how to tell if its real. I hate this....
And if you think im crazy, Im not, Im just very frusterated and dont have anyone to talk to about this, so I tell it all in here
As everyone can now tell, I didnt go to the faint concert. I missed it....sold out. I was planning on going and now I didnt....I really wish I had, I needed that concert so bad, I needed to get out from here and hear them and be really really pumpped to go do something different, but I didnt. Im here. At home on a friday night. Of course...
Theres many different reasons Im not at that concert. The first one being that I couldnt get someone to cover my shift at work. See I called Gabe and asked him if he would stay 2 more hours so I could go...but he was all like no..blah, im not covering a shift so you can go on a date. it was really gay. So when I was leaving work, guess who was still there. Gabe. He was like yea I needed the extra hours. It was so damn frusterating. I hate him so much. I hate him because he knows he has this sort of control over me. Like I have to succumb to him. I have never been like this before. It puts me in tears because I am so frusterated.
Im frusterated because I want him to like me. Because I want someone to like me. Because I miss all of my old friends. Because I want to be out of this place. Because I want to run far away....and not come back. And because I know I will never have the nerve to do that, because I would have to come home and I would be too afraid to. Im tired of crying and acting like everything is okay, because its not. Im tired of acting like I have this awesome life going on....when I dont. Im tired of hiding things from my parents. Im tired of my parents making me hide things from them. I just want to get into like some crazy amount of trouble so I will have an excuse for staying home. Im tired of wanting to go out all the time. Im tired of not being able to go out all the time...
Do you see now why I am so frusterated....because I am so confused
I just wish for once, someone would notice me for who I am on the inside, not by what I wear or act like or drive. I just want it to be that simple, but I dont think it will ever be. I see so many people who seem to have everything down and done right....and I want to be like that. But then I wonder if its all just an act, like it is with me. Everything seems so fake and I dont know how to tell if its real. I hate this....
And if you think im crazy, Im not, Im just very frusterated and dont have anyone to talk to about this, so I tell it all in here