Dear World:

The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the parts responsible for it were replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly- ( Read more... )

A friend of mine found the Interactive Porn Generator (Click on "Interactive...Porn?"):

( Click for the Mad Lib style LOLZ. )

Ganked from shadowconn :

If your eyes are passing over this right now (even if we don't speak often or ever), please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, good or bad---BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with.

Hee ( Read more... )

Read em and weep...with hysterical laughter. Seriously, folks: you need Depends for this sort of thing.

The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes In Fanfiction.

Mama Siamese: "Oh my God...if I ever catch you reading Danielle Steel I'm going to hit you over the head with a copy of Blood Meridian."
Me: "Bwahahahaha. Make sure it's a hardcover copy."
Mama Siamese: "Well yeah, you twit. It'll hurt more."

I have no biological ties to my sister.
Which is probably why I can laugh at the fact that she confessed her former career as a prostitute to my mother today. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

So I found this random plot generator:

A heroic zombie frees the princess and swallows a valuable business contract.

An evil scientist stumbles upon traditional cooking and discovers natural abilities.

A mighty pirate travels to another dimension by creating a BB gun.

But this one is my favorite:

An untamed bookworm must survive the world with the help ( Read more... )

Eighty-three degrees. Eighty-FUCKIN -THREE! W00000t! Yeah, we get excited up here when the ice starts cracking. Yee-hah SUMMAH! Oh to be a New Englander. We're all crazy.

Oh My God, and the dream I had last night. That's it, no more fucking Cormac McCarthy Society for me. I am so quits on that shit. Anyhow, in this dream I was discussing String of ( Read more... )

We have visuals:


( Read more... )

Excerpted from MySpace group entitled (originally enough) 'Faulkner Is Evil':

William Faulkner was a dirty old man who would sit on his porch in the nude and write stories that made no sense.

I stumbled across this a couple of days ago but I'm still giggling over it.

(Yeah, I'm a little cooked. What of it?)