tonight

Jun 15, 2004 00:32

this should be a long entry...
i pride you if you read this. if not, keep scrolling on down.

Tonight was spent in the hospital, like the past weekend. My moms cousin, my second cousin, was rushed into the emergency room thursday night, she had a brain clott. She also suffered from lukemia and she was anemic. They couldnt perform the surgery on her head because she would have bled to death. Her red blood cells were so low that they were giving her transfussions to give her new blood, only the cancer spread to her blood so it was no use. i saw her friday, she was in ICU. They had her arms tied down, so she couldnt grabb her bead because of the pain. She didnt even look like herself. On saturday she was actually doing better. Then yesterday she did a turn for the worse, they had to put pipes down her chest because they were scared that she would have a heart attack at any time. They had her on a venelator, which was pretty much the only thing keeping her alive. When i went to the hospital today, Erika came with me, which i was glad to have her there, to let me cry on. When we first got there, i got to see her, she was still alive, there was still hope. They told us that once they turned the venelator off, then should would last maybe 2 hours, but she didnt. She died instantly, around 10:15. I dont really know why i wrote this out, maybe because it was my way of letting people know how things with me have been.

I feel awful, because friday was my 10 month with jason. i had to cancel with him. Today, he called me while i was still asleep, and woke me up. hahah he was at my door. We spent the whole day together, chicken nuggets and pulp fiction. then i had to cancel going to the game with him tonight. :( i still feel awful for it. but thanks for today baby.
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