(no subject)
So dinner was....weird.
We arrived to Olive Garden at about 5:25 - on time, which is pretty unusual if you know my mom. Bob[my moms old highschool sweetheart] was sitting outside on a bench waiting for us. I remember seeing him, and he smiled at me, and for some reason it made me really sad. We walked into the restauarant, it wasn't busy at all, so we got seated within 30 seconds of walking in. We put in our orders and sat around talking. My mom and Bob kept fighting. Not full out fighting, but having really tense conversations. She kept interrupting him with really sarcastic things, and had an icy tone the whole time. Finally I sighed really loud and said, "Mom. WILL you STOP?" She didn't say anything really, just sort've sat there and was like "okay?" For some reason I had this huge lump in my throat that I was about to lose any second and just start crying. My mom and Bob kept talking about war, 'fireworks', and 'innocent people'. I had managed to work up a nervous stomachache and a tension headache by the time our entrees arrived. I amazingly was able to muddle through more than half of my ravioli even after I gorged myself on salad and breadsticks. The stiffness in everyone's mood seemed to relax a little bit as the meal wore on, just a little bit. Packed everything in a box and bag, and we left. Gave Bob a hug and said thanks for the dinner. I was sad the whole way home. Partly stressed out, partly thoughtful, partly sad.
&now I'm sitting here watching the news. and crying.
god I didn't think I was that pathetic.
I need a cigarrette.vodka.sex.
something.